Uggh what do I do?

[mbs730]

I just found out today that 2 weeks from Sunday my
grandmother who resides in Florida will be coming up to visit us and my
parents will provide a lunch. I mean that is fine but what isnt fine is
that my SIL who I cannot stand will be there and probably be v'ing from
morning sickness and I cannot deal with that. I know she is a drama
queen and all and she is the type that would announce to everyone about
how sick she is. I cant listen to that, whether its played up or not.
My mother had to gently break the news to me knowing how I feel about
my SIL but again she said "if she v's remember she wont be doing it
around you" I just shook my head, more of a motivating factor for me to
write up the speech but I think I am going to need more than 2 weeks to
plan something that will make them all wake up. I mean I am DEFINITELY
going to do this at some point. Especially after the feedback I got
from many of you. Very much appreciated btw Besides I dont
know how much my grandmother will absorb. Even though she has lived in
the US for a while, her English is not good since she is from Estonia.
I dont see her very often anyway. So I dont know what to do. I'm so
scared that this visit is going to be a disaster, all because of my
SIL. I am stuck, there is no way out here What do I do if she v's
around me? I mean even if she is sick in the bathroom I will hear
everything and I can see myself running out of the house... what do I
do here?? Uggh I hate this...



Miriam

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[Jenneh]

you know wat, im kinda in the sme boat...


just found out someone in my year is pregnant.. but still wil b going toschool... so im likely to see her v* at least once from morning sickness considering our common room is so small!


to be hoenst i dnt think thrers any way around it


im guessin telling urself thart its morning sickness -- u wont catch it -- dont help?


i dont know to be honest mate. wish i did.


but uv always got those tricks of headphones or tkin a walk outside if it does hapen..


Jen xxxxxxxx

[mbs730]

Sigh, honestly whether someone v's from a sv or as
simple as a bad side effect from a drug, it doesnt make a difference to
me. If someone v's, v is v! Doesnt matter the cause. Uggh, but thanks
for the headphone idea. If she walks out of the room because she is not
feeling good, well I will put my headphones on and crank up some Linkin
Park or something lol, yeah then you know what? I will be told I am
being rude knowing my family UGGH I CANT WIN! I dont know what to do. Thanks so much though



Miriam

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[Jenneh]

RAH u shudnt be told ur being RUDE!!!


i dont quite get our families (sorry) but if we have emet.. we're expected to stay in the room if someone v*s or not say " thats disgusting" cos its being rude!


but ppl say that all the time! or do that all the time! even wen they're non emets..


sorry my littlre rnt there.


go linkin to save the day [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


Jen xxxxxxxx

[mbs730]

Its okay Jen, please vent all you need to!! Yeah they would say that I am rude! I know, nonemets can be so clueless!



Miriam

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[Melikasa]

Yikes. I wish that I had someway of helping you out. Does your SIL know about your Emet? Maybe if she knows or if your mom can even tell her for you if that is easier she will be more considerate.
Maybe she won't have bad morning sickness. Its too bad that she has to be such a drama queen. I really dislike when people feel they have to act that way. I am sure that she is going to be catered to enough simply for being pregnant.
Anyways besides letting them know so that it isn't a topic brought up.
In the mean time you have 2 weeks to try and calm yourself. Don't use to 2 weeks to work yourself up.
Best wishes hun

[mbs730]

She is over 14 weeks along and she has had bad morning
sickness She has always been prone to v'ing and to be honest she is
not a very nice person. I dont think she would necessarily tease me
about my emet but she just plain wouldnt care. She doesnt care about
anyone but herself. She NEEDS to have all the focus on her all the
time, I dont get it! Unbelievable. Well I'll try not to dwell on it
right now. However the closer the time comes, hmm that could be another
story lol



Miriam

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[jgirl236]

Miriam,


I know how scary it can be to have to anticipate the arrival of someone who may be v* at your house. it would scare the hell out of me. Sounds like you have a few tricks (the headphones - leaving the house) that could help you. If she does announce that she is going to be sick - and you feel that you cannot handle it - just find a way to put some space between you and where she is. I know its far from positive but if she is so vocal about being ill - at least you have warning and you can remove yourself right?


For me - I know the anticipation of the event is much worse than the actual event. I could worry myself sick over her arrival. But with her being almost 14 weeks along - the real mmorning sickness should begin to die down a bit. Like someone else said - maybe she won't be sick at all while she is there.


I feel for you sweetie - and I hope you can get through the weekend with as little stress as possible. What I try to do - and sometimes it helps - is try to shut down some of that "noise" in my head. I decide that since there is nothing I can do about someone else getting sick around me - I put that "worry" into my "worry pocket" (I know it sounds corny but it works!) And I promise myself that I will worry about it when I need to (say if someone announces they are going to be ill) but in the meantime - I am going to let it go. Its not an easy skill and it takes practice but the more I do it - the better I feel. You are not telling yourself that you can't worry - you are just postponing that worry for a bit. I try to postpone the worry as many times as I can and then once I can't take it anymore - I let the worry happen. Again - I know that is not easy but maybe that could help?


I wish you the best of luck and if you need to chat - I am at [email protected]


Take care,


Jessica[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

Thanks Jessica, I do appreciate that. The more I think
about it you are right. I also cant worry about my family telling me
that I am being rude because if she has to be so gross and announce
that she is going to be sick then that is worse. But yeah worry does
nothing and I do it all the time. Thanks for you support! It means a
lot!



Miriam

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[jgirl236]

I know its hard to have your family get down on you about being "rude" in those situations but I have come to realize that they will never fully understand what that intense fear feels like. And fear on that level makes you do things that you normally wouldn't do. (like walk away or not be helpful to someone who is ill).


Since your family is having trouble relating to what you are feeling - put them in the worry pocket as well! Remember that you have every right to feel what you are feeling (good or bad) and if they cannot accept it or deal with it - too bad. Being at this site is a step in the right direction for you to recover from this and if they can't be supportive when you need them - come to us!


Take care,


Jessica[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[mbs730]

You are so right Jessica! And this site is definitely what I call a GOD SEND!! Thank you so much!!



Miriam

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