Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is working!

[ginarose]

Hi I'm new here but definitely not new to Emetophobia. Thought I'd share my story and what's in the process of working for me. It started when I was maybe 10 years old- I am now a 33-yr-old mom of 2 boys ages 4 and 1. - I was afraid of being in a space with lots of people because I was afraid someone would v* either near me or on me. It continued through my high school years but then sort of went away when I was in college. Wish I knew how! It came back when I had children, and came back so intensely it affected me every single day and night. I was so terrified of them getting sick, and of course they'd need their mother and how was I going to comfort them when in full panic mode? But of course it did happen (twice so far) and even though I was shaking inside I was able to provide comfort and love when they needed it. It wasn't enough to get me over this fear though, and I began trying to control their environment by excessive hand washing, Lysol, and never letting them touch ANYTHING in public. I also changed careers so I could be home with them instead of sending them to daycare. I couldn't sleep at night because I was constantly listening to any signs they might be sick. If they coughed I'd jump out of bed and check to make sure they weren't going to v*. It is absolutely crippling. Well I had a checkup at my Dr and told her about this phobia I'm experiencing. She immediately got me in touch with one of her nurses who had the exact same fear and got over it through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) at The Anxiety Treatment Center in CT. I made an appointment right away and have had three sessions so far. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know it is working because as we speak my husband has a sv and I am not panicking. I feel worried, and probably more worried than most, but I'm ok. CBT doesn't care why you have the phobia or how it started, they are interested in decreasing the unhealthy way you currently deal with your phobia. They do this through exposure, to habituate you to the exact thing you are afraid of. (In my case forcing me to watch YouTube videos of people v* over and over again until I could watch it without any emotional attachment other than disgust). This is a work in progress but I highly recommend looking into this therapy if other therapies haven't worked for you like they didn't for me. Fingers crossed I hope to update you completely free of this someday...

[transcend6887]

That is great to hear. I am currently seeing a counselor for CBT but I feel she doesn't completely understand what I am going through. That is great that in just three sessions your feeling better. I am definitely sticking to it until I see the right results. Is the exposure part connected to CBT do you know? My counselor didn't seem to know how to work with the exposure part of it.

[jennielouises]

I have had CBT or OCD and emet in the past but I am currently in the waiting list to see another therapist. It seems that CBT is all they offer here! The problem I found it that exposure doesn't decrease my anxiety when it comes to V. It worked with the OCD but not V. I handle seeing the V etc when I am confronted with it and then my anxiety decreases. But the minute I get home it comes back. For example, if I walked past V on the street I would want to change my jeans when I got home. I have managed to continue wearing my jeans all day and the anxiety has started to decrease. I then take them off to go to bed and put them on the side like I normally do with my clothes. At this point my anxiety is lower. Then I go to sleep.

In the morning when it comes to putting my jeans back on the anxiety is right back where it started when I walked past the V. Suddenly I can't put the jeans back on and the spot where they were has become dirty as well. So in the wash they go. Surely CBT won't work if the anxiety just keeps coming back?

[andee]

Hi Ginarose!! OMGosh, I am in CT and going to the SAME place!! Have been since Feb. Have a great therapist and it is helping, although I am now kind of leveling off and really need to keep at it. PM me if you'd like and we can share experiences. I would love to know who you have met there and who is helping you.

[ginarose]

Hmm this is my first experience with CBT so I have nothing to compare it to, but exposing me to these videos was like the first part of my treatment. I think it was our second session. Yesterday he brought me to a pediatrician's office and made me touch all the handles and fixtures in the bathroom, drink from the water fountain, etc. I felt like a major mental patient lol but if it's going to help me get over this I will gladly do it!!

[ginarose]

Hi Ginarose!! OMGosh, I am in CT and going to the SAME place!! Have been since Feb. Have a great therapist and it is helping, although I am now kind of leveling off and really need to keep at it. PM me if you'd like and we can share experiences. I would love to know who you have met there and who is helping you.

Andee I tried to PM you but don't have enough posts yet to do so! That is A crazy coincidence you are going to the same place!!

[andee]

Oh, I will PM you then...thanks.

[ginarose]

**Update: my 4 yr old son was diagnosed with a brain tumor less than 4 months ago. He's got a great prognosis but the tumor is inoperable and they are using chemo to shrink it every week for the next year. Talk about a nightmare on so many levels- my phobia was out of control at first, but this has all put things into perspective for me. I don't think I'll ever be cured, but I have a better handle on this now for sure...

[ginarose]

P.s. I got your pm & wrote a long response but for the same reason I can't send you a reply. I need like 10 posts & I only have 6

[Elie]

my eyes hurt I can't read that gyaa!

[ginarose]

my eyes hurt I can't read that gyaa!

Sorry Elie! Too long/too small?

[Mischief]

I have had CBT or OCD and emet in the past but I am currently in the waiting list to see another therapist. It seems that CBT is all they offer here! The problem I found it that exposure doesn't decrease my anxiety when it comes to V. It worked with the OCD but not V. I handle seeing the V etc when I am confronted with it and then my anxiety decreases. But the minute I get home it comes back. For example, if I walked past V on the street I would want to change my jeans when I got home. I have managed to continue wearing my jeans all day and the anxiety has started to decrease. I then take them off to go to bed and put them on the side like I normally do with my clothes. At this point my anxiety is lower. Then I go to sleep.

In the morning when it comes to putting my jeans back on the anxiety is right back where it started when I walked past the V. Suddenly I can't put the jeans back on and the spot where they were has become dirty as well. So in the wash they go. Surely CBT won't work if the anxiety just keeps coming back?

Hi Jennie, I had CBT a few years ago also in the UK and I found it really hard. I think they rushed me (good old NHS eh) and the therapist was useless. I had anxiety even sitting in the room with the therapist just talking about it as I was worried what they would do. They got me to listen to some tapes of sicky noises, which was really hard but did start lessening the anxiety - but it was just nasty! And boring! Then we watched a fake video of a lady pretending to get sick in a bowl just a tiny bit, then it got worse and worse etc. The therapist was gawking out the window and that part of the tape ended and went onto another bit where a man was pretending (I hope) to get sick in a bucket really loudly and the therapist quickly jumped up to turn it off going Sorry! Sorry! And I said "You MEANT to do that!" and he said no no sorry. I didnt trust him and he was an absolute moron. Im not trying to put you off your own treatment, but I would advise that you make sure youre comfortable with the therapist you get and feel you can trust them, and theyll take it at your own pace. I had councelling a couple of years ago for stress and got a lady that was absolutely wonderful whereas other people ive spoken to have really not got on with their councillors. I do think the therapy helps if you have someone whos actually understanding and not just trying to clock in-clock out each day. Im in a better position in myself to start trying to attempt some therapy of my own with things on tv etc I accidently watched that had a bit of V in it and could possibly cope with, but I keep putting it off!!!! If I tell my boyf thats what I want to do he will encourage it, but im frightened that broaching the subject will make it happen! Eeek!! Im such a wimp! XClareX

[Sippicolada]

This is amazing!! How did you get over being able to sleep and not worrying about your child getting sick at night? I'm really struggling with this.

[andee]

Hi Ginarose, soooo sorry about your son. How is he doing? I am hoping things are better for both you and him now. Please keep us posted and hopefully you can send pm's now. If you would like to chat, I am here anytime...thinking of you!!! Hugs.

[ginarose]

This is amazing!! How did you get over being able to sleep and not worrying about your child getting sick at night? I'm really struggling with this.

It's probably not the most healthy solution but I sleep with ear plugs in! If the children wake up my husband just knocks me with his elbow, I take them out, ask him first if they're ok and go see them. This way I am never woken up by the noise of someone getting sick

[ginarose]

Thanks Andee, he's doing well but we continue having chemo every Wed. I have to take major anti-anxiety meds to get me through both the simple worry of my son's illness and also the day of and days after treatment when he is not feeling well... Trying to find a CBT therapist since mine moved away and then the CT Anx center doesn't accept my insurance anymore. Know of anyone?

[Eloyie]

I could have written this post! I have two young children and I'm on edge constantly! I was completely fine until last November when we all got sick, and my anxiety has been full force again or months. It's exhausting. I can't imagine going through exposure therapy right now. /:

[ginarose]

I could have written this post! I have two young children and I'm on edge constantly! I was completely fine until last November when we all got sick, and my anxiety has been full force again or months. It's exhausting. I can't imagine going through exposure therapy right now. /:

It's really scary. I've stopped going regularly because of my son's illness & feel like I've regressed a bit- I saw someone recently, a dr from Yale, who told me to YouTube the word, then turn the volume down to almost a whisper and walk away so you almost can't hear it. Keep doing that until you can get a little closer without the panic feeling. Eventually you can turn the volume up full force in front of you, and a step after that would be to open your eyes lol to watch it.

[andee]

Hi Ginarose, Yes, I do know of two therapists who could do CBT with you...One I have been going to on and off for quite a while and the other I have also seen and was good as well. If you want to pm me, I could give you their names, etc. Glad you are both okay. Take care!