new therapist

[lizard79]

i've been to my new therapist about 4 times now. he prescribed klonopin which works wonders for my general anxiety (though it gives me freaky dreams and bad sleep)


he also seems to think that i've focused my anxiety on not v* for in order to be able to control things i can't control. we know i have control issues, but he seems to want me to have other issues and keeps pushing me to find more, but i can't. i have been thinking about this for so long since he's put these ideas in my head and i'm really just scared of getting sick. with the klonopin, i only get freaked out when my stomach feels off. so i don't know what to do.


he's also been telling me to do deep breathing which i HATE and think is a bunch of crap.


he wants to put me on zoloft but i told him i was way too scared to deal with that.


i also asked him what i should do when i do feel sick...he said to take the klonopin and breathe through it. i don't like that. there has to be some other way. he's just glossing over my real problem, the PHOBIA, like everyone else does. i HATE IT.


sage, got any advice for this situation? i am fed up. am going to see him again on monday and will give him a piece of my mind.

[Jenneh]

hey, my therapist sounds kinda like yours....


she sed that my phobia has no backgriund to it, other than cos of the past i had, im a controll freak. so u may feel abit angered tht ur therapist isnt really paying attention to ur phobia... but they're quite likely to be right!!!


breathing is another thing my social worker has been hot on.i find therapists lke that dont actually know how to CURE ur phobia; so they try and make it so that u can CONTROL it wen something does happen.


Jen xxxxxxxxxxxx

[sage]

I went through this sort of thing with 10 therapists before I found one who would really listen to me. It IS frustrating.


Now that I'm older and wiser, I might have talked more with the therapists I dumped out of frustration. I think even once I found the guy I liked so much, I had to DRILL IT into his head a) that the phobia was the worst problem I have and b) HOW BAD it really was. It took about 5 months of going weekly (20 hours) before I think I believed he really understood me. He kept talking about shame...bla bla bla...all the while I was thinking "if you just cured the phobia - I'd have nothing to be ashamed of...". Then he prattled on about control issues, my mother - GEEZ - every session ended up about my mother somehow. But I hung in there and DRILLED and DRILLED, and eventually he got it. ALSO - and I do have to emphasize this - he was still absolutely right about shame, control and my mother. I just wasn't ready to hear it or deal with it yet. Once we started to actively work on the phobia (EMDR, exposure, etc.) I was able to talk more about these other things and relate the phobia to them.


Now the work I do exclusively focusses on these sorts of issues - because I realize that the phobia was just a "neat" way of sort of concentrating my core neuroses into one thing. Curing the symptoms of the phobia did not "cure" my core neuroses (which for me - everyone's different - was stuff like: "I am worthless - I am vomit" "if I vomit no one will ever love me - cuz I'm not lovable" "if I vomit no one will care" "if someone else is sick even if I am too I will have to look after them" "if I'm sick I can't turn to others for help"...stuff like that) Anyway, it's interesting psychology.


But giving your therapist a piece of your mind is sort of the right idea. I realize now in my old age that we have to patient, even with them though.


Good luck!

[lizard79]

thanks! yeah, i know he's probably very right about me focusing other things into the vomiting thing. BUT i think that if we worked on the phobia first, i would get better so much faster.


it makes me feel like he doesn't care just like all the other ones now.


oh and he's fishing for separation anxiety.... but i never really had problems with that and i've told him so. i don't really think that has anything to do with this directly anyway.


i think it mainly has to do with control. and it does NO GOOD for him to tell me over and over that i can't control the world. NO $hi+!!!!!! i already know that. that and you can't stop bad things from happening. just this year alone, two close relatives died, my parents' 18 year old cat was put to sleep, i've gotten sick, one of my best friends is getting divorced and is moving away and right now i have basically no money.


HE DOESN'T need to tell me things that i already know!!!!!





ugh. need to beat him some more.


he's CUTE though, so that helps the sessions. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[sage]

Good reflections, liz! I remember yelling this at my therapist (the one who successfully treated me): YOU'RE TELLING THIS TO THE WRONG PART OF MY BRAIN!...lol that worked, finally. Cuz he knew I was right. We can understand something perfectly from a logical perspective cuz that's our neocortex working. But try telling our amygdala (centre for fear, and memory) there's nothing to be afraid of...or we can't control the world...or whatever. That's the challenge of the therapist - to get the message through to the amygdala, so we no longer have fear.


Again, if you can, keep talking to him. Tell him it seems like he doesn't care. Most therapists would be horrified that they've come across that way, and don't intend to. But honestly, work on the relationship - because that's the source of your healing.