new girl needs help.

[karenina]

So it's 2:23 AM. I'm at my friend's house and I just joined this website because he found it for me. The reason I'm at his house is because today my brother was throwing up in the bathroom and I started freaking out. When things like this happen,I start shaking immensely and I can't even control it. I cry so hard and feel like there's nowhere I can go to escape it. And then it gets to my head and I start thinking I feel sick too.


I was reading that most people have reasons for why they developed this phobia. But honestly, for as long as I can remember I was so scared of it. When I was a little girlI used to pray to God every night that I wouldn't throw up. I haven't thrown up since the 5th grade(I'm now a freshman in college) and I am so afraid of doing it that when I think I might, I always end up crying and shaking.


Last year my brother was going through withdrawls from an addiction and when he was vomiting I felt like there was nothing I could do to get away. My family doesn't understand and seems to think it's just a silly little fear of mine that will pass.I felt so alone because I knew nobody understoodhowincredibly intensethe fear is for me.


The bathroom is right next to my bedroom. Thatvery night when I was laying in bed,my body was shaking and I was upthe entire time. I had to go to school the next morning at8 so I didn't even sleep once. I just sat up in my roomshaking, and then finally when it was time for school I got dressed and left to school. (I would have taken a shower, but I didn't want to even go into the restroom -- that's how bad the fear is!)


Anyway I'm sure this type of story can get redundant.. it's just that I always thought I was so alone on this because none of my friends ever understood me.It's as if I revolve my life around not throwing up. I would just like some ideas on what I can do... what kind oftherapy works.. anythinganybodyhas ever taught you that helps when youstart to freakout about it.


Thanks.. pleaserespond if you have thetime.


-Karenina

[gumdropper1]

Welcome, Karenina. I think when I was a freshman in college was the worst period for my emet. You are not alone. Cheer up and make progress. I haven't vomited since 5th grade either.


Doug

[curly wurly]

Hi karenina.


Welcome to the site. Sorry you feel so alone with this waful phobia. We are all here for you though.


I am sorry that I can not give you the answers you are looking for on therapy or coping when someone v*s, but you are not alone. I freak out as soon as someone even mentions a little stomach ache.


It must have been such a difficult time for you last year when your brother was V*ing when he was going through withdrawals. I really feel for you.


I do not know my reason for the phobia either, but I do know that I can remember just about every incident of myself and other people v*ing since the age of 2.


I hope everything goes alright and your brother is better soon.

[asagao]

You can ask your doctor about the following things: cognitive behavioral therapy, guided imagery, anti-emetic (anti-v* pills), hypnosis (it didn't work for me, but I'm sure it has helped others), exposure therapy (if you do this then I applaud you on it), and if you have a really difficult time concentrating on other things because of this phobia I urge you to ask for a book called Brain Lock by Jeffrey M. Schwartz. It may help you reorganize your thoughts, so the fear won't be quite as domineering.

[crimgoddess]

What I believe is most successful (and what worked for people such as Sage, who was treated successfully and now works as a therapist herself) is cognitive behavioural therapy and exposure therapy.


Cognitive behavioural therapy works to kind of re-program your thought process as it related to vomit/vomitting. A person reinforces their phobia through thinking errors- ie the act of vomitting is horrible and I would rather die than do it, if I vomit I won't be able to breathe or won't be able to stop vomitting, etc- when in reality it is a normal and beneficial bodily function. Having these thinking errors pointed out, and being given things to tell yourself to counteract them, really works to get yourself through rough situations, and eventually change the way you view vomitting altogether. Kind of like a vomit- reality check.


(This is explained more factually an elegantly in a sticky at the top of the treatments section, curtesy of our resident treatment expert Sage[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]).


In regards to exposure therapy- I really do think that it's necessary in order to get over this phobia completely. It's kind of like people who have a fear of public speaking but then get a job that requires it-they may be extremely nervous to the point of panicking the first time they have to do it- but every subsequent time it gets a little easier, until it no longer evokes those emotions. With exposure therapy, you start off small (writing the word down, and viewing stick figuredrawings)- but then eventually move up to pictures and videos once the person is comfortable enough to move up to the next level(as Sage pointed out in a previous post, some people are under the impression that it has to end in the person vomitting themself, which is totally not true). What this does it get you to the point that you have seen it so many times that you are desensitized to the act. I think for many of us, if we see/hear someone vomitting, our first instinct is to run- but if we actually sit down and force ourselves to watch, it would probably work to dispell some of the myths we may have about it, or make us realize that it's not QUITE such a big deal.


I know it may seem completely repulsive or anxiety inducing to be made to watch what you are most afraid of- but the fact that it is done gradually, and in conjunction with other types of therapy really makes it as non-threatening as possible. It's not like on day one of your therapy sessions the doc is going to pull out a video of people vomitting all over the place- you will move at a speed you are comfortable with.


Karenina- I completely emphasize with you. In my first year of university I lived in a dorm with 25 people on our floor- and one bathroom for 14 girls (2 toilets, 2 showers)- there were inevitably vomit episodes and it freaked me out completely. When it got bad (like when my roomate got trashed and was sleeping with the garbage bag next to her bed), I would lie down, put my sleep mask on, and listen to music. That usually helped me to at least calm down and get to sleep.


*amber*

[karenina]

thanks so much to all of you for your help.. it's already made things a lot easier on me just knowing that i'm not entirely crazy.

[jadie]

Hi


I have just also joined the website! It is really reassuring to hear that someone else has the same experiences as me. I constantly feel asthough nobody understands and although my boyfriend is really supportive, he cant grasp some of the things that i feel!


I go through exactly what you do when somebody is sick, sometimes i even lay awake just waiting for someone to be sick...or think that i can hear someone being sick. and i also have real trouble entering the bathroom after i know someone has been sick or if i think some one might of been sick during the night.


I wanted to ask you if you fear anything else that might make you sick, or is it just when other people are sick?


I often feel really scared of eatin meat, or foodsomeone else has cooked (whether it contains meat or not) because im terrified of getting food poisoning. im scared of travelling in case it makes me feel sick...i wont go on cos there are m any more.


I figured because we are both new, it would be nice if we could stay in contact? let eachother know how we are gettin on and maybe offer one another support.


My name is Jade and I am 19.


Jx

[andee]

Welcome to Jade and Karenina. I am fairly new, joined this month, (karenina, we have the same symbol!!)and I feel just like you two. I could not believe anyone felt as I did. This site is great to explore and discover more about yourself and ways to cope. I am currently trying to control this fear that I have had since age 10 by thinking positive, meditating, and realizing that I have given this fear way too much attention in my life!! It is REALLY hard when you are so scared but I have found that the more you think about it, the worse you feel. Take one day at a time or even one hour if needed. And talk to people who you trust. I find talking helps. Your friend sounds great. Best of luck and take care.

[jadie]

Hi Andee.


Thanks very much, i will def visit the site a lot. Its great to know that there are people here to talk to and share experiences with!


Jx