does your emet affect others?

[falon_17]

I have found that my mom gets very frustrated with my emet when it gets bad...she has to take care of my son while I sit and panic to death. Lately I have been talking to my bf about how I'd like to try Xanax just to use during bad attacks. He's kinda upset because he has 2 brothers who are addicted to pills (among other things, the drug problem is horrible where I live) and he's afraid I'll get the same way. But my biggest problem is the way it affects my son...this is so hard to talk about.


The past couple times that my emet has been bad - panic attacks, d*, n*, depression - my son has seen it all. I'll go and lie in bed and won't move, sometimes all day. He'll want me to play, read to him, whatever...and I just can't. There have been times that my son has sat with me in bed and just watched me cry. I can tell by his expression that he doesn't know for sure what's going on, but I can see that he gets concerned. Now if I even make a noise that sounds like I'm crying...a sniffle, anything...he comes over to me and looks at my face. This child is 2 years old. He should never have to see his mother like this. I've told him sometimes "mommy's just sad"...I'm not sure if that's the right thing to say or not. I guess the right thing would be to not let him see me like that in the first place. Since I'vebeen attending church the past month, I've been praying for strength to help me with my son...to not let him see me like this anymore. So far, so good. But I can't help but wonder if I've done real damage to him by letting him see me so upset. I talked to him the night I decided it had to change, and I told him "You know how mommy gets sad sometimes? Well mommy's not going to be sad anymore." I feel like a horrible mom. I am doing better, but is it too late?

[gubba]

I have a4 year old son and I know that he has no clue that I am so fearful of this thing, but I worry every single minute of every day that he will V* or I will or that my husband will call home and tell me he is sick. I panic, but I do it so well now that I can just get messed up inside and hide it outwardly. Now, let me say that I poop a lot from this EMET thing and nerves and my son does know that I go to the potty a lot, but I tell him that I just don't ever get it all out and so I need to go more than him. Also, I wait till he is asleep at night to wind down and calm down and then I start all over in the morning fearful he will be sick. I think about it so much that I know I don't enjoy many things we do, but I do everything to make his life normal so he will never know this phobia exists. My husband is very supportive of me and my mom calms me down, but they both think I am nuts. I know exactly how you feel and I hate it for you and your son, but just remember, we can change ourselves with positive thinking and I am not willing to do the drug thing, but I do think sometimes it may be worth it. Then, I get a slap of reality and I do great for a few days and I decide against the drugs.


Good luck and just know that being an EMET mom is not easy and that we deserve big pats on the back for being double hard workers!!!

[SimplyMe]

Aww, have you considered therapy? Even if just for the anxiety and depression? As for your son, kids seem to pick up things really well so if you "hid" it from him he'd still know soemthing wasn't right w/ mommy. You are doing your best and that's all anyone can do. The fact that you see the problem and are willing to work on it is wonderful and will help you be successful in it!


I don't have children but my emet definitely affects others. It's affected my Mom my entire life! My brother when we were kids, guys I date, firends I'm comfortable telling and even those I'm not because I have backed out of or not done things that I might have had I not been emet. So, yeah I think that one of the worse things about it emet is how many other people it directly or indirectly affects and the guilt that goes w/ it. But you know what everyone has something that makes them not who they want to be. Someone afraid of spiders might affect others just as well so we shouldnt' be so hard on ourselves. Feel better!