i have been fighting n* since yseterday. All day at work I felt sooo bad, worse then I EVER felt, and when I went home I realized that this was it, I was going to throwup.


SO I freaked out. because I can''t handle that I idea. I don't want to, so I fought it. I really just wanted to die. I kept thinking, "how can I get out of my body?". There is no way I could run from myself. I was so scared my body was shaking ALL over! SO i called my stepmom who usually helps me out with things like this. And she talked to me and helped me breathe on the phone. At around 10:00pm it passed. The n* was still there, but I was able to fall asleep.


So, this morning, I was supposed to be a work at 7am, but I was sooo scared to get out of bed, for fear that I would have what happpened yesterday happen to me again today. SO I called in sick, about 3 minutes before I was supposed to show up. My manager was really pissed and said that she needed me to show up because today was going to be really busy and she doesn't have anyone to cover my shift. But I said, "Ican't, Jenn, because I don't know whats going on with my body".


Then my stepmom called and is soo frustrated and dissappointed in my because I didn't go to work. I understand why. I needed help so badly last night and she spent all the time helping me, fo rme to just sit and bed and allow my fear to screw up my f***ing miserable life.





Please, I don't need soothing words or words of encouragment. I just need answers. Is it true that we can fight v*? Is that what I did last night? Am i going to be sick? Do you think I'll be fired? WHy do I have to live like this? I'm already weak as it is.


What should I eat to make myself feel better? I ate something yesterday and it only made me feel worse. DO you think this is a stomach virus?