OT: Parents Divorcing

[hippybamagirl]

I am an adult, and I just found out that my parents have separated. I am devestated by the news. People seem to think that I should be OK with everything since I am an adult, financially independent, and no longer live at home. I am hardly OK. Just wondering if anyone else's parents split up with they were adults?

[falon_17]

I was 17 when my parents divorced...don't know how much of an adult a 17 year old is, but anyway...I really was fine with it. My parents were horrible together, married too young, I really don't like my dad...but in your situation it's different. Its hard adjusting to any kind of change. Did you see it coming or is this unexpected? Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel. That's a very personal, private thing. Take your time in adjusting and know that we're here for you through it. Even though I knew my parents' divorce was for the best, there were still hardships involved. My dad became suicidal, my mom was immediately dating again, and my little brother really struggled with it. So no matter how you take the news, there's still obstacles to overcome. Don't hesitate to talk to us. I'm sure just about all of us have experienced divorce in one way or another.

[hippybamagirl]

It was completely unexpected, which is maybe why it is so difficult. I can't stop crying. This is horrible. I did not know I could feel this bad.

[falon_17]

I'm so sorry! Please try to cheer up. I know it may not seem like it right now, butthiscould be for the best. I don't know your parents' situation but I'm sure there's a very good reason for this divorce. Maybe you could talk to them and let them know how you're feeling and find out what happened, how they came to this decision...they surely don't want to see you suffer and will do their best to make this as easy as possible for you. If they explain the situation to you maybe it will help.

[65roses]

My parents split up when I was 18, it was very difficult. Just with any other loss, take the time to grieve, call a grief hotline if you need to, they can walk you through the steps. There is no timeline on grief, so don't think you need to "be over it" or "cheer up".


We're here for you.

[luna33]

Mine split when I was 18. Iwas living away at collegebutit was the most horrible year of my life. It is weird how much it hurts even when you're mostly grown up, but it does. And of course it makes sense to be sad--it's the end of your family as you know it. My parents' divorce was sudden too. Everything seemed perfectuntil my disgusting father decided to have an affair with one of his students and leave my mom and her 4 kids (3 still at home) .Even worse, he married her. It still upsets me and I'm 36 now, but things are a lot better, and after the dust settles, things will be better for you, too.

[ontariogirl]

I am really sorry about your parents. I don't think it really matters at what age you are when something like this happens, it effects you.
My parents have been married for 41 years, I am 40 and if something like that happened I would be very upset.
I am so sorry you are going through this.

[sillygirl]

I am almost 25 and my parents are in the process of divorcing. I know it's coming soon, so maybe that has made it a little easier on me. I have a sister that is a senior in high school, and as soon as she graduates I think they are going to call it quits. I guess, since it hasn't happened officially yet, it hasn't affected me too much, but I'm sure it will hit harder when it does happen in the next few months. In a way I am glad because I know they could both be happier with someone else, but I am thinking about my baby now (I am almost 17 weeks pregnant) and how hard it's going to be now for holidays, birthdays, etc. For my baby's first Christmas I am goin to have to decide whether we spend it with my mom or my dad. That's going to be really tough. I agree with what everyone else has said. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel about it. Adult or not, they are still your parents and you have every right to be upset. I hope things gets better for you.

[SimplyMe]

I was only 2 when my parents divorced so I can't speak from experience but I have always heard the older you are the harder it is. I'm really sorry you are going thru this and you can definitely come here to vent anytime you want. Like others said don't let people tell you how you should feel. Of course you are upset no matter what age and you have every right to feel that way. I guess people figure since you won't have to be there int he house etc it should be easier but really it's probably harder. I hope you are able to talk to them and figure some things out.