Since I have had a bad week and have feeling like the worst mum ever and a bad wife and just generally really low, I decided it was time to look at brave positive things I have done in the past year to fight against emetophobia. They are only silly little things, but brave steps for me.


I went and helped out at my daughters school for a morning. I used to work with children but after having my own children my emetophobia became worse than ever and I really had to push myself to help at my daughters school.


I visited my mum in hospital and my grandad 4 times in a nursing home. I did not relax the whole time I was there but I did it.


Icamped ata weekend music festival with my husbandand survived. I did not enjoy it at all. There really was alot of v* and I freaked out many times. My husband could not understand what was up with me. I am sure we were the only people not drinking thereand I noticed everyone whov* near me. it did get too much when a man lay for 2 hours in his own v*. I hid behind my husband, pulled my hat over my eyes and willed the time to pass quickly. I even made my husband walk 3 miles with me to the local tescos to use the toilet as the toilets there were beyond anyones worst nightmare. I only went for my husbandand he really enjoyed the music so I am glad I did it for him. Only trouble is he wants to do it again this summer. Aaaghh.


Ihave started taking my son to Tumble Tots. This means I have to take a bus for 5 miles as my eyesight means I can not drive.(I have not travelled on a bus since I was 12 and someone was sickright by the door and we all had to step over it to change busses). Anyway, I have made the journey 7 times now and I have survived.


I have had my daughter's friends into play whilst my husband is away at sea. I used to wait until he was home just in case they were unwell.


These are only little steps, but they havebeen difficult. I so much want to be a good mum and not to continually ask my husband if he is alright. I couldmake a much longer list of negative things I have done in the last year due to emetophobia but I will try and focus on the good things and hopefully I can make the list so much longer.