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I'm meeting a new friend for the second time, and we decide to go for a
drink. I was fine for the first hour and a half, although I was anxious
before I left. But then, I started to feel n* and all anxious and
shaky. Haven't felt that bad for ages. I put on my travel
bands (usually calm me down) but didn't work, so had to go outside for
some fresh air. My friend came with me and we decided to grab
some food for her (she had a coach journey), and then I was feeling so
bad, I took an anti emet, surreptiously! On the way to drop her off at
her coach, there was v* on the floor! I stepped right over it, but my
stomach literally flipped with fear.



I've tried calling my family, and my partner, but I can't get hold of
anyone. I live on my own in halls at uni. I don't feel sick
anymore, but I'm still shaking, and crying, and I'm so sick of dealing
with this.



Do you find sometimes your emet goes through bad stages and good
stages? This summer, I was so well. I travelled (3 hour train
journey) every week to see my partner, I went to a fair (!), I went out
for dinner, I started to eat foods I'd been frightened to eat for
years. For the first time in forever, i started to feel
normal. But now, I feel like a shadow of myself. Just a
complete mess. I can't stop thinking about v*, when I'll next v*,
whether it will be tonight, whether I'll cope with it when it does
happen. I haven't eaten all day, I can barely drink I'm so
nervous.



I'm sorry this is long. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img] Please, someone. I think I'm going mad. I'm not the only one who has days like these?