Emet Ruined The Worst Moment OF MY LIFE

[Btrfly8888]

My grandfather was in the hospital. They had only given him 10 days to live. Today was the 6th day. We go into the hospital and hes asleep. He had been asleep for 3 days straight without waking up at all. I was so incredibly close to my grandfather. He was the only person I could tell anything to. We were so much alike and actually best friends. So i'm standing by the bed and the starts doing this thing with his mouth. His eyes were slightly open and his tongue is moving in and out and he looks like hes about to v*. So i ran to the other side of the room and plugged my room and yelled for someone in the room to call the nurse and have her help him. It was his gasping for air after his lungs stopped working. He was dying. And I had promised myself, I would stay with him in his last moments. Emetaphobia ruined that all for me. Now, I never got to tell him goodbye. Thanks to this horrible disorder,

[andee]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. My mom passed of lung cancer in 2003 and I was the only sibling not there when she passed. I blamed it on having young children and we weren't really sure when it was going to happen. But really, I was so afraid of her "getting sick." So I, too, wasn't there when my mom passed. The guilt was horrible for a few years...now I know that my mom knew how I was and would never be upset with me. I believe we will all be reunited one day.
Try not to blame yourself too much, I know it's hard, but you spent what you could with him. And if you believe, he knows all about you now and how much you loved him. Take care...

[olschesky]

i'm so sorry for your loss. i can relate to both of your stories. my emet caused me to not be able to travel and be with my dad when he passed away 4 years ago.........i talked with him on the phone every night which gave me a little comfort..........but i still feel horrible about it......we were very close when i was growing up.....we even had the same birthday. my mom and him both said they understood me not being there ....they live 3000 miles away........but my one sister and i havent spoken since he passed away.......life just totally sucks sometimes.

you were there with your grandfather......he knew it.....and watching anyone die, whether or not you are an emet is a very hard thing to do...........atleast you were there......don't be hard on yourself...

you and your grandfather are in my prayers.......

[paulinek]

I'm sorry you lost your Grandad. Please don't feel bad about this, you said yourself that you and him were so close and best friends, and so I'm positivehe wouldn't have wanted you to be distressed. I'm sure by the time he started gasping like that he probably wasn't aware of you being right by his side or not, but for the time when he was simply sleeping he will have known.

People can't always be at peoples sides at their time of passing for many different reasons and I don't think you should get too hung up about those last few moments, you were there for him your entire life and that's the main thing that counts really xxx

[Btrfly8888]

Thank you

[Lexi]

I'm so sorry about your Grandpa...but please, know that he understands and knew you were there with him, in spite of what you were going through. You will be with him again one day...I believe that. Please take care and do not blame yourself any more. He knows about your fear and he knows how much you love him. Be at peace...xo

[missj]

I am SO sorry. I was close to my grandfather as well, and I can understand your hurt.

I know he loves you, and I'm sure he's looking down on you. You didn't fail him. You didn't fail yourself. Like you said, he was your best friend...you could tell him anything. He would NEVER be upset with you over a reaction that any emet would have in that scenario. And you know what? You WERE there. You walked away when it got a bit scary and screamed for help (which was the right thing to do!) but you WERE THERE. Don't forget that.

I bet he's very proud of you. Don't worry, please. And remember...he is no longer in pain.

[TheJadedDiary]

I'm really sorry, not gonna lie, i teared up reading this. I had a similar experience with my grandpa, i was always so scared of the hospital and seeing him so ill, i barely even talked to him I feel so awful about it, i was around 7 at the time and ugh.. i'd just hide in the waiting room instead of being with him. I remember even being too afraid to hug him, all i did was shake his hand and run away when i saw a nurse with a basin come in