Hiya


Just feel I need to open up to you guys. I feel like I am stuck in a locked room and cannot get out, want to scream but no one cares.


The one thing which causes me the most pain is that because of my phobia I didnt get to talk to my Nan before she died. She had been ill with various chest infections for some weeks and my Grandad and Mum said I should keep away.... knowing how I get if I am near someone who is ill.


She was eventually rushed into hospital and lay unconsious for a week before she passed away. She had an operation and we all sat in the hospital waiting for her to pull through .... and for a day she was fully consious and able to talk to visitors- but I had gone down with flu and was kept away.


I regret not getting to talk to her properly before she died and it still haunts me going on 3 years later. I did sit by her bedside and talk to her and I am sure she could understand but she could not reply. My phobia had kept me away from her for so long and then illness had kept me away again.


Thank you for listening, take care.