i cant take anymore

[mystikal star]

I've had all I can take with emet. It's ruining my life. I'm getting to the point where I'm scared to leave the house again. So on Thursday I will be alone day and night, although my cousin will be over with me to check in on me. But anyways, I'm going to have some icecream and I'm going to make myself sick. It may not work, but I have to think that it MAY work. I'm not going to use ipecac or anything--just my fingers. I'm nuts aren't I? But I HAVE To try to over come this. Nothing else is working....

[mbs730]

I know how you are feeling, I really do. I tried using
my fingers and I couldnt accomplish anything other than gagging. I am
thinking of using ipecac myself because I'm sick of it too.



Miriam

</font>

[sarahx]

Are you sure thats a good idea? apart from anything sticking ur fingers down ur throat may damage ur throat! There are ways to beat this (((hugs)))


I know things seem bad, trust me right now i feel like i would quite gladly kill if it meant i was free of emet.


Im online if u wanna chat on msn


[email protected]


Sarah xxx

[mystikal star]

I could never try ipecac--probably because I'm very scared of actually succeeding. With my fingers I could stop if I felt overwhelmed, but once the ipecac is in me then there is no turning back. Perhaps thats what I need though. I dont know....[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

Thats why it didnt work with my fingers. I gagged and
panicked and took them right out. However with the ipecac, yeah thats
right there is no turning back. I am scared to try it but I am sick of
it too, believe me. I havent v'ed, sober that is for almost 16 years.
Maybe if I do it again I can have an easier time being around others if
they are sick. I dont know, f* I have no idea anymore.



Miriam

</font>

[sarahx]

Guys i hate to say this but i dont think making urself v* will work? I v*et last year and when i realised i was actually gonna v* i though oh god maybe this is what i need and afterwards i was still scared it might happen again. It just didnt change anything???? Maybe thats just me tho? i dont know...?


Have u looked at what i posted in the treatment thread... a really good website, www.nopanic.org.uk its fabulous! They can help... they do allsorts of treatments etc...


Sarah xxxEdited by: sarahx

[mbs730]

I dont know, all I know is that I am sick of this too. I
am so tempted to run to the pharmacy and buy myself a bottle of ipecac
syrup!



Miriam

</font>

[mystikal star]

I'm tempted to induce v-ing too. I need more time to think about it. Perhaps I'll talk with my counselor and see what she thinks. Counseling hasn't worked for my phobia (only depression) so maybe actually doing the deed will. Me not know anymore. Tee hee.

[mbs730]

Thats what I think too, let me know what she says.</font>

[mystikal star]

I see her again on Monday. I meant to ask today but forgot. I will definitely let you know what she says. Take care.

[hippychick]

I don't think it will work


Sorry but I don't, every person is different though, I guess it depends on your cause of emet, but even still. I know people who are emets who have induced V*...These people are still emets. Its an anxiety disorder you have high levels of anxiety, suddenly V* probably wont reduce this. It may even traumatise you more. I'm not an expert though I just go by what emets have said after V*


Even when I knew i couldn't V* cos i was on tablets, i still was very very anxious it just started to manifest itself in different ways.


I'd seek a lot of professional opinion on this and even then I'd think carefully.

[Eternity]

I admire the guts itd take to do that.. cuz.. I couldnt. Not even when I was terribly ill n in agony. I could never bring myself to swallow something I knew would hurt me, either, although Ive read of emets taking a double dose of a emetic drug n eating n still not being sick.


As to whether it will help. Tis hard to say. Ya must notice that most emets who experience being sick while theyre here dont say 'oh its all I needed to happen, Im completely (or even mostly) cured now'. A few people say it made them worse. Most that it had little or no long term effect on the phobia.. because, I suppose the phobia is more deep seated than that by now, it must be, otherwise it could not have this kinda effect on us.
If you really want to try it, if YOU think it will help, then try... emetics are probly better than stickin your fingers down your throat, but I can see why youd rather do that, n it isnt generally that dangerous if its only a one off. In the end I guess everyones different, n you must try whatever You yourself think will make you feel better.

[youngemet222]

I know how you feel. Sometimes, I'm just tempted to force myself to vomit, so maybe it would cure emetophobia.


Okay....I wouldn't take ipecac because, it might not cure you and you might be making your emetophobia worse becuase I have read this story of an emet who used ipecac.... It didn't cure her. Also, I think that ipecac causes quite forceful vomiting, but I'm probably wrong on this.


Anyways, and DO NOT STICK YOUR FINGERS DOWN YOUR THROAT OR PRESS ON YOUR UVULA (I'm not yelling or fighting by typing in caps....I'm just saying that it is important that you not do this). This can damage your throat, and it also may not cure you. Also, even if you do that, it might be that the stomach contents may not even come up! Also, I think I have read a thing from a bulimic that when they do it, all of the food may not even come up. It may not taste like vomit becuase, if the only thing that "decides" tocome up is the ice cream, if you do it soon after eating, it probably hasn't had time to get to your stomach and get all the acids in it.So, ifyou are afraid of the taste of vomit, that may not work. And, if nausea isone thing you are very afraid of, you wouldn't get nausea with sticking your fingers down, becuase it causes gagging and then it just comes up.


Now, forthe reasons I mentioned above, like why doing the sticking fingers down thing mightnot work, with ipecac, I think you would get the nausea and the taste, so it might be better to help you, but since it causes people to do it multiple times, usually, it may beworse than stcking the fingers. BUT I STRONGLYdiscouage you doing any of these because you may end up regretting it. See, the only real reason someone should use ipecac or stick their fingers down, is if they swallowed poison. But it is very important that they do this if they are advised to do so by the poison center. But.... you can do what you want to do, but it may make your emet worse. Now, I AM NO EXPERT, so if some of the things I say may seem a little incorrect, I apoligize.... since I have never done the thing that bulimics do, I am not sure if it would taste like vomit or not, but I just think it wouldn't, unless it all comes up. I'm sorry this fear ruins life. Go away Emet Monster, go away!!! [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]


So, take care.


Lizzy.

[mystikal star]

I've taken Ipecac syrup before. When I was young I drank a whole bottle of cough syrup and my mom took me to the ER. They gave me a small cupof HORRIBLE stuff. Ipecac. The whole expirence was horrific. Yuck

[terified girl]

What is Ipecac??????

[harmonygirl72]

A gross syrup that makes you puke!! It's for if you eat poison or whatever!

[mbs730]

Well the ipecac is probably what had caused my emet
although its really hard to say. My grandparents were visiting when I
was 4 and my grandfather had a heart condition, he accidentally left
his heart medication on the kitchen table. So I took the medicine
thinking it was candy but was horrified by the bitter taste so I told
my mother that "the candy tasted bad", she got scared and knew what I
had taken, she took me to the bathroom and started sticking her fingers
down my throat but I kept on biting her. Then she called the hospital
and told them what had happened, took me down and they gave me the
ipecac. I v'ed so much from it I was dry heaving! However I just want
this f*n phobia to disappear! I thought if I would try taking ipecac
too, I might be at peace for what had happened and maybe at an older
age I might know its not as bad as I fear... I dunno. I really dont
know. I just wish this didnt happen. I am crazy for thinking about
taking that stuff again since it was more than likely the cause of my
emet. I dunno anymore. I give up.



Miriam

</font>

[pink_flamingo]

I have V*d since Ive had emit and its only made things worse. Do you really thing V*ing is going to help? What if it just makes you more panicky [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[mystikal star]

I think if it makes me more panicky then oh well. Atleast I tried. How can I not try when there is a SMALL chance that it may help? I dont know what to do. My mind still isn't made up. This reflux problem is helping in a way. Having stuff come up into my throat used to horrify me. It still does but it isn't as severe. That one night though it came far up and I just about gagged. Maybe now I need more incidents and then I'll be used to the gagging. And then maybe one day I'll v and be over it. I think too much. I'll always fear v and I need to just live with that. But I dont want to. I dont want to fear this anymore!!!

[mbs730]

Oh honey I dont want to fear this anymore either,
believe me but I am still tittering on the idea... to v or not to v,
that is the question. I regurgitate a lot because of the GERD but that
ISNT v'ing. Believe me its not. I dont know anymore.



Miriam

</font>

[mystikal star]

What is regurgitating? Like what exactly happens you do it from your GERD?

[mbs730]

a little comes into your throat but it goes back down. Its not the same as v and you are not n when you regurgitate.



Miriam

</font>

[mystikal star]

Strange because when stuff comes into my throat I get very nauseated. Wonder why.....panic maybe?

[youngemet222]

Well, last year, I did something that must have been vomiting then. Like, I thought it was just regurgitation becuase it didn't taste like vomit or smell like it. Maybe I had acid reflux and that's what I was feeling in my midsection area. I thought it was nausea, but I don't know. Whatever it was, my mid section felt horrible. Oh well.

[sbias]

I feel for Pink , I really do, I am gonna explain this to everyone in here and hope it helps, I feel like in a controlled situation, an Emet would go ballistic cause they know it was coming. When I got sick, I was on the couch lying on my back and thought I was having a mild emet attack, my wife was in the floor playing Mario Sunshine. My head was blaring, but that was from the illness I had.


I sat up to come in here and post about my sickness, and how I wasstarting an emet attack, when boom it happened. On the floor at my feet, my first reaction in my mind was "HOLY S*** I justAHHHHHH!" I looked at my wife and hurried to the bathroom, boom it happened again. My wife comes running in the room ready for the worst. I turn and look at her and say "Thats it?"I was so scared. I was so afraid for so long. What I would fight for hours was over in less than a minute, it wasn't painful, not really, not as bad as my stomach flying off in knots. Now I won't lie and I said this a lot, I had a horrid taste in my mouth, but a brush, and a rinse later and it was gone.


Happened again that night, and to be honest I was scared! I was scared after it happened the first time that it would keep happening, by the time day two rolled around I had a little bucket with me would eat toast and boom it would happen but by the it was an annoyance , not a fear. so yes I believe getting sick DOES help an emet, IN SOME CASES!!!!! One that is ready to take that step.

[sarahx]

I think you are right stephen... it just depends on that person. I was sick last year and afterwards i thought, well that wasnt so bad... but yet im still petrified of v*ing? Sometimes i think im more scared of feeling sick than being sick? does that even make sense? And i know i fear others v*ing just as much, if not more. So this fear for me will probably never go away :'(


Sarah xxx

[faith-marilyn]

Hi hippychick, what meds were u on which meant you couldn't v*? im thinking about using these for a while until im not as depressed, just so i can get myself back on some sort of track !
love always
faith-m )
xxx

[faith-marilyn]

About 3 weeks ago i made myself gag and heave 3 or 4 times over a few days to try and cure my emet - at the time i remember thinking 'that wasnt bad atall' an i actually felt really pleased with myself an thought i was half way there, my agoraphobia went...for a week. Now im jsut as scared as I was aboout being sick, and i cant work out why, i keep telling myself im not scared anymore, because ive proved to myself that im not scared, but for some reason...i still am. Getting rid of emet takes a lot more than forcing yourself to be sick, its a psychological problem that needs reversing, v*ing wont reverse this, not unless you keep on doing it, which is very much a health risk.
However this is only my opinion, if u feel as tho u can make urself throw up and stay positive about the results, then i have very much respect for you! Altho it didnt work for me (
Love always,
faith-marilyn
xxxx

[skon]

I think before anyone thinks about using ipecac, they should read an account of what happened to a person who tried it..I think it's on the gut reaction site.


Ipecac won't guarantee you'll throw up..If you have enough control over it due to fear, then you'll just have a hell of a time with it, and will just end up feeling sick and panic for a day or so.


Large doses of warm chamomile infusion will cause vomiting, and probably won't feel as bad as ipecac. Salt water works too..Ipecac isn't fun at all.

[2jo2]

I think also that when you use ipecac, that it's not the true stomach bug experience that I think we all have at the root of our fear.... I know I have a fear of not only v* but with the things leading up to it, nausea for what seems like forever, not being able to move or you'll v* feeling, and all that. I've read the account of the emet who'd tried ipecac and it didn't work, she panicked worse and didn't v*. Isn't there some other way to try? I could never do it in a million years, so I have great admiration for you who are considering this.