Scared to grow up because of emet.

[j.shinay]

Hello. I am fairly new here. I am 18 and have had emet for close to 10 or 12 years, ever since elementary school when kids with little self control would s* often. Because it was that atmosphere where I began the fear, it is more other people v*ing than me v*ing that bothers me, but that scares me as well. For me it is almost the actual v* that bothers me, not the action or the idea.

Right now I am about to go to college, and I am also at the age where thinking about my future and my 20s seems to come a lot. I am very afraid of college and growing up because of my emet. I am going to art college w/o sports teams, so I hope the extreme drinking culture seen at larger schools is not there as much. I am planning on living on a substance free zone just to be safe, but I am very very scared of my floormates getting s*

Another huge fear related to my adult life is having children. I have always been excited to grow up and start a family, but as I row older I see the reality of small children and their inability to v* controlablly. When they are s* it seems it is always a mess that needs to be cleaned up. My fear has recently made me think I do not want to have children, which is very very upsetting.

I am wondering who else has dealt with these things and how. I am in therapy but it is not emet centered and so does not help too much. Please help me. I really would love to enjoy school and my life without being afraid of it all.

[crd08]

I know how you feel and I am sure many others do.

To help you relax a little about college: I go to a HUGE party school. We're known for our parties and I have never seen anybody get sick. I even ventured out into our famous Halloween block party and the only thing I saw was guys peeing on tires! lol Sports teams or not, kids drink. Unless you are a huge party go-er I doubt you will come into much, if any contact, with hangover sickness.

I fear growing up as well. I don't want to graduate college, but I hope by the time that day comes I will be more in control of this. I fear the day I have to get a job. I have never even had your typical teenager job at a McDonalds or anything. I want to have kids, but being a girl I fear morning sickness and then of course them getting ill.

It's something we all deal with, but many are able to overcome because we have to. We can't stop growing up, but we can learn to cope.

[j.shinay]

Thank you, that makes me feel a little better, esp. knowing you've even been to parties and been ok. Ive been worried im going to force myself to be s hut in, esp. while all my older friends are all telling me these horror stories of their roomates getting s* IN THE ROOM!!! Which is like my worst fear.

Hopefully I can just take things as they come :-)

[crd08]

If you are worried about roomies, you could try for a single? And I know I found a roomie who didn't drink by filling out the rooming survey the school sent out and in a facebook group for my graduating class. That is always an option. Rooming alone isn't a bad thing as long as you still socialize in class and stuff.
College is great if you let yourself enjoy it! There are pleanty of fun things to do that won't involve alcohol, because I know it makes me nervous too! My campus always has something going on.
Good luck and have fun. I think you will be just fine! Glad I could help.

[j.shinay]

My college unfortunately doesn't have singles for freshman, which sucks, but they are suite style which means even though I will have a roommate There will only be four people sharing one bathroom, which is not as bad an an entire floor sharing one bathroom :-) Hopefully the survey/ subfree floor will allow me to get a *safe* roommate.

I think ill be ok :-) As a jewlry major ill probably be in the studio more often than not anyhow!!! Thanks for your support.

[tman563]

One of the most important things at college is to make sure you take vitamins and things to keep your immune system strong. Check out a product called Airborne. Lots of people living in close quarters does make it easy for people to become s*, but generally they are the people that don't take great care of themselves.

I have a friend who gets only about 5-6 of sleep a night at school, and he is s* 50% of his time at college. Eat well, take vitamins, get enough rest, and wash your hands regularly, and you will be fine!

Also, for every person who goes out and drinks and might get s* back at a dorm, there is also a person around the dorm who is a genuine good person who looks out for those who are sick. Surround yourself with some people who understand your fear, and you will be perfect.

[tileyw]

Hi cant believe i have found someone who fells the same.my life is effected greatly by this phobia, and i myself if im honest dont want to have children because of this phobia, which males me very sad ..

[j.shinay]

yeah, seeing how my phobia is more me than others, I guess ill just have to give everyone I meet gifts of airborne and vitamin C :-P

And to tileyw, it makes me very sad too, especially the fear of having children. Hopefully we can both come through some how :-) This board alone ahs certainly helped me alot and ive been checking for a couple years ow (I used to have a different account which I didn't use all that often, just really read what other people were saying, though being more active has definitively made things easier!!!)

[gumdropper1]

Read the FAQ. 77 percent of emet women have vomit-free pregnancies.

[j.shinay]

No im not afraid of morning sickness at all actually. Its my CHILDREN throwing up that scares me. If my child is sick, im literally not going to able to do anything for them at all.

[olschesky]

this is my first post on this website....so glad i found it. i'm much older than you girls...58....so i've been where you are.....i don't like being around drunk people because they can get sick.....but i keep telling myself that it's not contagious so i won't catch it. i worry more about the stomach flu etc that goes around... this phobia has kept me out of airplanes, amusement park rides, boats, long car trips, large crowds.....i thought it would get easier as i got older but that has not been the case so i'm hoping that reading this website will help me.

[silversun]

I'm 42 and have been where you are. I was worried about college life, but made it through. I am happy to report that in four years of college I never once saw someone v*, and no s*v* ever "went around" campus. After college, I didn't want a roommate for fear they would get s*. I lived alone for a while, but then I had a mouse and discovered my fear of that was greater than my fear of the s*v*, so I got a roommate. Again, no v*.

As an adult, I worried about having children for the very same reasons that have been described. I did not have v*-free pregnancy, but I made it through. Knowing it was temporary -- and honestly, knowing it wasn't contagious, so I didn't have to worry about my husband catching it -- helped me cope with that. And now I have a five-year-old. Do I get worried, particularly in s*v* season? Absolutely. But thankfully I have an understanding husband who helps me get through it.

My experience in life, dealing with this, has been that the anticipation is awful, but then when I look back I realize that getting through wasn't THAT bad. And knowing that is what helps me keep going forward. I can remind myself that I've survived the last 42 years (about 30 as an emet) so surely I'll make it through the next 42.

Hang in there.

[PinkButterfly]

I made it through living with roomates in college for two years. I moved back home for the last two.. just because of money. BUT I can successfully say that I made it V* free! And my roomates never got sick unless they drank too much, but that doesn't bother me as much because I know I won't get sick from them. Honestly, just keeping things clean and avoiding germs is the best you can do, and it really does pay off.

As for children, I'm right there with you. I am going to be engaged soon.. (yeah your not supposed to know, but I've been with him forever and we've talked about it a lot.) So yeah I am thinking of children in the next few years.. I'm severely afraid of them getting sick. My boyfriend is just like you will just have to deal with it. Its not that EASY. He doesn't know that.. I actually opened up to my parents and talked about my emetophobia ( I felt like i was coming out of the closet ) But I jokingly, (but not really) told my mom that the kids will just have to go to GRANDMAS house when they get sick. ha.
But no really.. I just really want to tough it out because as much as it might suck when it comes to those times, I really look forward to being a mother..

[j.shinay]

Gosh those stories made me feel alot better! Especially about college! Unfortunately (or not, i guess) it is ONLY the vomit that bothers me, not the fear of getting sick. So drunk people is probably my WORST fear. Honestly I don't care about germs at all. I can actually be quite unhygienic sometimes, because I don't care if I vomit, only if other people do. So with kids, i don't care if I get their sv. I just dont want to clean up after them. . blah.

I will say, though, that I am grateful I don't have the me getting sick part of the fear, especially after hearing how afraid so many people here get.

[PinkButterfly]

Well hopefully if they decide to drink they will get sick at the party and not back at their dorm. I would let them know if they are going to get sick, that it really bothers you and it shouldn't be a big deal and hopefully they will respect that.

You're very lucky to only have that. I am afraid of both sides.. But more so of others getting sick around me with cause me to get sick, then I start thinking I somehow caught their sickness within minutes.. haha..

[fivefeetshort]

I can tell you some stuff from experience as to college...

I guess it's a little different because I'm afraid of catching it from people, so the best advice I have is to know that other people are v* around you because they drank too much!

But as far as drinking and stuff, just know your limits. I wouldn't say don't do it at all completely, but I usually go with making sure I'm not drinking on an empty stomach and stick to one drink or so an hour. It also keeps you from getting drunk and doing stupid things you'll regret later

And kids...I haven't gotten there yet. I've cleaned up after my nieces and nephews before, but I always worry about getting sick from it so that's what bothers me.

[missj]

I am so sorry you're feeling so scared. Trust me I have been there.

I let my emet hold me back from going and getting the true college experience which I regret. Instead I went into the working world (but did very well!) and just finished my associates degree in my early 20's and am now starting the rest of my bachelor's in the fall. I can tell you that whether you go to college or just go to work or have a roommate or don't have a roommate the same events are going to happen: you're going to drink from a water fountain, open a door, touch a surface, or use a restroom that someone with the SV used and may/may not have germs on it. Regardless of having a roommate or being in college or not these things will happen.

I was on campus this fall and winter through an awful outbreak in my area of the SV using public bathrooms and even going to the gym at my schol 5x a week but never got SV. I washed my hands frequently, didn't touch my face EVER, and kept sanitizer on me as well.

With the drinking, I was never a big drinker because I was afraid it would make me V*. I have never done that from drinking because I never drink "too much". I actually enjoy a strong drink or a good wine with dinners out because it gives me hope that if there's some food borne illness in the food prepared for me, the alcohol may help kill some of it off. It also tends to make me relax a little.

Having kids is my biggest dream for my future and I agree - it scares me to think that they could come home with the SV and I could get it - or heck, even morning sickness scares me! I try to remember that adults generally have a better immune system than kids. My brother got the SV a lot as a child and my dad NEVER got it from him and my mom very rarely (maybe once?) contracted it. You're still so young so I am hopeful for you (and me!) that before we have kids we will get our fears under control!

I know this is cliche because I am dealing with it now, but try not to let it hold you back from your whole life and seek therapy. I am seeing a therapist via my school right now and she's really helping. More than anything it just feels good to speak with someone face to face about your fears without being judged.

[chixy]

I'm also really scared about the future. I'm 19 now and I've had this phobia for a pretty short time than others, about three years. It scares me that I've already come to a point where I am just so fed up with everything that I have stopped doing any kind of rituals and avoidance behaviors. Maybe not the major ones but I don't check dates in foods anymore and I drink alcohol (in small amounts) sometimes. And even though I am like this, like soooo tired of the phobia that my tiredness of it seems to cancel out some if the anxiety, I still can't beat it completely. And that scares me! Am I going to walk around all fed up with the way my life is all my life!?
One thing I do think I need to stress though is the fact that some people can not for their lives drink alcohol properly. And people do get sick when they drink. It happens. Being in denial if the fact that it could happen could lead to some uncomfortable situations if you we're actually exposed to it. Lets say for arguments sake that somebody would v* and you'd see it, I really think your reaction and fear response would be worse if you've kind of been denying that it COULD happen! I'm going to university as well which is super super scary because I am both agoraphobic and emetophobic, and I'm moving from Sweden to England for university!! Super scary haha! But I think the main thing with this is that the university time of our lives is supposed to be filled with fun experiences and good times, and we can't let the phobia stop us from doing the things we really want to do. If I let my phobia decide, I wouldn't be going at all and I'm not going to let this shitty phobia ruin what could be the best time of my life. Just try your best to say yes to things you really want to do, and have fun while doing them!
There is a thing called anchoring you could do which could help relieve some of the anxiety in exposed situations. To explain briefly, you think of a song/sound/smell/something else that you connect to a really good memory. An anxiety free memory. Then you pick an action to do, like pinching your earlobe or squeezing your hand into a fist or something like that. Something you don't just do randomly. Then you listen to this song or smell the smell or whatever and do this action at the same time. Really feel the memory and try to bring back what you were feeling at the time and connect it to the action you are doing. Then you can do this action when you're anxious!
sorry, this post got really long but i just related so much haha!

[WoofGirl]

You're post somewhat comforted me. I feel the same exact way. I'm 18 and am going to college online. I've been homeschooled my whole life and I'm pretty much scared of everything. I've never had any "normal" experiences in my life. No sleepovers, no parties, no trips, nothing. It's even hard for me to be around my boyfriend. Please, please, don't let emet run your life. You will regret it, I promise you that. I know I do. *Hugs*