Hello everyone! My name is Michelle and I am new to this site. I have been an emetophobe for over 20 years and this phobia runs my life. I was excited to find this site and see that I am not alone. Everyone who knows me finds it strange that I am like this. People always ask why I am so afraid of v*, what made me this way so here is my story. When I was in the 6th grade we had a movie day and this girl v* all over the place. I don't know what was wrong with her but she starting playing in it, eating it and rubbing it on her body! After that day I wouldn't eat or swallow my own spit and this went on for several months. When I began to eat again I would stick to safe foods like crackers and preztels. If I ate anything else I would just chew the food and spit it out not allowing myself to swallow anything. I figured if I had nothing in my stomach I couldn't v*. I did this for about 6 years on and off until I graduated from high school.

Fast forward to present day, I haven't v* in 11 years but I have many stomach issues. I have IBS and I am lactose intolerant. I do eat but very little outside of my home because I am always scared that I am going to get sick. I am 31 years old and I want to have children but I cannot get over this phobia and feel I will not be able to care for my children because of this. I have been reading a lot of the posts on here and it seems that there are many members with kids. Everyone tells me that I will be able to handle it if my kid were to v* because it will be my own child but I don't think that I would be able to. How do the members with kids handle this?

I know this was long, but it feels good to tell this to people that would understand how I feel and not just think I am crazy.

Michelle [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]