So I just joined this site last night. I already introduced myself in another post, but there's a situation weighing on my mind that I just need to share with y'all. It's, of course, emetophobia related.

*Trigger warning: I don't censor the words associated with being ill, they used to bother me when I was in elementary school and I used to refer to what we're all scared of as "it" or would make a motion with my hand at the front of my throat so my mom knew what I was talking about. Even sounding out the letter "v" would upset me, even if I wasn't saying THE "v" word. I'm so sorry if the actual words to describe being ill upset any of you, but it's part of my recovery process to use those nasty words and face them head-on. I hope that's understandable! If you cannot continue reading because those words will make you panic, I understand! If you'd still like to have a conversation with me or you want me to send you a censored version of this post, private message me


So, this past Sunday and Monday I spent some time with my father. My parents are divorced and I live with my mom. He works in Jersey (but we all live in NY), meaning he's a busy dude and I don't see him that often.
On Sunday, we walked around town and I actually had a SUPER good day.. thanks to the Valium I took. That's a different topic for a different post. Anyway, he bought a cream soda and I took a sip out of it after he had already drank about half.
Monday, he took me to my EMDR treatment, we went food shopping, and he dropped me off at home.
Yesterday, aka Thursday, he called me and told me he woke up around 11:30 PM on Tuesday and threw up one time. He then had diarrhea all of Wednesday and part of Thursday. I freaked out immediately even though there are a few explanations to this. I know I talk a lot, stay with me here!

1: My father has Crohn's disease (and my mother and I have IBS, this shit runs in the family.. pun intended) so its not at all out of the ordinary for him to go to the bathroom like that. When he was younger, his Crohn's did make him puke, but it hasn't happened in ages according to him.

2: On his way home from work Tuesday night, he stopped at a random deli and got some type of chicken parm sandwich. He ate it when he got home, went to bed, and 5-6 hours later is when he woke up sick. This is part of the reason why I'm a vegetarian!!

3: He went to the doctor yesterday and his doctor said his intestines are not inflamed, which would indicate a Crohn's flareup. So, his doctor says he either caught something or it's from something he ate.

I'm trying SO hard to convince myself that if sharing that drink with him or him kissing me on the face when we said goodbye contaminated me, I would have been sick by now. The internet tells me so many different incubation periods for stuff like this, it's hard to know.

It's been 4 days since I've seen him. Am I in the clear?? Am I just freaking out for no reason??? I've been scared to eat or hang out with anybody because I'm afraid I'll throw up.
I'm such a lil baby but I need some comfort and support and reasoning from my fellow emetophobes Sorry for such a long post. xo