BF sv, freaking out, awake all night!

[kazzstrack]

Hi everyone,

I'm at the end of my tether. Had a lovely evening with my partner, in my new house (moved in on the 29th), and we went to bed fine, comfy cozy. Then at around 2am I was woken by him slamming the toilet seat and - well - things happened. Both horrors, both ends.

I absolutely freaked. Desperately tried to be supportive and got him a glass of tepid water to sip, and a hot water bottle, but I can't stop shaking and the n* is unbearable. In the end I ran out (literally) to the shops to buy some bleach, as he has v* all over my bathtub - even though it was the middle of the night and there's ice everywhere - it has been snowing here.

When I got home again, he was still where I left him in bed, so I started cleaning the toilet. Just as I finished that part, he said he needed it again, and proceeded to v* and d* again. I freaked out even worse than the first time - I'm now glued to the sofa bed downstairs, reading every article I can on emet, with headphones on, blasting calming meditation music (IT ISN'T HELPING). Poor guy is upstairs, alone, having a terrible time of things. I feel like an absolute failure, and I just want to make it all better for him, but now I'm terrified (shaking, still, 3 hours later) that I'm going to catch something!!! Also no idea if I will ever be able to face my bathroom again.

Please please help. I don't know what to do. I want to just run - I keep going to stand outside in the cold because it helps, but I can't keep this up. Sooner or later I will have to go upstairs again and face the music

[cmu315]

Oh gosh. This sounds like a nightmare! Do you live together, or are you able to send him home once he is no longer sick? I would camp out in a different room and use a different bathroom until he goes (if you don’t live together.) Then wash and bleach the heck out of everything!

[jmoore10]

Oh dear, that sounds positively terrifying. Poor him and poor you
Truth be told, there isn't much you can do at this point other than wait for him to stop being sick before disinfecting again. Don't feel too badly about not being there-hes a grown man. I would also venture a guess that most adults wouldn't want someone next to them when it's coming out of both ends!
Hang in there, practice good hygiene and disinfect the HELL out of both the bed and bathrooms. Keep us updated on how he's doing.
Sending you positive thoughts!

[kazzstrack]

Thank you for the replies - it has been an absolute horror, but things are looking a bit brighter now. I had a few triumphs along the way.. I did run in the opposite direction a few times (but decided to put my escapism to practical use and ran to the shops to buy more disinfectant wipes and marigolds!) I also managed to take him tea, water, boiled ginger, and some medication - imodium, diorolyte etc. Without shaking too much, and/or crying. I also.. somehow.. possibly while running high on adrenaline after yet another panic attack.. managed to clean the bath tub. And it was rather well "used", so I'm actually really proud of myself.

He is looking much better, seeing him so bad scared me in other ways too, because I have never seen ANYBODY so pale. His lips were blue. It was awful. At one point, I was sat outside on the floor, in the ice and slushy snow, shaking and freaking out on the phone to NHS 111 because I genuinely cracked and thought I couldn't cope anymore. I have come to the conclusion that night time and darkness make EVERYTHING seem much much worse.. does anyone else get that? My anxiety and panic attacks have always been so much worse at night, even as a kid. Hmm.

Anyway, he's on the mend. He's sort of stuck here with me now until he can actually get up and move around comfortably - which is playing havoc with my head because all I want to do is CLEAN!!!! I've basically given him the run of the upstairs - I should clarify, I live alone in a one bedroom, tiny cottage. He was just visiting when he got ill. The downstairs is small, but open plan - kitchen and sofa, then the bathroom and bedroom are upstairs. Sadly, there's no way of quarantining anyone!!! It's all sort of free flowing. I've just opened every window possible, and lit candles/put automatic air fresheners everywhere - and I'm soaking all the cups and plates he has used in the sink in boiled water and sanitiser. I just want to bleach everything, but I'm trying to calm down and tell myself that there is absolutely no point until he has gone home, and that probably won't be until tomorrow at the earliest.

Sadly, I've been doing the age-old emet thing of starving myself since he first got ill. Yayy. Appetite has gone anyway, and I know I shouldn't be doing it (I actually trained as a nurse for 2 years but that still doesn't help me be rational!!! This phobia is so ridiculous at times).

He has just mentioned that he was at a kids birthday party on the 9th, so I'm wondering if actually he has picked up an SV*. It sort of falls in with the 48 hour incubation period. So now, of course, I am sitting here and waiting for my own doom! ARGH

[thecheesecake17]

So, you totally thrashed me on this one. Exact thing happened to my ex few years back and I lasted two hours with him and the panic hangover caused me to go to hospital due to extreme weight loss.

I have a feeling you'll be fine, you sound like a diligent cleaner ! Plus you've also been nursing him AND going out in the ice.. plusss you wrote the last post yesterday and if you're reading this feeling fine I think you're free of any contagiousness.. did he mention anyone who was sick at the party??

I hope both you and him are ok

[Srk2756]

So glad you're okay so far! I've been waiting for you to post to see if you're okay. Glad he's feeling better and that you've had some triumphs!

[kazzstrack]

I kept trying to post yesterday but the site wouldn't load! I'm still OK, I woke up yesterday morning feeling really n* and shivery, and thought that was it, I was doomed, but I put my headphones on and listened to an antianxiety track on YouTube and managed to fall back asleep, so it must have just been the panic. Woke up today feeling fine, and he went home yesterday afternoon feeling better.

I've almost bleached the entire house. Had a daft moment where I really loathed this stupid phobia - I genuinely cleaned my bottle of bleach with bleach. So ridiculous.

Since the party, 3 other people got s* on Monday night the same as him, and one person on Wednesday (but that seems a bit of a long time after to be related). Nobody there was ill as far as they knew.

[kazzstrack]

Oh wait, he's just told me that the people who got ill were at a different party with him, not the one on the 9th. Apparently he went round his friends for a Christmas meal on Sunday night! So he and a few of the others got ill 24 hours after.. except for the one person who fell ill on Wednesday.. hmm.. that sounds a bit more like food poisoning right?

[kazzstrack]

The poor guy was so s* it made his ears pop, and now he has vertigo and can't stand up straight I'm worried because this doesn't sound like anything I've heard of before. Could it just be because he was so poorly?

[kazzstrack]

Help.. Guys.. Do you know if starting to eat again after a few days of not can cause really bad bowel cramps? Or am I doomed :/ I ate some rice cakes and made a banana cacao smoothie to sip but that's all I've had today. No n* just pain, really low on the left of my abdomen. Sort of like period pain, but not.

[thecheesecake17]

You're fine (: that sounds like weird pain I get for no reason, almost like hormonal! How are you now?

[cmu315]

I’m curious how you are as well, since it has been one week. If you made it out of this ok, I think it will get a lot of us hope!!

[ollie.xox]

Hey i know this is super late but would love to know if you made it out okay! That pain you had in your stomach is wind because you didn't eat for a few days if you ever get it again now you know what it is. Totally normal after not eating for a while, it can be super painful and concerning but its just gas/wind