I can't live this way anymore! Please help!

[BethLouise]

I'm 18 and I've been this way for a long time. I fear the sight and sound and actually vomiting myself. Even seeing someone on tv throwing-up causes my heart to beat at twice its normal rate. It has definitely gotten worse as I've gotten older. I am physically terrified of anything to do with it, whether its myself getting sick or seeing someone else throw-up, even just knowing that someone I know has a virus is enough to make me quarantine myself at home until the panic is over. I constantly live in fear of anyone getting sick. Its actually ruining my relationship too. Saturday night my fiancé was feeling a bit under the whether and I had to ask him to leave. My heart was pounding with the thought of him vomiting in front of me. I fear that this phobia is actually starting to take over my life. My family and friends don't understand it, they'll say I'm overreacting and tell me to stop being such a drama queen, in fact I can't express my worry around distant family members without being called stupid. They have phobias too but say that a phobia of vomit is just silly in general. I don't drink alcohol and always try to avoid people who are drinking it. I don't eat before bed and I constantly worry about food poisoning (bare in mind that I am very underweight and have been seeing a dietician for the past year and a half). I'm not really sure when this fear started or when it got this bad, I've had numerous tragic experiences in life that may have contributed to me being this way.

I can go weeks without having much concern about it and in September I booked a trip to Florida with my fiancé for 2 weeks. We leave in one week from the UK. I haven't given much thought up until recently about getting poorly or seeing anyone else ill with norovirus, and I know that I shouldn't have but I started doing a little research and now I have pretty much terrified myself. I'm a huge Disney fan and have been excited about going to Orlando for months. But now, I don't want to go. I am actually petrified! I have read about a flight that happened in 2008 where the flight had to make and emergency landing because of a tour group with norovirus, one person even soiled themselves in an isle in first class. Because of this numerous people became infected with the virus. We are boarding 3 flights there and 3 back. The first is Newcastle (UK) to Amsterdam which is only around an hour or so long. The second is my main worry from Amsterdam to Atlanta (US) which is approx 9 1/2 hours long! I don't know if I can cope in and enclosed space with people who could possibly be ill for that long. The 3rd flight is to Orlando. They flights are similar/the same returning home. I don't think I'll be able to hack the middle flight. I can't breathe just thinking about it! ='O

I have had no sleep the past few days. I keep having nightmares about it and once I wake up from them, I don't sleep for the rest of the night. I spent all of last night on my bathroom floor crying and holding my stomach and shaking with the fear of vomiting. Most of the time I can't tell whether its psychological and all in my mind or whether I'm genuinely ill. I really do need help!

I haven't been to see any doctors about this so I don't know for sure if it is emetophobia. As I've said, I'm mocked by my friends and family and asking for help could just lead to trouble. I don't see how I even could be helped. I don't think there's anything anyone can say or do to help me. I'm a total mess right now! I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO BE VOMITED ON OR NEAR! It will probably scar me for life. HELP!!

[Cynna]

Getting help is the best thing you can do. Hugs

[jadeshine]

Focus on finding some psychiatrists and therapists that specialize in anxiety and phobias. I was lucky enough to fine two great ones, but I haven't been going long enough to see any results yet, other than the Klonopin for anxiety attacks. But if you keep working at it you can beat this. c:

[BethLouise]

Thank you! I'd never hear the term emotophobia up until recently and didn't know anyone who feels the same way I do. I just wish that people would be more understanding. Whenever I do encounter a situation involving vomit (which isn't often since I tend to avoid things), everything just becomes too overwhelming. I can't think about anything else for weeks after, and my family and friends just sort of laugh and accuse me of acting crazy or over dramatic. I only joined this site today as up until this morning, I didn't know it existed.
Yesterday I just really scared thinking about getting on a plane. I got myself really worked up about it and with no one to turn to and not knowing about this site I posted a Facebook status:

"You're all going to think I'm weird here, but I'm actually terrified of getting the plane to Florida. Not because I hate heights, sitting still for too long, get bored, or hate flying, but because I am scared of catching a virus on board. I've bought Dettol wipes, anti-viral hand foam and I'm even considering buying dust masks! God help me."

And the response I received from my aunt was:

"Beth, I'm sorry but I think you're being silly! You're not going to catch germs on a plane anymore than you would anywhere else. Best not fly then. Infact, you might as well never leave the house again! I'd be more concerned about bad turbulance or worse! Engine failure, terrorist attack.....bet you're not worried about getting a little sick bug now"

[jadeshine]

I know, I felt so much better when I found out there was a name for it and so many other people suffered it in the world too. For a long time I just thought I was crazy! But it's a very real phobia for us. Of course many non-emets are going to pull all of those cards, but I'm sure you'll find somebody one day to understand! I got very lucky with my partner. She is 100% there for me and knows how real and scary it is for me. Good luck in your journey!