For all moms out there-am I a freak??

[donna1216]

Okay fellow mommies, as some of you know, my husband works mainly at night, and always has, but lately I have been panicking when he leaves, because I am afraid my kids are going to v***. My kids v* more than any other kids I know and it has made my emet worse than it has ever been, the exposure hasn't desensitized me to it. I don't want to be alone with my kids at night!!!! Is this just so wrong of me?? Is there ever going to be a period of more than 2 mos. where my kids go without v'ing???? Ever since they started doing it so frequently, I've felt like fighting the urge to run from them!! I don't want them kissing me other than on the cheek, I won't share food or drinks w/ them any more. I feel like a horrible mother, although they don't realize any of this. I feel like I am distancing myself from the girls (not Aidan) just because I am afraid that they are going to start throwing up at any given moment!!!

[purpleteacher]

It doesn't make you a bad mom at all, it just makes motherhood a little more challenging.I don't have kids, but I work with hundreds of them a week as a teacher. I love them and I care about them and I hate to see them sick, but I have to remember that there is a bigger picture involved --- them being sick isn't the most important part of that picture, providing them with the best education possible is the focus.


Your focus as mother should be to do whatever you can for kids and if you have trouble with them being sick, then that is okay too... and you kids won't hate you for it. Kids need to know their parents are human and that they have fears too. It is how parents handle and work through their fears as parents is what kids need to see most in action. Your kids know you don't like their V*, but you need to make it clear that it isn't that you don't like THEM - rather you don't like it when they are sick. It is hard for you to see them sick because you love them so much. Yet we have to do things out of love, not out of fear, at least when it has to do with our children.

[swiftette]

Oh my God-that could have been my post Donna. Lately, I've been in a constant state of fear-certain that one of them will bring home an sv* from school. I've had to explain it to them just as purple teacher said that it is'nt them but I have a fear of v*. It does'nt make me feel much better though-I still feel so guilty.

[jennyleigh1975]

Donna, you are not alone. I could have written your post. My husband works at night also. I dont share food or drinks with my children, I only kiss them on the cheek, and only let them do the same to me.

I certainly dont think you are a freak, Im right there with ya!!

[tayda]

I think that if Anthony was a v*er.... then I would be the same way. When I KNOW he is s* .. even w/ a cough... I won't share food with him, I make him wash his hands (and I wash mine)... and we do cheek/forehead kisses.. (in which I wash my face soon afterwards)...


I mean, I want to avoid being s* if I can... and usually I get the colds.. and it's not so bad.. but w/ v*... yeah.... I'm similar

[donna1216]

Thank you all so much, I just want to know what is wrong with their tummies!!! Haley was sick last Jan. (a year ago tonight, for her third b-day, tomorrow is her 4th b-day), then again right after Valentine's Day, Logan was sick in Feb. for her birthday, they were both sick in May, Logan was sick in August, haley was sick in September, Logan was sick last month, do any of your kids get ill this often???


I am just concerned about my behavior, because I wasn't even like this 3 years ago when they spent the whole winter v'ing, I'm getting worse!!!

[belle]

I am 31 weeks pregnant and do worry how I am going to handle if - when she gets ill [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]You are not a bad mom at all! Neither will I be because of our phobia. I try tofocus onall the good things I can do with her and for her and that helps a bit.

[falon_17]

donna, I'm exactly the same way with my 2 year old. He goes to day-care while I'm at class and I'm terrified every day when I pick him up thinking that he got something while he was there. I'm so sorry to hear that your children v* a lot. Mine doesn't *knock on wood* thank God, but if he did I believe it would desensitize me. I'm always alone with my son at night, everyone here works the night shift, but I get more scared that I will be the one to get sick and then who will take care of my son? But I feel like a horrible mother too. Just remember that the fact that you worry about your kids makes you a good mom.

[gubba]

My son V*'s a lot as well and I do the same thing. I freak out all night even with my husband home and I never kiss him on the mouth only the cheek and I have never once shared a bite of food with him. He has no clue that I hate V* he just thinks that I share no ones food and that is fine with him.


If you are a bad mom...I am right there with you!!!!

[purpleteacher]

I don't do the sharing of food thing either --- when babysitting either. I am scared of how I am going to handle that when I have my own children. I cannot stand it when babies and younger children stick things into my mouth.

[donna1216]

I know that there are non emets who do the same thing, not sharing food, etc.I don't even like for them to breathe in my face, and I have only gotten this way in the past year or so. When they were younger, I didn't worry about washing my hands after diaper changes or butt wiping [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img], but now I Purell them all the time, and after I come in contact with their saliva. I freak out if they spit at each other (even playing around), I don't want them in Aidan's face or sticking things in his mouth for fear of themgiving him a bug. I thought as I got older and more experienced at mothering that I would get better. When Logan was 10 mos. old and v'ed all day on Christmas, I didn't freak out at all, when she was on antibiotics for that illness (double ear infection) and the med. mnade her throw up, I was calm, but now after all of these SV's--especially the one 3 yrs. ago, then the one Logan had last Feb., I have become a fruit cake!!!!


I'm trying to listen to Jesus--and not worry, but I can't!!!!!!

[dord]

Donna,


I think it sounds like they are catching way more than they should. What does their doctor say? Do they think it's normal to catch that many stomach viruses? Can you get your girls to take vitamins? They have the gumball ones and of course good old Flintstones. Also, how about trying to get them to eat yogurt which is really good for out digestive systems. I feel for you, I'd be going nuts too! I know you wrote about anti-anxiety medications and I think you should ask your doctor about them, they helped me so much when I needed them (I took Celexa but there's a new one called Lexapro).

[ontariogirl]

Donna you are not a fruit cake. I think it is pretty amazing that us emets remember when our family members have been sick, right to the date and year. Last year on New Years Eve Justin had the Norwalk virus.
I don't kiss my kids on the lips always on the cheek, and don't share food or drinks with them. With Justin being in college I worry about him with all the virus's but he is fine. Tyler, I can tell you the last time he was sick and I do worry especially at night. Don't put yourself down, you are a great MOM! Look at what I had done before the Christmas break, keeping my son home for the fear he would be sick for Christmas. All emet Moms are great Moms, we are no different from non emet Moms! We love and care for our kids 110%.

[kate1966]

Donna, you are not a bad mom...not at all...i would be freaking out if my kids got sick as much as yours does...it seems like an awful lot of sv's.....have you talked to your doctor about this...it just doesn't seem right to be sick that much....but i know that you must feel helpless.....my husband worked 3rd shift for many many years and i lived in fear....now after 15 yrs of 3rd he is finally on 1st....but now my fear is getting that phone call during the day that one of mine is sick...luckily they are 12 and 15 now....and don't get sick as often...but the fear is still there and it is very real. I know that i put myself down a whole lot when i am thinking about one of mine getting sick. I don't share food and drink usually but sometimes....not if they are sick. We all here understand what you are going through now and i promise you that you are not a bad mom and you are not nuts or fruity.....you are just going through a hard time and it will get better...how old are your kids? I hope that you are feeling somewhat better now....like someone else said...check into getting some anti-anxiety meds...i love xanax...i take them and they calm me down so much.....they really do help....Kate

[donna1216]

I turned into a basket case again last night, after we got home from Haley's birthday dinner and I was upstairs w/ the baby, 1/2 watching Law & Order. 1/2 dozing off, Logan came upstairs and said she was going to throw up, Greg was home with her, but she wanted me, too, so I came downstairs as she was going into the bathroom to stand over the toilet, she never v'ed, but she was up late feeling bad, AGAIN!!!! It's at these times I want to trade her in for a kid with a normal stomach---that is a joke, really!!![img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[swiftette]

Oh no! Theres' nothing worse than being nice and relaxed and then being woken up by hearing"I'm gonna V*"! Is she okay now-Ihope?

[donna1216]

She's ok, my nerves are shot, however!!! She didn't v, but she almost did!!