Just a little background before I begin on whats currently going on:
I have always had an insane unrational fear of v* (i love that that is used here - less triggering!) and have only experienced it 3 times in my life, and one was pain pill related. when i was 17 my mom had to undergo surgeries related to endometriosis. the pain medicine they prescribed her afterwards caused her to get sick, and I completely lost it. for the next few days I locked myself in my room, refusing to eat, barely drank any liquids, obsessively checking my temperature as if i somehow caught the sickness from my mom, and having what i now know as panic attacks, which left me hyperventilating to the point of passing out. i was afraid to go into the bathroom just to pee. I still remember this as me hitting rock bottom. not just me being crazy and insensitive, i knew this wasnt normal and i had something wrong with me. when my mom was healed she took me to our nurse practioner, who had been prescribing me odansetrone for my frequent nausea knowing that it was a big fear of mine. i told her what had been going on and she suggested I see a GI specialist. So i did all that, had the camera stuck down my throat and they found nothing. So after that gave us no new information, i was prescribed Ativan. This was the huge turning point. We realized that I, in fact, had Panic Disorder. alongside that, was emetophobia. N*s is one of the main signs I'm having a panic attack, including being unable to breath or swallow. So as you can imagine being an emetophobe, I was constantly panicking and wondering "is this nausea just from this panic attack?" or "is this the real thing?" After 3 years since my diagnosis things were alot better. i was placed on Fluoxetine for my anxiety/panic disorder and it almost diminished the number of panic attacks i was having, along with Xanax if i was having an attack. i worked in a daycare with children, i helped a friend when they were sick from a hangover, i really didnt consider my phobia to be that strong anymore.

Until this Christmas weekend. My dad had told me that him and his family had been sick, v*ting two days before, but they all felt fine now. Stupidly i thought I'd be brave and go see them for the holiday. no way i could get sick. and then the next day the 26th. absolute worst night of my life.

i had woken up from a nap and immediately felt sick. I went to the bathroom and to keep this as sensitive as possible, I was getting sick from both ends at the same time and it lasted for 10 hours. all the while this is happening, im having panic attacks. unable to keep any kind of fluid down, i ended up having to go to the ER for fluids and insisted on an IV dose of Zofran. which ended up being two because i didn't feel the first dose was strong enough. They also ended up having to give me a shot of Ativan because i could not get my breathing controlled. I havent been sick since about 3am yesterday morning. Just a little d*. But now my mom has caught my awful bug and her vomiting is making me feel like Im going to start again. someone help talk me down from this please Ive taken my last Ativan i had prescribed to me as well, so thats adding to the anxiety and i dont know how much more zofran i can take today. please anyone?