Hi all
So I've noticed that all my posts seem to be panic posts etc etc, and I thought maybe I should focus on some of the good things that have happened recently.
After 18 months of being home educated because of my emet, I've had to go back to school full time because of my GSCE's now I'm in year 10. I was pretty nervous the night before I left.. I was scared that I'd be so scared I'm make myself v*! But in the end, I was pretty relaxed in the morning, I had a sort of 'Pfft, couldn't care less' attitude and I spent the whole day at school.
It's been about 3 weeks since then, and every day but one I have spent at least 4 out of the 5 lessons at school. I even managed PE Thursday, which surprised me.
I've had some really nasty panic attacks since being back, ones which made me think I was going to v*, faint and well.. I honestly had no idea. I've developed over the last year a fear of fainting and a fear of getting d*. Luckily I don't have IBS (I generally get d* once every 4 years or so!) and I've never fainted. I'm sort of realizing that all of my phobias are embarassing/disgusting things.
It's quite interesting, but I, (afterwards, obviously), quite enjoy having the adrenaline rush of a panic attack. I think that's really odd. When it's happening, of course I am scared ****less, but it's still quite 'fun'. Odd?
Anyway, I think the last month has mainly been a success, so, I wanted to post that ^.^
Thoughts?
Claire x