panic- advice needed

[jazz]

Hey there everyone, i have had emet for as long as i can remember, and i have always managed to deal with it up until now,because i am pretty determined. However, in May this year, I experienced my first ever panic attack, and it couldn't have happened in a worse place. I was sitting my mental maths SAT exam, the ACTUAL exam, not the mocs.
I'd only eaten a sandwhich before i went in, and I had been feeling lousy with nausea all week. However, i felt nauseas whilst sitting at my desk, and then i became really fidgety.
I sat there privately torturing myself, my stomach was too bloated to touch, and I felt AWFUL! I kept glancing at the door, and thinking " i can run out "I got so shaky, and convinced myself that i would throw up, that i promtply ran out of the exam and to the toilet.
On my flee to the ladies, my pe teacher stopped me and gave me a telling off for running out ( if only she had a clue ) i told her i was about to be sick and she told me that it was no excuse! The thought of throwing up in that environment completely freaked me out
Since then I have completely dreaded going to exams, and have experienced many mini panic attacks since, especially in public and school, resulting with me being sent home week after week. I'm so fed up of this because i dont want to ruin my chances of doing well. I'm just so scared and worked up it's unbelievable. I wasn't sick that day i left my exam, but why did i panic so badly?!

[Jenneh]

Jazz, u were nervous. i bet a lot of people around u were feeling nauseous too, but because they're not emetophobes, they let it ride straight over ur head !!


im not saying its ur fault tho, u have to understand.


from the age of 11 - 15 i sat thru exams, exactly how u did, saying to myself " i can run out, i can run out", i never did, but for that teacher to say that to you, its awful.


i dont know if ur gnna like this idea, but now, my head of sixth form knows about my phobia and panic attacks, so if on the morning of the exam, im having a particvaulrly anxious day, im allowd to tke the exam on my own in another room. do you think u cud talk to a teacher? maybe even the comfort that the invidulators know that u have panic attacks, will stop u from panicking in the exams, because u will be excused to go out the room if need be.


im sorry that u had to go thru.. sounds horrible.. lets hope u dont need to again.


Jen xxxxxxx

[izzybee]

You're not alone, I cant take exams either for that very reason. I think its a natural phobic responce, when we're forced to sit in a room and not meant to leave, we think that we really want to leave but its alot harder if you see what I mean.


Maybe you could talk to your school about taking exams in a seperate room, of have a room ready for you if you need to leave the exam hall. I sat my SATS and will be sititng my gcse's and mocks seperatly which has helped, so I can think of th exam and not about v*


If you can, or dont want to do this, there are ways of calming yourself down during an exam.


First off, if you feel a panic attack coming on (thinking that you will feel sick, and other symptoms) then first off try to take a few deep breaths, just to get you thinking straight and your heart beat down a bit, Then just think about why you are panicing, say its because you feel sick, then question it, do you really feel sick? how likely is it that you will be sick? etc etc. Also dont aswy to yourself that you Will be sick, try to think that you Might be sick, this puts a kind of doubt in your mind that actually it might not happen.]


Its hard to do that in an exam, but its quite useful to question things whenever you are panicing


For the exam alway take some mints of chewing gum, this helps to calm your stomach, and also rememebr some water.


Exams are hard, but unfortunatly you ahev alot left to take in your life time. I would tackle this problem, rather than run away from it like I do.


Goodluck for your next exams whenever they may be!

[jazz]

Thank You both, you're support has been wonderful
Hopefully, we will send a letter to the head of year informing them of my panic attacks and this bloody phobia, im just hoping they'll be sympathetic.
i'm just so scared about going back to school, it's ridiculous. I think part of the reason I had a panic attack was because i was focused on getting sick NOT the content of the exam. I really didn't care about getting a good grade, I was so scared though! That must have been my first ever panic attack, and Jen, you're right.. i was probably not the only one feeling nauseaus, except being an emet, i chanelled all mythoughts onto feeling ill.
I would feel a hundred times happier knowing that I could sit my exam alone, without being surrounded by people. I'm also going to be very cautious, and take gum with me.
What I find really annoying though, is the fact that I did fine in my SATS, i got a level 7 for english,and a 6 for science, yet although i missed one out of 3 exams for maths, they gave me an A for absent, and i was left ungraded. I hate the fact that emet has caused me this, and resent it so much!
Thank you both

[izzybee]

I know. I always think that I could do so well at school If I didnt have emet, but theres nothing much we can do about it. I really dread going back to school too. I think most students do but it seems even worse for us.


Its good that you are going to write to your head of year. She will probably inform your teahers or soemthing so that they know if you have to leave class again.


Anyway glad ur feeling a bit better about the situation. Enjoy the next 3 weeks off school, then you can worry about the problem when you come to it

[Jenneh]

aww Jazz, sounds like a right bummer...


sending a letter is a veryu very good idea.. if they're not sympathetic, give me their number and i wil set them straight! lol


Jen xxxx

[jazz]

yey, it's about time lol
xx

[Melikasa]

awww big huggers.
First I think the teacher was a bit harsh. I wonder if going and telling them exactly what the matter is if it would help a little. It is too bad that the "cheaters" ruin it for people that really are sick.
I am sure that there were A LOT Of people not feeling well that day. Exams are rough. I am not going to say it won't happen again but I am 99% sure that you won't be sick. Emets have an uncanny way of preventing v****** from anxiety. Other people don't.
Knowing that you feel that way try and have some peppermints or gum. If you allowed that is. If you can wear something that smells like lavender it will help keep you relaxed and it is great for helping you focus. Remember to take deep breaths. I was the same way. I eyed the door and tried to work out how long it would take me to run out the door and get to the bathroom if I needed to.
I hope that the test went well for you.
Don't worry that it happened once before, just because it happened that time doesn't mean it will happen again.

[jazz]

( hug ) thank you, im hoping to god it won't. the teacher WAS harsh, but she's a Pe specialist, it's in their nature lol.
I find it SO difficult to steer my mind away from anything else though, my stomach turns, my oesophagus feels like it's tied in a knot, and my breathing becomes really shaky etc.
I try and tell myself that I won't be sick, because I have no reason to be sick, but it's so upsetting because control completely slips away..

[buttercup]

This used to happen to me all the time as well and the psychiatrist I went to when I was 17 taught me a relaxation technique that I still use today (about the only thing good that came from her!). Basically what you do is close your eyes for a moment and one by one focus on each part of your body and relaxing that part. Start with your heart, listen to it pumping and think about all the work it is doing to keep your body functioning. Concentrate on focusing all your attention to your heart.Then think about all your organs and how well they work together to keep your body working properly. Then slowly travel (in your mind of course) to the top of your head and concentrate on that and then one by one your facial features. Move down to your neck, then your arms, hands and fingers, then finally down your legs, feet, and toes. Think about relaxing each part and think about that parts function in your body and just keep telling yourself at each part what a marvelous creation your body is that all those parts work together.


By the time you get done you should be more relaxed and less focused on the nausea and anxiety. No one has to know your doing it, just pretend you're looking at your paper. It really helps me focus and get through scary times. You'll get better at it if you practice, try doing it at night before you go to bed or sometime when you're not having anxiety first.


Hope this helps!

[jazz]

thank you buttercup, i will definately try this technique. I'm sorry you didn't get much out of having a psychiatrist. I'm seeing an " adolescant psychologist " god knows what the difference is, hopefully before I get back to school.
I think my main priority will be to inform my teachers aboutmy panicsbecause I don't want to have to find myself in desperate situations like last term.
Keep me posted
Em
xxx

[buttercup]

Good for you in deciding to be open with your teachers. I think that will help you out a lot.

[jazz]

cheers! I was just wondering, does having emet interfere with working? Because I know how difficult it is in school, and i was wondering whether you ever experience the same?

[buttercup]

I have found not as bad. When you're working you don't have to feel trapped, if you have to go to the bathroom you just go.You feel a lot more in control.I did want to be a teacher and was afraid I couldn't handle it w/ the emet, so it did hinder me in that way. I do know some people on here have a harder time with it than me, but I think most of the people do okay with it. You're lucky because you are getting treatment for it now, so I'm sure by the time you are working you'll be just fine [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img].

[Melikasa]

No I think I was ok with it. I had a few moments but really it isn't as bad as school. As buttercup said you are more in control of your time and you can get up and go to the washroom as needed.
The only time I freaked out was when I was working in the pharmacy and I was pregnant, my husband had not been able to find a job. My manager was being and ass and the nausea from the anxiety overacame me and I quit withough thinking.
I worked since I was 16 and volunteered and the emet never interfered with what I had to do.

[jazz]

thanks, that is a relief. I think i would have done what you did Melikasa, I wouldn't have been able to keep my temper.
You are right in saying that there is a lot of freedom to walk out to use the bathroom in schools, although i find it slightly embarassing aving to tell everyone why. People still think i had a nosebleed in my maths test lol.
Did any of you have any sympathy from teachers/ bosses in school or work? Because I'm wondering what the reaction will be when I tell them I have emet

[Melikasa]

I wish I could say but even I didn't know what I had so I wasn't able to say. I have only known about emet having a name for about a year now. I tried to tell my last employer while I was pregnant. About the anxiety but it didn't seem to work. She was a bitch anyways and even the other pharmacist I grew to be friends with agreed. She found any excsuse she could not to work at her store.


I think that is a worse case senario though and not EVERYONE needs to know. If you find that it is bothering you at work (not likely( but if you do it is best to tell your boss and maybe a co worker orthe co workers you are close to so they can help you if you need it.

[juniper]

hey jazz


I comiserate with you on the exam thing- i used to get so nervous and panicky in exams- but the good news is that it got better for me. i think i'm more used to writing exams now and i take lots of Bach flower remedie before i write (dont know if u have it in the UK), its homeopathic stuff that works like a charm, im sure pharmacies will stock something like it. there's all different types to reassure, calm nerves help with nausea etc- and it doesn't do anything bad to your body by taking it!!


When i write exams now we have to sign a book as we leave- are allowed 5 minutes out and only after the last person's arrived back from the bathrooms, and the good news is i survive fine! i still getta little nervous but its totally natural to be nervous and feel sick in that situation.


Just remember you're not alone and you're by no means abnormal! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[sarahx]

I was the same about exams.. in the end because i ran out of an exam, they put me near the door which was next to some toilets so i was allowed to go to the toilet if i felt too bad, which was great, and after that i never had to leave an exam!!! But it was the fact that i could if i wanted to.. control again!


But i never went to college because the few months i was there they didnt care about my phobia/panic attacks and i jst couldnt see the point of doing all the work and not being able to do the exam..?!!


Sarah xxx

[jazz]

that fills me with much more confidence. im hoping i can sit near a loo, even if i don't need it..
Juniper- is that Bachs Rescue Remedy you're thinking of? It's herby, and flowery. I've heard a few emetophobes rate that,so it's definately worth a shot.
I agree with sarah, I'd feel happier if I was in control. I think control counts for a lot. If you were to throw up in exam, you lose all sense of control, and this is possibly whatwe fear the most.
I always feel nervous once nausea settles in. And it's SO embarrasing having to walk out! :'(
Thank you, i will remember in future, I'm NOT crazy, and I'm not alone.