Just got out of hospital - oh my god!

[summer_10]

Hi Folks,


I am new to this site and so happy that a friend told me about you guys!


I have just been released from a week of hell in the hospital. I would normally avoid going into a hospital at all costs but my appendix put pay to that. I am sure that all of the nurses thought I was barmy! ( could be right )


I ended up having the worst week of my life, I felt like a fool for not being able to cope with other people and myself being ill. I had to keep the curtains around my bed closed and my radio on full blast all of the time, I made my hubby bring my own cup and things in and would only drink bottled water or juice. No way was I ever going to eat any of the the food they presented me with, I ended up having to get long suffering hubby to make me a sandwich at home to eat. I have never been so scared of anything in my life. I am still not sleeping because I think about it all of the time it is pretty awful the things I had to deal with but I wont go into detail here.


Is anyone else this scared and neurotic when it comes to going into hospital? how do you cope? I just know that no matter how ill I might feel in the future there is no way they will get me near a hospital, not for love no money.


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[2jo2]

I have never had to stay in a hospital, but I'm like you, I will avoid them at all costs. I hate the smell, the idea that people are sick all around you, all that. I don't really have an answer for you because I haven't had to really experience hospital stays or visits.... I know that I'd just barrel thru my fear if a family member was ill and in the hospital, maybe think of it as exposure therapy? So even tho I don't have an answer for you, I just wanted to offer my support. I hate nursing homes even more and won't go in there.... my mother in law works in one as a social worker and I don't know how she does it. I'm sorry you had to go thru an appendix episode, and who cares what the nurses thought of you, they should be trying to make you comfy. How nice to have a supportive husband who'll make and bring in asandwich for you. Honestly tho, ever since I've started coming to this site, my emet has gotten better, just being able to come and talk to people who know what I'm feeling like is a load off. Welcome to the site!

[Jenneh]

i've never been in a hospital so i have no idea how u msut hav felt..but i can imagine i probaly wud have reacted the same way as you!


i take for granted th fact that my family dont get ill much, so i can hide away at home and i hardly ever hav to hear the noise.. you know.. but wen i go to Uni, people are SO much more likely to v* there, lke at a hospital... so im a bit scared about that.


i think u were very brave to get thru it.. get the treatment u needed and u coped well. so thats good.


Jen xxxxxxx

[trickyvicky]

Welcome to the site summer 10,it's great to c new members....Well i have been in hospital for many different things and each time done exactly the same thing as u and it's very hard to know if u are feeling ill because of what might be wrong with u,or just anxiety related as being in an hospital would make my anxiety level very high....i don't know where u live in the UK but I'm in Plymouth and there's always the Norwalk virus going around and it spreads like wild fire.....Luckily i haven't had to go into hospital since my emet has become a problem.....well they wouldn't even get me there as the last 3yrs I've been agoraphobic,but i guess if i was that ill i would do it.....But i hope u recover from this ordeal and maybe become a stronger person for it,i know it probably doesn't feel like it at the moment but i think u have been very brave and achieved something that alot of people might not be able to do....so give yourself a pat on the back and try to look at the positive side of it,it might have been to this day the hardest thing u have done but u survived and got through it,how terrible u might have felt along the way.....Take care and hope u find the site helpful and look forward to how u are doing now u are out of hospital


take care Vicky xx

[mbs730]

The only time I was in the hospital was after the birth
of my children and I did not experience v of any kind there, except for
my husband the night my daughter was born but he did it at home away
from me. However there are no other times where I would ever go to a
hospital. Yeah that would be just plain gross.



Miriam

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[s.a.l]

I am the same, i avoid hospitals at all costs, doctors waiting rooms are something i like to avoid too, but sometimes you can't... i hate it, especially casualty!!!

[Margaret]

Hi Summer,


I have been to the hospital to gettwo teeth removed under anestetic, because the dentist wasn't able to because of my fear for gagging. It was just for one day, without a night. I was very, very nervous, and as you had the curtain closed and wore a discman all the time! Luckily I don't have as much problem with food as you, and only had to have one meal there, but I was soooo glad I was home!


Good for you for handling as good as you could!

[Scattycat]

I spent 6 1/2 weeks in hospital once and there were some horrible moments - the first was in the HDU where the man opposite drank about 12 cups of tea within 24 hours of surgery and then bought them back up - I lay in bed with my fingers in my ears and my eyes shut (my brothers girlfriend wondered why I was doing it) Then the nurses were trying to make me cough to clear my lungs but I couldn't incase I was sick. Then I was put in a side room and they bought a girl in who had taken her mother's diabetic tablets so they'd given her that charcoal stuff and she was sick right next to me - I leapt out of bed and got the nurse and then sat with the nurses for ages just incase she was sick again.


That happened 9 years ago but I'm far worse with emet now than I was then so I dread to think how I'd cope if I ever have to go into hospital again...

[summer_10]

Thanks so much for your kind replies, its funny really but I always thought I was pretty much alone with this thing and believe it or not it is comforting to know that I am not ( even though I wish none of us suffered with this thing )


I just spent the day with one of my friends who is verysupportive and understands as well as she can. The one thing she struggles with is the fact that I take meds daily just in case I might ever feel sick! does anyone else do this? also she finds me a nightmare to feed because I am so careful about what I will and will not eat, but bless her she grins and bares it well.


I had to see my GP today and he is pretty understanding about my phobia and was curious as to how I had coped with hospital, I couldnt even describe to him how bad it had been the night that girl was admitted at 5am. I was sound asleep but I must have an internal warning device that tells me someone is going to v* - I was off the ward like a gazelle and locked myself in the loos until a nurse came to find me to see if I was ok. I was really lousy and the last thing I needed was that but she was as entitled to be ill as well but I was shaking and felt so un-reasonable all I wanted them to do was move one of us but they tried the amatuer psychology thing like face your fears blah blah which you will all know just aint going to work. I ended up hysterical then medicated to stop me walking it was so bad.


Anyway enough of that


thanks again


love


summer


x

[Jenneh]

you know, sometimes i get annoyed at people wen they used to say to me "just make urself sick or watch someone else sick.. face ur fear and it wil go" because its never as easy and simple as that.


but, by facing ur fears slowly and gradually, you CAN learn yto deal with it, so that next time sumthing lke tht happens u wont freak out as much... so there is some logic to it somewhere i gues.


Jen xxxxxxxxx

[summer_10]

Well I am 33 now and have had 2 children and still dont feel able to face my fears. I had 6 hour stays at the hospital after I had my 2 girls and have a great circle of people around me who have probably wrapped me in cotton wool when it comes to V* I have never had to deal with it from my kids someone else always has ( which leaves me feeling unable to look after them at times ) I have to say though both my girls are very well trained and are so good now because of my complete fear.


I am coping a little better now I have been home for a few days and at least I am sleeping now which is a good thing it isnt keeping me awake at night as much. I know that this irrational fear will start to settle the longer I am at home. My biggest obsession right now is to not return there so thats making me a bit more obsessive about infections etc but again I know that with time that will settle ( I hope )

[ejb199]

Hi Summer
you are certainly NOT alone! this is a really supportive and informative site you have found - so WELCOME!

i 'touching wood' have never had to go to hospital bar blood tests - and even they always turn into a nightmare. i HATE them so so much. they really scare me. but hey, you got thro it - this post should really be in TRIUMPHS - coz thats what it is. And hey - its not that odd/wierd (whaever others may say) to not drink or eat their food - just probably not many husbands would be so supportive!!

Well done! Enjoy the site!

ems xx

[bethie_bear]

i was in hospital a few months ago only for a night but it was the worst feeling in the world! They wouldnt let me eat or drink so at least I didnt have to eat the junk they supply! They wanted me to stay in longer but I made my mum ring up and say I felt fine and to let me out! So I discharged myself!

[terified girl]

I spent about a month at the hospital everyday because of my dad, and well I was kinda freaked about it but I wasn't going to stay away from him, and I ended up eating there with him a few times....Fortunately I never saw anything as bad as you, but I do feel the same about ever going to the hospital for myself, I've already told my mom that if I am ever diagnosed with cancer or something, I will die from it....Chemo???? Yeah right!!! I'll take death!


Cheer up you will slowly forget the thoughts and images and whatever else you suffered in that dreaded place!

[HDogg]

I had an outpatient surgery a little over two years ago, and it scared me to death! I made the doctor give me a spinal anesthetic combined with local, because there was less of a chance of me v*. I also made them give me an anti-emetic. I made sure they knew upfront that I was an emet. I didn't care what they thought of me, I wasn't taking ANY chances! And after the surgery, I was in the recovery room with a dozen other people and I was scared one of them would v* any moment! I had my fingers in my ears the entire time (the nurses probably thought I was nuts, but oh well) until I was wheeled in a separate room. The worst thing about the experience was waiting for my legs to "wake up" and having to pee and eat before I could go home. The process took several hours and I sooo desperately wanted to leave the hospital, but they wouldn't let me. I hate hospitals too, and only go there when absolutely necessary!