I stumbled upon this forum by accident. It's astonishing to
see that there is a community of people that suffer from Emetophobia, before
now I didn’t know the name of my condition or the fact that I had one! It
appears as if this problem has a wide range of specifics and I don’t know if
the nature of my condition can be helped. The following is my story; aka my cry
for help!
I’ve been suffering from a fear I don’t know the cause of or
solution to for as long as I can remember, my most early memories are from
Elementary school. I’ve never had the courage to admit this to anybody, but my
problem happens like clockwork in tight social situations and has completely
spun out of control... I panic and have a nauseas feeling that’s so
disgustingly intense it causes more panic and fear than I can handle. It hits
me like a brick wall and can come and go on an uncontrollable whim. It’s the
fear of vomiting or getting sick in front of other people that has spun so far out of control that’s its ruining my
life. It’s created who I am; it’s caused me to eliminate myself from every
social situation where the feeling might have the chance of manifesting.
For example;
- I cannot attend ANY classes where I must sit in a room at
a desk with a bunch of other students for any amount of time. This is probably
the biggest event that has blown my fears to astronomical proportions. I have a
ton of bad memories of having the panic/nauseas feeling and freaking out in
class because I don’t know how to take control of my condition during a
lecture.
- I can no longer ride in the car with any friends or family
unless I am the one driving and in control at all times.
- I cannot meet any new people unless it’s something I
arrange and have control over.
- I cannot apply for a job knowing that when I go in for the
interview I will be so uncomfortable in the situation being one-on-one that my
nausea and panic will return.
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- I cannot go to any doctor’s appointment because I know the
inevitable feeling of the fear of vomiting then and there will consume me and
actually CAUSE those feelings.
- If I go anywhere with friends or by myself I make it a
first priority to scope out where all the restrooms are and the easiest way of
accessing them should the feeling arise.
My condition/fear has cost me the lack of any love life, my
job, my education, some friends, and most importantly missing out on a lot of
life’s experiences. I’m really at a loss for words. I hope I’ve come to the
right place and pray that help exists as this monster is consuming me.
Thank you.