guys...
i'm depressed. i'm angry. i'm frightened. i'm alone. i'm hurt.
i feel dead inside.
a lot has gone on which i've kept away from here.
my friend has tried to commit suicide twice. ended up in hospital once, and nearly went in the other day again after taking yet more paracetamol.
she's all i have. and i'm not kidding. since leaving school, all my fiends have gone. they have lives. they socialise. i don't. i'm the oddball. the one left behind.
she's the only one who gives me a moment to feel lke i exist. i txted my ex-best friend from school the other day. i got no reply.
what's more - i ws supposed to see my psychiatrist today.
she cancelled.
15 minutes before i left to go.
i'm supposed to see her monthly, i vhvent been for months and months on end now. she does this every time. and gives no reason - just "she can't make it".
i'm just feeling dead inside. worthless. likei don't matter.
i know i've got my CPN.. and we're strting exposure therapy soon... but i'm not seeing him for another 2 weeks, i didn't see him last week, so thats 3 weeks til i see him again.
i need consistency.
i'm not strong enough to be left alone yet... stranded... i still need mental help.
i'm slipping.
fading.