Hi guys! So let me give you a tiny bit of backstory before I talk about what I did today.
I have a friend who has a HORRIBLE eating disorder, it's ten times worse than mine has ever been. She's a mix of anorexic and bulimic, and we all know what bulimic means...
Her eating disorder has ruined her body to the point where she throws up EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Even when she isn't trying to purge, it happens anyway. Sometimes more than once. It's almost impossible for her to keep food down. Not only that, but she shits about 10x a day as well. Her body is failing her and it breaks my heart. Her stomach muscles are so used to purging, and now they just won't stop. She's trying to fix it but no luck so far.
She's one of the friends I have that I talk about my emetophobia in depth to, because she has so many of her own issues and would NEVER judge someone's phobia.
She gave me this idea that I was scared to try at first, but I ended up agreeing to try. She suggested that she helps me slowly expose myself to puke, and she's the perfect person to help me do so because she's got an endless supply of it, poor thing
So we broke it up into steps. Earlier today we Facetimed and talked about it and this is what we came up with:
Step 1: She sends a Snapchat photo of the toilet after she's been ill. It disappears after a certain number of seconds and then it's gone forever.
Step 2: She sends a Snapchat video of her actually being ill. She would send a voice message before a video but she doesn't really make any noise when she gets sick.
Step 3: She sends me a video in our text conversation, and I watch it multiple times.
Step 4: She Facetimes me while she throws up and I experience it in real time.
Step 5: I spend a whole day with her and don't leave when she inevitably throws up.
Aaaand *drum roll* ...I DID STEP 1 TODAY!! She sent me a picture on Snapchat a couple hours after we got off of Facetime, I looked at it and I DIDN'T FREAK OUT!!!! That was today's little victory, and I just wanted to share that along with the plan her and I have made