I HATE THIS EMET MORE THAN EVER NOW!

[mbs730]

This emet is nothing but a damn nightmare! I had a v
dream last night and dont have them very often. I woke up feeling sick
as a result and started fighting with my husband, my kids were getting
on my nerves. It was hot outside and nothing was open because of it
being Labour Day. We did resolve things but after dinner my daughter
stuck something deep into her mouth and started gagging and it really
sounded like she was going to v. It didnt happen but I ran out like a
speeding bullet. I was shaking for a while even after the episode had
ended. My husband said to me that its going to happen at some time and
there is nothing I can do to avoid it and since he hasnt really been in
my good books today I told him not to push me. That right there ended
but.... this emet is horrible. My daughter is shy and doesnt socialize
very often all because of my emet. I take her to programs while I am
with her but I could NEVER take her to daycare.After the programs are
over I scrub up her hands like anything. The worst that has happened
from these is that she has caught a cold. That is not a big deal but
the big sv is. Eventually she will have to go to school. My emet is
preventing her from blossoming like she should but I just cant do it!!!
I'm going to be the same way with my son too. I hate this emet. The
thought of sending my kids ANYWHERE frightens the crap out of me. Even
if one of them were to be sick and my husband did clean up after them
each time that still wouldnt make a difference. Just KNOWING that they
had v'ed would be enough for me. I cant deal with it. Sometimes I
wonder if I made a mistake by having kids in the first place because v
with kids is inevitable and if I cant deal with it then what good is
that going to be for them??? I know I have to deal with this at some
point but the thought of honestly tackling this and exposure therapy
frightens me more than anything. Its a miracle if they dont
become emets! I hate this so much.



Miriam

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[pink_flamingo]

Dont feel bad! your kids are not going to suffer! I think its better that kids not be over scheduled and just have some time to hang out at home. I never was social until I started school. I turned out fine.I doubt they will become emets. If they do, dont blame yourself. Its not like you are choosing any of this.

[giff1949]

Miriam,

I know just how you feel about your kids. I want to reassure you that children of emets don't necessarily end up with the phobia. I have 2 children who are now adults (27 and 24). They are as normal as they come. I just recently, on the advice of my therapist, told them that I have this phobia. I had somehow hidden it from them all these years.

I remember when they were small I never let them go anywhere without first making sure they were not going to be around any children who had been sick. When school finally came (and I had no choice), I worried literally all day long. The panic and worry never stopped. But I was very nurturing to them in every other way, so they never really knew or were concerned that I had trouble taking care of them when they were sick. And of course they never were aware of how much I worried about it.

I did not know that ANY other people suffered from emetophobia until I found this site six months ago, so I had no one to talk to about it. I just thought I was completely odd and crazy.

When I told my children about the phobia they acted like it was no big deal, said they were never affected by it, and in no way had a fear of V... My son is a father and he takes care of his son all the time and thinks nothing of it.

Your kids will probably be fine, especially if you are loving and nurturing to them in all other ways. While they are young maybe you could get some counseling to help deal with emet. If that is not possible, there are lots of young moms on this site who may be able to help you out with some coping skills they have found. I would be glad to talk to you anytime too.

Take care. I know it is tough!</font>

[mbs730]

Thanks Debbie. I know they always talk about exposure
therapy but I cant do that right now. The thought of doing that just
frightens me more than anything. Fotunately this time nothing happened
but there will definitely will be a next time. Uggh.



Miriam

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[sbias]

Miriam,


When I finally got angry and said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH is when I made the change. It's scary when you get so damned mad, that you want to stop it all. Because that is when the emet fights back. The same night I made a decision to fight, is the same night that my emet came at me viciously, I got angry, and finally said to myself "Well hell JUST BRING IT." If I am gonna get sick, I am gonna get sick, and thats that. No more worries, no more tears, no more pacing, NO MORE FEAR.


I went and knelt down in the bathroom, and said outloud, "Ok F@#! you bring it." I wasn't afraid, I was ready. I said if I get sick right now, I am gonna do it, brush my nasty mouth, kiss my sleeping son, and go to bed! I burped, felt a small rush, and then guess what!!! Nothing... Attack over. I slept like a child.


I still have problems seeing it, on film, or looking at photos, and if someone else does it OH BOY... but you know what, I now believe I can go be ill, and take it. Thats the secret to know in your mind, I can be ill, and it's no big deal. I had to force myself to believe that, the same way we force ourselves to fight when the emet comes not to be sick.


The final step I have to take, and it is the big one. Stomach flu runs rampant in West Virginia during the winter months, I WILL NOT AVOID it this year. No more work, home, wash hands, wash hands again, scrub hands, repeat, eat light. I have to be able to see it happen, to listen to someone say Man I just got sick... I hate Burger King. Without flipping out. I hope you can find what helped you, but getting angry sure as fire helped me.


Love,


Stephen

[Jenneh]

i feel for you Miriam -- lke i feel for every single one of us on this site right now. sounds lke we all hav our fair share of depression.


i dont know wot to say about ur kids -- not having children myself im not xactly an expert on that situation -- but all yoiu can do is ur best. whatever happens, it happens, most of it is out of ur control. thats not necessarily smthing to be scared of, as its the sme for every human on earth.


i hope ur feeling a bit better now, at least.


Jen xxxxxxxxx

[faliraki]

Miriam,


I really feel for you too. I have 2 kids (7 and 3) and my husband has to deal with all the nasties. I too don't take them out much and consequently my eldest doesn't like eating out, I worry that I will pass emet on to him but always try to hide it from them.


My eldest and my husband both got ill last christmas and guess what, I dealt with it, I'm not saying I was perfect but I got through it, and so will you if the time comes, you have to because your children rely on you.


Please take care and we are all here for you.

[mbs730]

I know I stopped thinking about this a while ago but I
am starting to think again. Now this sounds nuts and this scares me and
you are going to think I am crazy here but I think in order for me to
accept others being ill around me, I have to be the one to get sick
first. Maybe if I experience it again I might have an easier time with
others being sick around me. I tried gagging myself before but that
didnt do a thing. I am once again considering the ipecac route. I know
that is crazy I guess I am crazy lol but I feel that this is the only
way I can accept others being ill. I know its nuts, it is so nuts but I
dont know what else to think. I just hate this damn emet, I am so
confused its not even funny. Everything has been better today but a
scare and the real thing is going to happen again.



Miriam

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[mbs730]

Yep I think I am going to run to the pharmacy and buy
some ipecac. I guess you have to ask for it, I dunno. I am just TIRED
of this. Maybe I can deal with others being sick better if I do it
myself again. I dunno.



Miriam

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