How I got over my phobia...

[TinaP]

For me, it took my husband and I planning on a second child that caused me to look into getting cognitive behavioral therapy for my phobia. I have GAD that I knew fed the phobia to begin with and even though I have my master's degree in clinical social work where we learn about this stuff in detail, I could not apply it to my life. I kept thinking my book-learning would do it but it didn't so I decided that a baby spitting up and throwing up would be a nightmare like it was with my first child and I didn't want to do that again or not give my future baby the attention she deserved because the phobia ruled my mind and all that I did.

So, I started the therapy...and she was good, very tough and made me do homework after each session. There was hypnotherapy involved, CD copies of one or two sessions provided to me so I could do the meditation at home, some journaling, and there was alot of detailed describing of my greatest fears. It was HARD WORK.

There were times when I would rebel, not do the homework, make some excuse like I didn't have time or not feeling good but she didn't let me slip and she persisted and held me accountable (if ur therapist does not do that, find one that will because we subconsiously will subtly fight the therapy as a natural defense mechanism). A barrier to my success would be discovered at these moments and then I'd move forward more once we got over the barrier. But we'd work through it and she did it in a calm, reassuring but stern manner and I allowed myself to trust her experience and knowledge in her field.

Good advice I can give is when you feel like quitting, that's when you're about to make a break through and if you keep moving forward you'll make it!!

Desensitization was a main part of the therapy. Homework included watching movies that had horrible vomit scenes over and over, rewind, rewind until I went from crying and wanting to run out of the room to being able to breathe through it and get past the feeling threatened part. You really do reprogram your brain and how it sees something that is NOT a real threat as a threat.

When I was 3 months pregnant and still going through the therapy (it took several months of weekly and sometimes bi-weekly sessions to get rid of it) I had severe nausea during my 3rd month of pregnancy--and that was when the phobia smacked me in my face. I was so glad to already be in therapy because it motivated me that once that month of what seemed like hell was over, that I would NEVER go through that again with so much fear. I hated what the phobia did to me SO much during that month I swore I was giving therapy everything I had--I refused to let it control me.

The irony, and the thought that convinced me to go through therapy no matter how scary it would be was that I was a control freak in general in my life YET the irrational fear of vomiting, a natural human function of the body, was RULING AND CONTROLLING my life. And I vowed that no twisted concept would be ruling me anymore and taking my joy out of life, my time with my family and my limits on life.

So, in the end it was a tough therapist that gave me specific homework, my giving it my best no matter how terrified I was in order to become free. And here I am. This happened in 2006 and every once in a while when watching a movie with vomit scenes I'll rewind it several times as a reminder that I am definitely the one in control of this far-gone fear. I had had it since the age of 5 (when I was unexpectedly thrown up on by another kid) and at the age of 30 I had the courage and resources to finally get it off my back for good.

For anyone reading this, I encourage you to take those steps you need to take to break free from fear. I promise you, once you get INTO the fear, look it in its eyes, you'll see how its just that--a fear, and an irrational and unnecessary fear--definitely one you can then throw to the side and announce to the world that you don't allow yourself to live with it anymore. Do it. It will FREE you....I promise.
Much love and encouragement,
Tina

[Fear Is Not An Option]

The irony....... I was a control freak in general in my life YET the irrational fear of vomiting, a natural human function of the body, was RULING AND CONTROLLING my life

SO TRUE! Well said. I have to keep this in mind.

Tina, thank you so much for your post. Sharing your recovery story has really inspired me. You give me hope that maybe I too can move past this fear and start living life on MY terms.

[sage]

Tina, what a wonderful post! Thank you so much. This will be SUCH an inspiration to so many people.

No offense but I put in some paragraphs to make it easier for people to read - lol.

[Cupcake x]

This was a great post to read! I have been working with a CBT therapist but gave up for awhile. This gave me the inspiration to not give up and to look for a new therapist who can help me.

While sometimes I think of myself as semi-recovered, I am also going through a time right now where I feel ready to just throw my hands up and say "I'M DONE FIGHTING WITH YOU! YOU WIN EMET!" But I realize that I can't do that. I need my life back to what it used to be so I can enjoy what I have left of my younger years as well as enjoy raising my daughter.

[derm_st]

I have been through all those therapies but everytime I am exposed,...I get worse fear than before. Why does it not work for me?? What am I doing wrong??

[emilyjane]

I have just tried CBT and my fear is as awful as ever but reading your post has made me realise my therapist was not tough enough and I got out of really seeing anything I could not handle am determind to go back and do it properly, thank you for your post, it keeps me hopeful that i can do this.

[KelleighNicole]

Very inspiring post, it's posts like this that really make me realize what I am missing out on simply by being so afraid. Thank you.

[kbscared]

Wow, thank you for sharing your success story. It's so uplifting and inspiring to want to fight this....Congrats to you.... I wish you and your family much happiness.

[geckohouse]

Yes overcoming emetophobia is no easy task.
You really put in the hours and the effort and it great to see you get the results.
As you had GAD I'd also suggest you book in once a year with your therapist. It is a bit like a dentist check-up). You can tell her just how awesome you still are or tell her about any anxiety symptoms creeping back in.
Having clients come in and say how well they are doing is a great reward for a therapist.

[fixxxer2012]

Great post, i wish you the best. I wish i could afford a therepist. What are the options for low income people without insurance?

[ballykissangel]

Congratulations! Wishing you all the best.

[imagine_grace]

Thank you so much for your post! I chose to read it on a night when I am not doing so great. It was an amazing feeling to see that someone had beaten it! Your honesty and frankness is refreshing. Thank you!

[Cupcake x]

Rereading this really inspires me to work as hard as I can on getting better. Thank you again for writing this post!

[laitka]

Thanks so much for your post, Tina. Your words are so inspiring they nearly brought me to tears.

[Erica1649]

I'm proud of you!! Thats amazing!

[Elski]

Love it!! It must feel wonderful to be free of this phobia!

[missbarbie]

I did a bit of CBT im not cured at all i would say but it has helped it has made me realise people arent sick in all situations and to look at things logically and positively. I had to watch clips on you tube etc and listen to sounds of people being you know what. I mean now if my boyfriend has had a view drinks and could be s* i still sleep in the same room as him i never used to do this i would go home and stay well away. Now i think well whats the worst that could happen ill hear him and what will happen NOTHING. I mean yes i still kind of freak out and i think if it was anyone else i would run a mile but i know one day i will get there and i will be able to sit and hold someones hair and not care one bit because its nothing its only s*. POSITIVE THINKING

[wob41]

thank you very much for the post very encouraging I feel like I got to the stage I can handle myself throwing up but not in public or others I hope with therapy I will get to your stage soon!