Ive been at uni for two months now and I was always scared before that I would struggle having this phobia while I was here. But when I first came I still threw myself into everything. Met loads of people, went out a lot and tried to have fun but it was still in my mind.
After a few weeks, as I expected, lots of students started getting really drunk and being sick and you couldn't go out the door without seeing it. But I still tried being strong and just looking past it, trying to forget it and carry on.
The more lectures I had the more I got more worked up about being in them and started to panic and feel trapped whenever i went. And with this I then got nervous in the morning whenever I had to go in to go to a lecture because I new I would panic about being sick even though I really knew I felt fine.
More recently I started getting really bad panic attacks so I went home to escape, but then I started having them at home too because I was scared to go back and would just wake up in a panic.
I still felt that I could escape though because my flat mates would go out and drink but none would be sick. And even though they didn't understand my phobia and would still joke about being sick and stuff in front of me I could deal with it. But then my boyfriend drunk too much and mixed drinks. He knows how I get with my phobia and I told him i was scared and thought he would be sick and he said he was sure he would be fine. He was in my room and suddenly run out and was sick in his room, right next to mine and I could hear it and couldn't escape. Now I can't cope anymore as no one here understands and really doesn't get how bad it messes me up. I have seen a doctor but she couldn't help me.
Right now i really can't cope being here. I can't live with my flat mates or my boyfriend or be around anyone. I just want to go home and quit uni but really, the real me that thinks logically would like to succeed and get the career I have always dreamt of. What should I do?