Iv been like this for days now and its not getting any better Im getting very scared over it. My phobia tightens up my throat and I always feel on the verge of retching, Its mortifyig me, I wake up at about 5am in panic and then I hate the idea of it carrying on all day, Iv been to the doctors and I wont take any tablets for it cos iv had the phobia 26yrs and always coped up til now. I feel there is no doorway or solution and im just existing on terror. I love going asleep but I wake up choking so I cant even relax. I cry lots when my kids arnt about. I pinch myself to take my mind off my throat and stomach, Im bruised because of it. Im so upset that its got this bad, I had it bad about 5 yr ago, got better and lead an almost normal life. I feel so insecure and I think thats why I feel the way I do. when I was an assistant manager I felt I was doing a good job and I knew I could run the place with my eyes shut,and I was also married at the time, it lasted a few months, he tret me bad, not beating me up but always going awol and switching his phone off so I couldnt get through to him, I did love him at the time but I cant stand the thought of me and him anymore, I feel ashamed every time I think of him and why I married him I will never know! In other words Im glad I have got rid of him so I cant understand why my phobia is so powerful at the mo, 24 hours a day Im on guard over it, has anyone else felt like this or am I going mad? I wont take tablets but I am trying hypnotherapy. Edited by: suzy.o