Feeling very alone in this battle, could use some tips and support

[daly6405]

Thank you for taking time to read this first of all! I'm new to the forums and hoping to find a support community here. In reading about emetophobia, I fit so much of the criteria. It's controlled a lot of my life (I'm almost 34) since I was as young as 9. I can't think of anything super unusually traumatic that caused this, but has always been a struggle.
I have 3 children and pregnant with my 4th. I currently have terrible panic attacks if I think my children are catching the *sv*. Yesterday one complained of the stomach ache and didn't eat much dinner. I couldn't sleep until 1 a.m. worrying he was going to vomit and then it would spread to the whole family for days on end.
I have a problem and I need help! (The first step is admitting it, right? haha)

[mdgirl1977]

welcome! you are in the right place. lots of moms here (I have an 8 year old son) and all of us moms struggle! some are scared of themselves sick, many of their kids, and lots of us are scared of both. it causes a lot of guilt because moms are supposed to be able to take care of sick kids and many of us can handle colds and other things but the second our kid looks pale or says "belly ache" we cry in locked rooms, rocking in place, wishing we were anywhere else. I know how awful it is!

[daly6405]

welcome! you are in the right place. lots of moms here (I have an 8 year old son) and all of us moms struggle! some are scared of themselves sick, many of their kids, and lots of us are scared of both. it causes a lot of guilt because moms are supposed to be able to take care of sick kids and many of us can handle colds and other things but the second our kid looks pale or says "belly ache" we cry in locked rooms, rocking in place, wishing we were anywhere else. I know how awful it is!

YESSSSS!! This is exactly me! I feel so guilty that I want to literally leave the state when my kids are throwing up. I worry both that I will get sick and they will be sick all night long passing from one to the next. I'm totally fine with colds, fevers, ear infections, rashes... but not vomiting. Please let me know tips that have helped you not be as irrational about it. Ironically when they actually do vomit, I can usually deal with it okay and care for them, but the anticipation of them getting sick or how long it will last or who else in the family will get it causes me major major anxiety.

[mdgirl1977]

God there are lots of tips but I know you probably do many of them. I have a box of vinyl gloves and lysol. I buy clorox professional hospital grade hydrogen wipes at Amazon (they kill Noro!!!). Google them. they smell amazing and are cheap. a huge canister will last you a year. I wipe everything once a week (more in sick season). also, I always keep kids pepto and tums in the house and if my son feels bad I give him one. I don't abuse them but often it helps him and calms me down. hmm what else...when my son is sick, I freak the eff out. I won't lie. I wash things on hot water 2 or 3 times. I am not even embarrassed.

[daly6405]

God there are lots of tips but I know you probably do many of them. I have a box of vinyl gloves and lysol. I buy clorox professional hospital grade hydrogen wipes at Amazon (they kill Noro!!!). Google them. they smell amazing and are cheap. a huge canister will last you a year. I wipe everything once a week (more in sick season). also, I always keep kids pepto and tums in the house and if my son feels bad I give him one. I don't abuse them but often it helps him and calms me down. hmm what else...when my son is sick, I freak the eff out. I won't lie. I wash things on hot water 2 or 3 times. I am not even embarrassed.

LOL! I guess I'm looking more for tips on not freaking out irrationally about. How to stop the panic attacks. I'm already OCD with them about hand washing and never eating expired foods, ect. We drink grape juice daily b/c it's supposed to lessen the chances of getting the *sv.

[andee]

Hi, bless you for having your fourth!! That shows you are strong! I have two, now older, 17 and 13, and I will tell you that it's soooo hard when they are little! SO unpredictable, etc. Thankfully, my hubby is great with that stuff. Do you have an understanding husband who will help you? That got me through a lot. Also, when they were old enough to understand, I explained my issue with them and they seemed okay with it. I basically told them that Daddy will take care of them and not to worry, etc. The panic attacks are harder to control...I just keep saying that it's okay, I can handle this, doesn't mean I will catch it, over and over...the mind can quickly go into catastrophe mode. Good luck and keep us posted...

[mdgirl1977]

ahhhh! well I do a lot of deep breathing and distraction techniques (cleaning and stuff). giving my son pepto helps. I also rely on my ex to get him sometimes if I really lose it. honestly, having another adult to be able to lean is critical.

[Syrup]

I have 2 boys, my oldest is 10 and the youngest is 5 1/2. One thing that I've found that has really helped is the get special movies (dvds) or to "que" movies that I know they would like on Netflix so that when it does happen, I can immediately distract them to make them happy which lessens my anxiety. When they are ok I am ok. When they feel sick I have them go sit on the toilet, if it continues and I really think that they are sick I set up a spot (for the older it's in the bathroom, the younger it's on the couch covered with a sheet and a bowl or bucket handy) for them to just chill out and wait it out. We've only had it happen once that a child has done this without v*ing.

Keep reminding yourself that every kid v*s from time to time. It's short lived. It's NOT the end of the world. You've handled it before and you'll do it again. Every year that passes you've had more experience and they are older so it's more likely that they will be able to handle much of it themselves. My boys caught a bug in December. I was so surprised that my 10 year old didn't even want me in there. He wanted to watch movies and just ride it out. He said that anyone asking him questions just made it worse. He was totally fine and let me know when he was ready to start drinking fluids again. He handled it like a champ which I was really proud of!

How old are your kids? It feels like forever and I know the feeling of dreading the next bug but I promise you the older they get the less the bugs happen and the easier they become!

Glad you're here!

[mdgirl1977]

excellent advice, syrup! as always!

[Tasmith]

This tgread pretty much describes my life. I have a two year old and a six month old and I live in constant fear that one of them will just *v with no warning. The anticipation is absolutely the worst part and I hate myself for wanting to get the hell out of dodge when someone starts complaining of an illness. I know that it is irrational, but knowing that certainly doesn't make it any easier. I wish I had a live in nurse to deal with it.

[mdgirl1977]

I didn't worry much when my son was really little bc I assumed it was rota or something I wouldn't get bc my immunity was better. once he hit elementary school I freaked out. I don't know if that's stupid rationalization. lol.

[daly6405]

Thank you for all the supportive and understanding replies. I have twin 7 yr olds and a 4 yr old. The older ones are really great abt making it to the toilet or in a bucket. The younger one rarely *v's so it's usually not an issue. The only time he caught it this year he was at Grandmas for the weekend (thank God!) I felt so guilty that two of them got sick with her, but was so thankful I didn't have to deal with it.
It seems that the anticipation when one gets sick or says they feel sick is the worst for me b/c then I spin into this irrational mode of wanting to escape and skip the coming week, wondering who all will get sick, how long it will last, ect. Sometimes I can't even get on Facebook b/c so many darn people love to post about their kids getting the *sv!!! Why do they do that!!!??? No one wants to hear about your kids getting sick! Argh. It triggers me and I'm paranoid for days!

[Tasmith]

I think you and I may be the same person. I have said all of those same things. I HATED it when people post their illnesses on FB! UGH! And, yes, the anticipation is the WORST!

[daly6405]

I think you and I may be the same person. I have said all of those same things. I HATED it when people post their illnesses on FB! UGH! And, yes, the anticipation is the WORST!

Right!? I want to post a rant on FB about it, but realize it's just my dysfunctional emet side coming out

[Tasmith]

And what about when they have people *v on TV. Wtf? Why do people find it so entertaining?!

[daly6405]

And what about when they have people *v on TV. Wtf? Why do people find it so entertaining?!

Yes! I could never watch the Steve O movies or shows b/c he's constantly doing it. And there' s a handful of kids movies I remember having strong reactions to even as a child! Shows how long I've been dealing with this phobia!

[Tasmith]

I hear you. I've had this for as long as I can remember. I thought that when I had my own kids I would magically get over it. People always said, oh, when its your kids, it's different. Yea, they're right, it is different...it's more terrifying because I can't escape them! I don't know how I'll survive all of these flu seasons with my kids! I'm considering having one more and I'm just not sure I can handle another potential sick person!