Ugh.. So mad

[tink]

So I came into work today, and there is a little girl sitting at our confrence table coloring. Hmm, weird. I ask around and find out she is one of the employees kids, and she was sent home sick. Doesnt that usually mean they v*ed or they have a fever?? UGH! I am so frustrated.. The worst part is I am one of the only women in the office and I just know they will want me to look after her if something happens. I hope she doesnt v* or they will see the bad side of me come out quick. I am soooo pissed right now. What the hell is he thinking. Thanks for exposing everyone buddy...

Grrr. [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]

--Kim

[babygap5]

Maybe the little girl "faked" it. Maybe she is perfectly fine and just didn't want to go to school. As for why her dad brought her to work, he probably didn't have anyone else to watch her and didn't want to lose a day off from work to stay home with her. Maybe he doesn't think she is sick, it's possible that's the reason why she is there coloring instead of being at home in bed.

[crimgoddess]

Kids could be sent home sick for a myriad of reasons- some schools have a zero-tolerancepolicy when it comes to fevers. If you get sent to the nurse and they take your temperature and it's above normal, you can be sent home, no matter if they have any symptoms or not. Could just be a cold or the sniffles. Could even be as babygap suggested- she could have said she didn't feel well in the morning, or told someone at school she didn't feel well- and it turns out she's fine.


Kids get sent home 'sick' for a lot of reasons- not all related to vomitting. Don't let yourself get worried about the worst case scenario, when it may be far from reality.


*amber*

[tink]

But they dont need to bring them here!!! WTH??

And she is sick, making the horrible coughing choking sound. I work very hard at not being around sick people, and I just think it is wrong to bring a child into a workplace and exposing their germs to everyone.

--Kim

[babygap5]

Yes it is wrong to bring a sick child to work, but, try to think of it from the parent's perspective. He may not be able to afford taking a day off to be home with her, and, even though she has a nasty cough, it could be just a head cold. I understand your anger, but try to have a little sympathy for the child who feels lousy with this horrible cough. If you take the proper precautions, like keeping yourdistance from her as best you can, i'm sure you will be fine.

[crimgoddess]

I'm with babygap....it sucks from your perpective, but I'm pretty sure it's not the ideal situation for the parent either I'm sure he would ratherhis childbe at home, or with someone as opposed to his place of work. When they get sent home, it's hard to make plans spur-of-the-moment, and sometimes you have to improvise.


Hopefully she will feel better soon, and you will do what you need to do to remain illness free


*amber*

[tink]

OK. Thanks guys!

[tink]

She v*ed.. Sigh.

I'm sorry if I sound selfish, but it really upsets me that this is happening. I just dont understand. [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

--Kim

[crimgoddess]

It is definitely an upsetting situation, especially from the perspective of someone with this phobia. But, sometimes things like this are beyond any of our control- hell, it may have even been beyond the control of the kid's father if he had no other choice but to bring her in. Your anger is justified- but you can only be angered that everyone has found themselves in this situation. I actually feel sorry for the little girl- imagine throwing up at dad's work!


If she was coughing a lot, it may be that, that made her vomit. I know that when I start coughing and can't stop, that often results. Hopefully someone managed to get her cleaned up, and she is able to go home soon


*amber*

[tink]

Oh man.. I was talking to the dad, and he said the only reason he has her here is beause he is pissed that his wife cant take her. So he is keeping her here to prove a point to his wife (that he cant leave). Yikes. He does have lots of sick time (I handle that for the office) and the project he is on is not on a deadline.

The girl seems better, I think it was just her cough. She made it to the bathroom fine. But she is still here. I can hear her, but not see her. I hope this is just for today.

--Kim

[purpleteacher]

Sometimes that is all parents can do when their child is sick. I have known teachers to pick up their kids from other schools and put them in the back of their OWN classroom at school on a mat or blanket when they couldn't find anyone else to stay with their sick child at home. When the child wakes up sick, the story is usually different... but when it happens during the day - sometimes it just isn't possible to give the child another place to stay.


Sorry this is happening. If anything, I would be concerned for the child and if I had time during a break - I would print out some coloring sheets for her on the computer or bring her a Sprite from the work-room or something. I would do my best to cheer her up, I mean, she doesn't want to be there either and a little encouragment from other people in the office might cheer her up. It isn't her fault and she doesn't deserve a cold shoulder from anyone. I think her parents are doing enough to be mean to her... It is a shame she is stuck in the middle.

[2jo2]

WTF... This would piss me off too, not being mad at the child, but at the childish father. Prove a point some other way, not by making your kid sit at your office when she's sick.


What is wrong with people??!! I don't have kids, and never was put in the situation when I was ill (the few times that I was) as a kid... my mom could take sick time herself and I had grandparents to take me, so maybe I'm not the right one to be commenting on this, but this is just NOT right. I think it must be an American thing, I mean, what happens if this pandemic crap happens like they're saying? THIS is the exact reason diseases would spread so quickly, because sh*t like this goes on, with husbands needing to make a point to their wife, or want to appear like they're super-worker or something.


Sorry for the rant, but I guess it's just my opinion and I can't find it in me to feel sorry for the dad whatsoever. Shouldn't there be a game plan for parents for times like this??? I don't know, maybe I'm naive on this...

[tink]

Yes, I am not mad at the girl at all, I realize it isnt her fault. I wish I wasnt such a coward, and could check on her. But I am really terrified of seeing/hearing something. This is why I dont have kids and never will. I am very realistic about my ability to cope.

Believe me, I am more than pissed at the father. Really not a cool thing to do for anybody. Poor thing doesnt want to be here, and none of us want to get sick either. And now I have to clean up the freakin office. Not going to the bathroom though. Cleaning crew can deal with that, and I can avoid it for the rest of the week.

I am hoping they come up with a better plan tomorrow for everyones sake. Thanks for listening.

--Kim

[crimgoddess]

<<Sorry for the rant, but I guess it's just my opinion and I can't find it in me to feel sorry for the dad whatsoever. Shouldn't there be a game plan for parents for times like this??? I don't know, maybe I'm naive on this... >>


Sometimes there is- sometimes there isn't. I remember being brought on a photoshoot with my mom while sick, because my grandparents were busy and she couldn't find someone to watch me on short notice. I also had to wait at my parents work a few times while they arranged for someone to pick me up. It's easier when they know the night beforehand that they are too sick to go to school the next day- but if it's a situation where they are being sent home, it sometimes makes things a bit more problematic (as mentioned by purpleteacher).


I too hope for your sake and the child's sake that they have a better plan for tomorrow!


*amber*

[dord]

As a Mom I think it's awful not to take your child home and take care of them. I have never understood the "I can't" frame of mind. You made the decision to have kids now take care of them. I feel sorry for the little girl feeling sick and instead of being in the comfort of home she's got to sit at Dad's work, how selfish of him. Even if I had to loose a days pay I would take my sick child home and comfort them!

[stella9]

Here, here --- Dord.

[crystalmom]

I agree with dord...


what a lousy dad! using his kid to get at his wife! will some parents never learn! JERK!


Crystal

[tink]

Yes, it was a really lousy situation all around. And guess what? I am home sick with the flu today. (regular) Blah... Not happy.

--Kim

[crimgoddess]

As a Mom I think it's awful not to take your child home and take care of them. I have never understood the "I can't" frame of mind. You made the decision to have kids now take care of them. I feel sorry for the little girl feeling sick and instead of being in the comfort of home she's got to sit at Dad's work, how selfish of him. Even if I had to loose a days pay I would take my sick child home and comfort them!

Really evaluate the statement "You made the decision to have kids now take care of them". If you were to take this literally, it would imply that many emetophobics shouldnt have children because they are incapable of taking care of them when they are sick due to their phobia.


I find some of what you wrote somewhat elitist. Obviouslyif you arewell enough off economically to not have to worry about getting fired, not getting paid for a day, etc., then by all means take a day off. If the man at Tink's work could have taken a sick day and didn't- then in my opinion he didnt make the right choice. But, its really not thateasyfor everyone, and I dont think situations such as these should be simplified and generalized.


Maybe I'm especially sensitive because Iwas born and raised in anarea that is not well off economically, and the average person only has a highschool education (if that)- I have witnessed people being told that if they didnt show up for work, they would be fired (no matter what reason), or that they were not 'allowed' to leavework (or in some cases they were the only ones working-had to wait for someone to show up and relieve them).Unemployment rates are really high, so the employer will have no problem filling in the post if they are fired.


I also know many people who literally live paycheck to paycheck-not paying a utility bill,or not being able to buy groceries because you're short a day's pay makes it REALLY hard to be a good parent. This unfortunately is the reality for many parents- especially single parents who do not receive support from the other party.


It is almost as though you are implying that becausesomeone can't be with their kid when they are sick, they are subpar as a parent. I'm sure that most parents would RATHER be home to take care of their sick offspring, but there other issues at hand. There were a few times when my parents couldn't just drop everything when I was sick- which sometimes resulted in me having to go with them somewhere, or waiting with them at work until someone could pick me up. I dont think this is any way reflects their parenting abilities- I think I turned out pretty damned good actually.


I just dont think the issue is that black and white. And like I said, maybe I'm somewhat biased because of where I came from.


*amber*Edited by: crimgoddess

[crystalmom]

Amber...I agree with everything you said. However, tink said that this dad was only doing this to piss his wife off. Felt she should take the day off, not him. So, in revenge mode, he takes his sick kid to work with him to upset her.


No matter what, it's this little girl who had to suffer today. The last place I would want to be is my dad's office if I was unwell, poor thing.


It is unfortunate how some of us are parents with emet. I mean, you are not NOT going to have kids because of a different phobia (like fear of spiders or thunderstorms) but it is a tough issue. I am one of those mom's who deal with what I have to, then go in the bathroom and freak out. Some run. Literally. I think, that as long as those kids are being taken care of, that is the main thing. I mean really, how many days in an 18 year span is a child going have a sv?? Maybe 20-30. At the very most. In like 6574 days. Pretty small percentage if you ask me. I cannot wait to have another. Even though I KNOW I will get m/s and v*. I know it. I did with Isaac, and I know it will happen again. It is worth it to me.


Anyway, that is getting off topic. Sorry...[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


Well, I hope that the little girl feels better, and that dad gets his ass kicked by his wife. LOL!


Crystal

[californiagirl]

Oh man.. I was talking to the dad, and he said the only reason he has her here is beause he is pissed that his wife cant take her. So he is keeping her here to prove a point to his wife (that he cant leave). Yikes. He does have lots of sick time (I handle that for the office) and the project he is on is not on a deadline.

Considering this, BOTH the parents are being idiots -- poor little girl probably wants to be home in her own bed!!!!!!!


Ridiculous!

[65roses]

I would be upset too.


Children do not belong in the workplace, period. People will whine and moan about not being able to do this, that and the other thing, but I agree with dord, if you chose to have children, you took on the responsibility that comes along with them. Emet or not emet. There are a lot of emets on this website I have read that have had to care for their children whether they felt they could or not.


I was sent home from school sick very often, and my parents were in positions that they could not always go rushing away from work (both worked in an ER as an MD and RN), but this is why you have back up for this situation. Everyone's got a neighbor, an aunt or uncle or grandparent, friend, someone from church, SOMETHING. It would have been inappropriate for them to take me to work with them, and I feel its the same for every job. People have the right to go to work and not worry about being exposed to illness by people bringing their sick children to work.


Tink- It seems like you handled it well, sorry you got the flu, but I'm glad it was the regular and not a SV for you! Take it easy.

[suze]

From the previous post:


"Everyone's got a neighbor, an aunt or uncle or grandparent, friend, someone from church, SOMETHING."


Er, I think not!There are times when I have to take my child to work because I have no-one to look after my kids. I moved away from home to go to Uni, and then moved on again to work. My closest family is 150 miles away. I have good friends but they all work with me, if I can't take the kids with me to work then I have to take time off - there is no-one. Not everyone stays in the close vicinity of their family.


I think if you can take time off when your kids are ill then you should (the guy here certainly should), but if you can't then there is sometimes no option. As Amber so rightly points out, some people risk losing their jobs on which their child's welfare depends - it's not a simple decision for some.


I'm sure if this kid had a sv then she would not have been in work - I know that with such an illness, you can't take your kids out of the house. The kid had a bad cough and cold by the sounds of things. If everyone took a day off when this happenend, the ecomony would grind to a halt.


"People have the right to go to work and not worry about being exposed to illness by people bringing their sick children to work"


Adults get sick too - most illnesses carry a risk of spread before symptoms are apparent. You can't hide from illness, you just take appropriate steps to keep yourself healthy and your hands clean, thus minimising any risk. We are not immune though.


Finally, if one of your friends asked you to look after their kid, would you do it? Even if they had a sv? I doubt it, neither would I.

[dord]

Crimson,


I am well aware that people unfortunately do have jobs and economic situations that won't allow them to take off from work - HOWEVER, that was not the case in which we were speaking of. I was posting in response to Tink's post, nothing more.She posted that the jerkadmittedhe wanted to stick it to his wife instead of thinking of his child and taking her home to care for her.I feel sorry for the little girl!I didn't respond or pass judgement on theentire human population - only the subject at hand. I am quite hurt by your post.I've had this curse of a phobia forlonger than I believe you've even been alive (32 yrs).I would NEVER hint orsuggest that an emet not have children.I've tried on many posts to encourage people with this phobia to not let it stop them from doing ANYTHING they want to do, having children included. My statement"You madethe decision to have kids nowtake care of them" was only directed to the jerk at Tink's work.He should have beenconcerned about the comfort of his little girl and took her home to take care of her if it was possible to do so.

[mjewell]

The topic of children and how one decides to take care of them is very sensitive because it is all personal. Everyone parents their children differently and feels that no one else really has any business telling them what they are doing is wrong. I could see this debate getting very heated because it is all based on our own personal opinions of how children should be raised..of course that could be debated forever!


My feeling is that if you want and plan to have children, you should be prepared, plain and simple. There are too many people that have kids that are not responsible enough to own a pet. I know this is going to get me in trouble for saying this, but I think a lot of people are felt sorry for because they can't afford their kids basic needs...granted, often times this is because of situations that are out of their control, like a natural disaster, spouse dying, leaving, etc. However, I can't say I have a lot of sympathy for people who get pregnant, accidentally or otherwise who cannot afford it or do not have the means to take care of a child. Nothing burns me more than seeing a poor, white trash adult with a gaggle of kids who through no fault of their own are dirty and wearing old dirty clothes.


Sorry to go a bit off topic, but the "some parents have no choice attitude" ticks me off. Parents DO have a choice. Don't have kids until you are prepared to take care of them. That is your choice.

[suze]

I'm suprised that you express concern that this debate is getting heated and then make sweeping generalisations that just add fuel to this already burning fire. Out of interest, mjewell, do you have kids? And by saying we should "be prepared"do you mean that women with kids shouldn't work? I am techinically a single parent, whose kids were planned, things just didn't work out. I only have two and work hard to hold down a job and raise them to be decent kids. I guess if I stayed home and sponged off the state, that would be wrong too!


Why can't we all just be a bit flexible here and accept that at times, we have to do things that don't meet everyone else's approval?

[mjewell]

I realize I contradicted myself and added fuel to the fire, oops.


But suze, no, I was not saying women with children should stay home. Becoming a single mother is one of those things I mentioned that is out of your control...if you will go back and reread my post you will see that I do have sympathy for parents in situations out of their control, and it is the people who sponge off the state are the ones who piss me off. What i meant by being prepared is having the job and the income to take care of them, which is exactly what you are doing.


No, I do not have kids, and I am proud to say that I am waiting until i have a steady enough income and home situation to do so, thank you very much. THAT was my point.

[babygap5]

Mjewell, have you ever planned something and had it go wrong? A parent can't dictate and plan, and guarantee when their child is going to get sick. Maybe the father and mother have had to deal with this poor little girl getting sick alot this year, and maybe they both just can't take it anymore. I know as a child, I had constant tonsleitis and my parents had to wait several years before I could have my tonsils taken out because they were constantly infected. I was constantly having strep throat and because of it one of my parents had to constantly leave work to bring me home sick. A few times, I had to go to work with my mom because she couldn't afford to lose a day of pay.


"some parents have no choice attitude" ticks me off. Parents DO have a choice....THIS IS THE STUPIDIST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!!!Yes of course, parentsdo have a choice,BUT,what if having that little girl stay home w/ either mom or dad would have costa day's pay that would have meant that they wouldn't be able to pay for food for a few days????????????? And you know what else, maybe that father simplyused the excuse of his wifebecause he didn't want theentire office to know that maybeheor his wife couldn't afford to leave work.


GROW UP!!!!! GROW A BRAIN!!! HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION FOR PEOPLE!!!!NO MATTER HOW MUCH PLANNING PARENTS DO, SOMETIMES, THERE ARECIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND THEIR CONTROL.

[mjewell]

Geez Louise, babygap, you have totally misread what i wrote. You need to settle down. Let me repeat one more time...I AM NOT CRITICIZING PEOPLE FOR THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF THEIR CONTROL !!!" I was talking about people who knowingly cannot afford or do not have the means to raise a child yet choose to keephavingchildren (or not preventing pregnancy)over and over and then expect sympathy from everyone else. I WASN'T EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE WHOLE STAYING HOME SICK ISSUE. I was actually referring to to dord's answer and crimgoddesses' response to it.


I am totally open to other people's point of view but I do not appreciate being chastised for my own. Edited by: mjewell

[tink]

Wow.. I am so sorry I started such a big thing here. The situation that happened to me was not at all like what seems to be posted. The guy was just keeping his kid at work to be a jerk to his wife. He told me so. He was pissed that she couldnt take her, because she had to work too. He could have easily taken the day off, we are a project based business (with no deadline right now) and he has lots of sick time coming. Knowing all that, I think it was wrong to bring his kid here and expose everyone to getting sick. Which I did. But that coulda been from other exposers though, you can never tell.

That being said, I am probably a little biased because I dont have kids. I chose not to because I know that I am really terrified of them getting sick, and I guess it really irked me that I was put in a situation that I was forced to deal with a sick kid. I realize that is totally selfish of me, and it really makes me feel like an ass to be so upset by it. I just feel helpless when put in a situation that I cannot control (when it has to do with sickness) I guess I am a big chicken.. I apologize for upsetting anyone, it wasnt my intention at all..

BTW, that guy just called in sick while I was writitng this.

--Kim