You guys,



I know I have been really "needy" here since my time joining but
frankly I don't know where else to lean for support right now. Once my
medical insurance kicks in on Oct 1, I am going to seek professional
help. But in the mean time, I just don't know what to do.



I had four separate panic attacks (emet-related) yesterday ALONE! Dang
it, I don't even know where to begin. Suffice it to say these were
run-of-the-mill, nausea/SV fearing panic attacks, just really bad ones.
I have had a chest cold for the past two days and without getting
GRAPHIC, the post-nasal drip makes for nausea (let me know if you don't
know what I mean), which set me on edge. I also misconstrue the typical
cold symptoms (slight fever, headache, etc.) as sv-beginnings.



Well to make my long story somewhat shorter, my wife got fed up with
me. We were having a silly argument about something and then out of
left field she was like "I'm not the crazy one with the phobias and the
anxiety attacks."



That really hurt because I try so hard to keep my emet from her and
keep it from harming her life- I can't tell you how many times (even
yesterday!) I just wanted to stay in bed under the covers but got my
stuff together enough to take her out to dinner, or whatever.



So after getting 3 hours sleep last night, I come in to the office this
morning to see the dreaded "I was SO SICK with a stomach bug this
weekend and can't come in today" emails from TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE - I
am bugging out!! I can only wash my hands so much but we all use the
same doorknobs, same kitchen (I can try REAL hard to skip the bathroom
today but that is going to be next to impossible unless I go home for
lunch) - but there is stuff I can't avoid like the air, the door, the
copier, etc.



I feel like I am trapped - and can't escape. My last panic attack was
at 1:30am - I woke up n* (which in my sane mind was probably hunger
because I didn't eat much) but it was that kind of half awake-half
asleep-half dreaming kind of panic. And I woke up n* or empty or
whatever but I am having oatmeal now - though it is giving me
heartburn. Also I had no choice but to use the plastic cup and spoon
and hot water machine in the office - so scared!



This is really bad... how can I avoid the SV if it is so obviously going around the office?



Thanks everybody,

Lewis