Hey,
so, there's this issue and it's really wearing me down lately.

I'd love to go to med school, even though I'm emetophobic. I know that it's impossible though. It's not only the v* or the gems that I'd be worried about, I'm also TERRIFIED of injuries and especially dead bodies and body parts, possibly even more than the v* since I can't even talk about these two things with someone without panicking. But I love reading about everything and learning all the different things. Gosh, that sounds so dull, I'm so sorry. It's just... I'd really, really love to go to med school and I can't and it's making me hate myself so much because this stupid fear is constantly keeping me from doing things I love.

Two things that make it even worse are that
a) I know for a fact that I would get in (which is depressing because if I had really bad grades etc. I could at least tell myself "oh well, it's not like you would've gotten in anyway, hah." and it wouldn't be just another things my fear won't let me do)
b) THREE of my friends are currently in med school, so it's a constant reminder of what a failure I am and how I'm never gonna get there.

I probably don't help myself by reading med students blogs and stuff all the time, but it's just so gd interesting.
I just feel like I'm never gonna even get close to anything I want because I'm in therapy for 5 years by now and I still sometimes can't even go buy groceries because I'm too afraid.

I don't know what I want to hear from you. I guess I just needed a place to let it out to someone who understands and either hear some encouraging words or have someone verbally punch me in the face or something..

Well, go on with your lives now.