Alright. I looked this up on google but anyone who asked this kind of question was viewed as crazy and only sarcastic responses were given. So, I thought of my lovely community (who I haven't seen in a while by the way!) who shares the fear I struggle with, and would understand my concern and anxiety yet still not consider it crazy!

Anyway...

I was at a friends house (who unknowingly to me had had a terrible stomach virus). I am always super careful about germs to the extreme no matter what season. I always carry my bottle of meds on me. I take Subutex, sublingual tablets (dissolve under the tongue) that helps my TMJ (jaw joint) pain and has helped me come off a ten-times-a-day slavery to Percocet (this was my decesion and I was prescribed to the oxycodone). Now, after I took my afternoon half a pill I tried to screw the pill bottle closed but somehow it seemed to leap from my hands and explode, every single pill bouncing and rolling around the floor. So my friend, to my horror, started to help pick them up while I stared in a shocked horror.

Then, not long later he apologized that he wasn't feeling good because he had just had a terrible stomach virus, he says lasting five days, so he still didn't feel great. Imagine the panic I tried to hold in here. Once I left, I looked at my pills, and here is where I know I sound crazy, but I can "see" clusters of germs just chilling around on my pills. I imagine germs everywhere I go. On people's hands, being spread on doors and phones and floors and holy moly, just taking over the world! Has anyone been through something similar anymore? I mean, I never touch my pills. They stay in the bottle the pharmacist puts them in. When it's time to take one, I dump one straight from the bottle into the cap and dump it straight to my mouth. Since I have to break one, I either take a paper towel to handle it, or I just bite down on one, leave the other half in the cap, and dump it back into the bottle. I promise, I have become a pro at not touching my pills for any reason! And it doesn't even take me five minutes to take one anymore! I'm pretty speedy!

Here are my problems:

1. I cannot replace these pills or get a new prescription. They are very strict about this.
2. If I don't take my meds, I will go into bad withdrawal and probably v.
3. I am too afraid to take my meds because if they have those persistant little germies on them I might catch it and v.

So, does anyone know the best way to help remove or destroy these real or imaginary germs? I really don't want to have panic attacks over this for three days, and I've already missed two doses and feel increasingly awful.

Thanks for bearing with me!

Caitlin