It happened!!!!

[RachelNemo]

Okay, so I finally went to my GI appointment and my doctor diagnosed me with Functional Dyspepsia, which means that the nerves in my stomach are too sensitive and don't work right. Technically there's nothing I can do except take the current medication I am on for my nausea and heartburn, but I at least know what it is.

Now there is this bug that's been going around my school. 24 hour flu I think it is and I've been scared to death because people have been getting it for the past few weeks and I guess the virus lives for a long time Unfortunately, just a couple nights ago, I went to bed with a stomach ache and thought it was just my Dyspepsia, until I woke up at 2 AM with bad stomach cramps, nausea, and other tummy troubles. I woke my mom up because I was really worried that I was going to be sick and part of my emetophobia is that I'm scared to be alone when I'm sick like that.

And then, the worst happened. I did throw up. I was so scared because nothing came up at first, but then it did after a couple minutes. It hurt pretty bad because my esophagus is also tighter at one point. I was freaked out, but also happy. My stomach felt so much better. But then I realized I was going to do it again. I know I wasn't serious, but I even briefly considered suicide because I wanted it to be done. I was far from done. I did it about 5 more times, and then I had a fever of 103. Luckily, it didn't last as long as my previous vomiting episodes where I literally can't stop and then I can't breathe.

After that experience, I'm not sure if it is because it was so recent, but I don't feel scared really. If I had to do it again, sure I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could do it and be brave about it. Maybe even be alone. I honestly think that this is the first time doing it that wasn't a traumatizing experience. Of course the last time was 5 years ago, but nevertheless, I am actually really proud of myself. I realize that throwing up isn't the worst thing that can happen, even though with my phobia, it can seem like it sometimes. You just have to keep thinking that it'll be over soon enough, and that when it's done you'll feel much better.

Also, now that I know what my stomach problem is that's been causing me to feel so bad randomly, I can sort of deal with it better. I am pretty happy now despite all that's happened.

[stefanie]

wow! Good for you hon! You did great!!!! You should be really proud of yourself for getting through it so well. I had a similar experience years ago the last time I v* I was very scared but after it happend I was like...aww it's not so bad, not great or fun but not as bad as I was making it out to be. Sadly time took over and now I'm going through my sever emeto again.

I'm glad that you are feeling better you did great!!!!!!!

[asianeko]

I'm glad you did so well! Try to keep that feeling fresh in your mind, that it wasn't as horrid as you thought, and that you survived!!

[KaydeeJayde]

Remember, no-one finds vomiting fun or comfortable or anything. My CBT therapist says that one of the most important thing for us emets to remember is that our reaction isn't all that different to a 'normal' persons reaction to vomiting in essence, it's just a LOT more intense and irrational. Congratulations on getting through it so well! You must be really proud of yourself and you definitely should be. What a huge step forward!

[Whatshername]

So proud for you I hope i'm that brave.

[AnnamarieZTA]

I am jealous of your courage! Congratulations on being so brave and showing us how it isn't so bad! I hope you are feeling better!

[falseadvertise]

Sometimes i think if i was just able to vomit i would feel the same way. Perhaps that it was not the best thing ever but wasnt the worst either. Is hard to get to that point though because i know it will be the hardest thing i have ever done. In an upside down way i am slightly jealous. i was feeling ill a few weeks ago i think as a result of cold medicing and an empty stomach. i was at the point where i thouht i would be sick but never was. i wanted to but couldnt bring myself to do it. i have never been to the point where i was uncontrollable. we will see what happens