Is it that easy to let go????

[lilyann]

I was wondering if anyone else out there has had this experience. I have been emet since I was 5 years old and I'm now 31. I have gone 11 years without v* up until this past Christmas Eve, then I have v* twice since then. A month ago, I decided I wanted to get over this phobia, even if it meant I had to v* to accomplish it. I didn't think it would be so easy to let my defenses down and it has been scary but also a relief. I'm also 5 months pregnant. It could be the morning sickness, but this is the first I've v* with this pregnancy and I never v* with my 1st pregnancy 7 years ago. I know I've trained myself well not to v*. Just didn't know it would be so easy to let go of all that training when I put my mind to it and decided to let it go. Does this mean that since I am not trying to control it anymore that I might v* more often? It's like I'm picking up where I left off with the senses of that 5 year old I was when I got this phobia.

[chicajojobe]

Well anti-v* defenses down or not you aren't exactly just picking up where you left off, no.



No matter who you are emet or non-emet you'll still be more prone to v*ing at 5 then you will be at 31.



I have to admit though that what you described is one reason why I
haven't tired to get myself "cured". You said that since you decided to
v*, you have twice in just a few weeks. I feel like if convince myself
not to care if I v* it means I will all the time!

[crimgoddess]

I'll post what Sage posted on a topic where someone raised a similar concern:


<<<Just to affirm that your thinking is quite common to emetophobes. I remember thinking the same thing at one time. It's not really sabotaging your treatment....but it is a cognition that makes no sense, and needs to be restructured. This is one benefit of cognitive therapy. While the logic alone won't cure you, it is an important first step. Here are some positive cognitions:


1) vomiting is normal, natural and neutral. It is not dangerous, or something to be feared.


2) Your goal is to stop fearing vomiting, not to prevent vomiting.


3) Once you no longer fear vomiting, you will be a completely different person - just as normal as everyone else. Everyone else does not vomit more, or more often, or in public except in unusually and extremely rare circumstances. Being cured will NOT mean you are any more likely to vomit than you are now.


4) Being "not cured" is ruining your life.


5) Being cured is wonderful, liberating, joyful, and peace-filled. It is a goal that has nothing negative about it.


Hope this helps a little! Maybe keep saying stuff like this over to yourself about a million times. Really think it through, then convince yourself of it.>>>>>


From my personal experience- Although I would say that I maybe vomit more than when I had a phobia of myself vomitting- it's not a source of anxiety. It doesn't matter if I vomit more or less, because even though it's unpleasant, I see that it isn't something to be feared. Whereas before I refused to let myself give in (which didnt always work)- I now realize that if my nausea is severe and last for a long period of time, it is actually better to vomit than to stay in that excruciating state for a longer period of time.


Honestly- getting over this aspect of my phobia was such a positive. Worrying about vomitting more is totally your phobia talking- and if you get help and manage to beat it, it becomes almost irrelevant.


*amber*

[lilyann]

Thanks, Amber! That was really helpful and I understand what Sage is saying. It is definitely my goal to not fear vomiting and to stop trying to prevent it if I feel it is going to happen.