I'm new here...

[BKaifos15]

Well since I'm new here I figured I would post my story...

My name is Bethany and I'm 24 years old and I've been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. Apparently my older sister V*ed on my head when we were younger and I'm assuming that's what has caused this fear. Of course I particularly remember one time when I was in the 4th grade where I watched an episode of Road Rules on MTV where they had to eat nasty animal parts and everyone was V*ing all over the place and I wound up laying on the couch crying my eyes out feeling nauseous from it. From then on I've never watched the show again, or MTV at all for that matter. And I steer clear of ANY shows that may POSSIBLY involve sick people. So...I rarely watch TV...I hate living like this. I'm a Pre-Veterinary medicine student in college and adore animals. NOTHING involving animal sickness bothers me...NOOTHHHINGGG. It's crazy!

But if anyone in my house is sick V*ing, you can bet your booties this girl is outside sleeping in her car no matter how hot or cold it is. I carry around a can of lysol and almost have to take anti-anxiety medications to deal with my day after that. If anyone even just says they feel sick I lose it. I panic. I'll start shaking uncontrollably all over, sweating, get nervous, get terrible anxiety, racing heart, feel sick myself. It's absolutely horrible. I'm not just afraid of V*ing myself, I'm afraid of everyone else V*ing too! I think about it every single day. "What if...!!!" When I go out to eat, I'm afraid I might eat bad food, or that I might go into a bathroom with someone sick. I don't go to parties, I don't go to hospitals, I hate doctor's offices. I have nightmares about people v*ing and wake up in a panic. I don't go to amusement parks. I hate car rides because they make me motion sick. I carry motion sickness pills around in every bag I carry...book bag, purse, gym bag, you name it!! If I feel the slightest bit weird in my stomach I'm downing some of those pills and praying it all just goes away! I seriously don't know what to do anymore...I hate brushing my teeth because it makes me gag and I absolutely can't STAND other people brushing their teeth around me! If someone gets sick around me I get FURIOUS! My boyfriend got sick in the parking lot after we went to the gym once and I ripped him a new rear end for V*ing around me. I yelled and was mad at him for it...who does that? That's so terrible for me to do that to someone when they can't help what's happening to them...

I want to switch my major from Pre-veterinary to radiology tech or nursing but I'm absolutely positively terrified to do that because of my emetophobia. I make all of my decisions in life based on, "What if someone gets V*s!?" It's running and ruining my life.

[yourjedi]

Hi, Bethany, welcome! I'm sorry you're at such a rough place in this phobia - we've all been there. Hopefully, you can find support and understanding here and work towards beating this phobia.

[MrsEmetophob]

Sounds like we have a lot in common... I am 24 as well however my phobia started when i was 22 and my DD had her 1st SV.. ive been terrified since. I to base my life choices and daily decisions on this fear...
If I know for 200% certainty that its not contagious im semi ok, if i dont know...get the hell away cause im going on a killing spree.. i spend 200$ on lysol, bleach and other supplies...MONTHLY. i buy my lysol in bulk, 12 at a time. I bleach my house daily. I dont allow people over, if on a rare occasion i cant prevent, dont even think about wearing your shoes inside and you better friggin wash your hands before you do anything... i can go on but you get my drift 😳

Hope you can find some support and feel better!!!

[Soph1999]

Hey! Hope you feel welcome here! Im sure you will find many people who are similar to you because I for one can defo relate to this! So hope you feel comfortable here!

[BKaifos15]

Thanks to all of you for your replies and support so far! It's so frustrating having to deal with this every single day! Especially when it's starting to get in the way of career choices. I'm considering treatment/therapy for it but idk if there is anywhere or anyone around where I live who handles this type of thing...ugh!

[mdgirl1977]

Hi Bethany! Well you are with a nice group of people that know EXACTLY how you feel. Frustrated, scared, angry at ourselves and others, nervous and a general mess. Well, that is how I describe myself. I also avoid eating out, hate hospitals and big gatherings, cannot be a passenger in a car ever for years...I am a mom and I drive my poor kid nuts everytime he so much as looks at me funny or seems like he is pooping more than normal!

[reevagee]

wow. sounds like i just read my own bio. lmao. if I'm not panicking, I'm mad at myself for being afraid of this. i am so strong about everything. I'm in school to become an rn. when my best friend took meds after a surgery she got sick and v* in my car and i helped her. that was the first time ever, but id literally give my eye for this girl and i just helped automatically. the fear hit me after and i was n* for hours. then a few months ago, my ex had surgery. i took him and nursed him. a month later there was complication and he starred to bleed profusely from his nose and was choking on blood. i drove him to the er and ran him in where he was gagging on blood for almost 2 hours. he had ended up swallowing so much that he v* blood ansi helped him also. i stayed with him two days after that to make sure he was ok. i thought i was getting better and being brave but as soon as i know someone is contagious i become an animal. i run and hide w my tail tucked. i carry an entire pocketbook full of remedies. idk how i am going to make it doing my clinicals next semester. i have let this fear run my life for so many years it almost feels normal. then i have days where i hate myself for being afraid of this when I'm not even afraid of death. everywhere i go i see v*. I'm constantly in fear of being sick or others being sick. i have ulcers and ibsand every time either attacks i panic, which causes n* which causes panic.. and so on.. anyway to wrap this up.. lol.. u are NOT alone. this site really helps and i had joined few years back and lost my password so i just rejoined. reading about others who are the same as me really helps and the reassurance is amazing. you're never alone! we can kick this thing in the butt! xoxo