Mom of Emet needs help

[kbsmom]

Hello all. I am new to the forum and this is my first time to post. My daughter has not been officially diagnosed with emetophobia (herpediatrician thinks it is generalized anxiety disorder)but there is no doubt in my mind she has it. About age five she had a terrible stomach flu and has worried daily since that it will happen again (she is almost nine now). Each night she says repeatedly "she feels like it" (this is her way of avoiding saying the v word). Herdad andI reassure her and eventually she falls asleep. She never eats the lunch I send her to school and comes home feeling terrible because she is so hungry.She cannot spend the night away from home and isextremely anxious if I am not with her at bedtime (even if herDadiswith her). My heart breaks for her.
Four days ago, she had another stomach bug and had to v several times. She handled that part amazingly well. Since the stomach bug, she has had little to nothing to eat. Thank God, she is still drinking water. My question is how do I help her. I have reassured her, begged her, offered her anything she wants to eat--but nothing seems to help. I want to do the right thing and not make it worse for her. Have any of you with Emet experienced this? Can you offer any suggestions for how I can get her to eat? I don't know how much longer she can go on like this.

Thanks for your help.


.

[SimplyMe]

Welcome to the site! Sage (our resident expert and cured emet) has posted a wonderful post under the treatments thread about finding help and also something to print out for her doctor/therapist. I wish at 9 I would have known (or someone would have but it was before the internet),it's great you are figuring out what it is when she is so young! Will she at least drink something like Ensure or Pedialite or both? Do you think youc ould get her to start off w/ a little bit of food and buold up? I was about her age when I refused to eat at school ... period. i was in the afterschool care and wouldn't eat until after 5 so I totally understand the coming home os hungry. I was also very dependent on my Mom. I think you're doing a wonderful job and by not losing your temper w/ her (which I'm sure you know this is frustrating). I would suggest trying to get her some therapy. I hope this helps, I know it isn't much. If you want to chat feel free to IM, PM or email!

[peachykeen]

I wish I had a parent that was as observant as you! You're going to
be able to do so much to help your little girl get through this as she is
still so young. Find a therapist that is experienced with this and get
your dd an appointment as soon as possible. As hard as this is going
to be for you to hear, her fear is so intense that no amount of
coaxing and pleading is likely to convince her to eat if she doesn't
want to. When I'm in the clutches of that fear I get totally irrational -
offer me bread and water, and I'm still convinced I'll get food
poisoning or v* from it. Especially since she was just ill days ago it's
still fresh in her mind. If she says any food sounds good, move the
earth to get it for her - anything if she's willing to eat. It's good that
she's still drinking though. Maybe some of the Ensure drinks to get
some nutrients into her? Poor baby - I really feel for her. Bless you
for paying good enough attention to this and being willing to help her
- you're on the right track to saving her a lifetime of fear.

[redapple]

Welcome to the site! have a look at sage's stuff and ask your
pediatrician to refer your daughter to a therapist. seeing a
therapist would've been a godsend to me when i was a little girl.
I'm so glad you're taking the initiative to help her!

[samara's on tv]

Yes definately think about finding a therapist. I think that my Emet might have stopped if I was treated for it at a young age. As it is, it's just gotten worse. I remember being little and running away from my sisters when they would get sick. My parents would just laugh and tell me I was over reacting...they still do that TO THIS DAY. Definately read Sage's stuff...and if your daughter says that she will eat something, get her WHATEVER she wants. I was like that too when I would get a stomach virus, I wouldn't eat or even DRINK anything for a few days afterward. It's nice to see a parent who actually wants to help and do reasearch and such. Good luck with everything.


~Monica

[happyteacher]

Oh my kbsmom, your daughter sounds just like me as a child!


Please get her some professional help as soon as possible! You sound like such a great and supportive mom and I know you could probably save your child a lifetime of anxiety if you break that avoidance behaviours NOW before they become engrained in her life. I am now trying to break 23 years of this.





happyteacher

[sage]

Great advice, guys!


You might also want to consider family counselling, rather than assuming the problem is 100% with the child. I mean, lots of kids get the flu, and vomit, and they don't end up with phobias. Perhaps some family stress is getting sort of "channelled" into her...could be anything - death of a grandparent, separation from mom, parental conflict, bullying sibling, or other illness in the family.


If so, family counselling, and "de-focussing the child" will help a lot.


And more simply, if begging her, reassuring her, and offering her anything in order to eat isn't working then...stop doing that. Sorry to sound overly simplistic, but honestly - if it's not working then why are you doing it?


I know it's tough to see your child anxious (and I have 3 children, grown now, so I understand), however YOU being anxious is only making matters worse. A child is a "human animal" and will not starve herself to death. If she's hungry, she'll eat. Your "calm, cool and collected self" will be the biggest asset to her in this troubled time.

[dadhere]

Hello kbsmom, I have a 12 year old son who was diagnosed with emet about two years ago but has had the symptoms for about five years. It started after we came back from vacationing in Mexico and He and I became violently ill.Fortunately we recovered but the thoughts of theincident still haunts him. Hehas beenunder the care of a psycologist ( who he feels very comfortable with ) for approximately three months and he is doing much better.Most days are great, some not so great, but he is learning to cope. We also told his 6th gradeteacher who allows him to go outside of the classroom when he feels anxious.My wife usually makes his lunch but on the days that he buys lunch, his teacher lets him gotothe cafeteriaa few minutes early so that he can avoid some of the crowd.I believe that since he knows that his teacher is aware of his situation andgives him time to re-group, he feels more at ease about beingat school. I talked to him about the"Heirarchy" method and he is willing to try it. Unfortunately something happened to the Site. Anyway, I wish you the very best of luck with your daughter.&nb sp;