I can honestly say that I understand where you're coming from. I'm not so concerned with things such as first dates, but worry more about things in the long run. It scares me to think about being around someone for extended periods of time who is a likely carrier of germs. Isn't it sad? I worry about spending my life with someone because they could make me sick.... I don't really want to start a family for the same reasons. These thoughts, as well as a veritable plethora of others, also make me think about suicide on a near-daily basis. I've had some close calls where I nearly ended my life, and since the thoughts have been more intense lately, I decided it was time to get some counseling. I've only had two sessions so far, but I can tell it's going to be a big help in the future. Perhaps this would be a good thing to look into. If you're worried about cost, I think there are many programs that provide help at little or no cost. Just think about the people you love, and those who love you... you owe it to them, if not yourself, to get help. I know the thoughts can be intense sometimes, but fight them with all your will. Help is out there.....
<Zachary>
<center><font face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\"><font size=\"2\">Bach gave us God\'s word,
Mozart gave us God\'s laughter,
Beethoven gave us God\'s fire,
God gave us music that we may pray without words.</center></font></font>