Dont know what to do

[hollyjean]

Hi everyone. Im in my first year at uni living in halls, but we have to arrange our next years accomodation this week. I got back from the christmas break on monday to find all my freinds had sorted who they were living with. Im really upset because i feel so left out. Then one of my freinds said i could look for a house with them. But the problem is its only two of my freinds, and some people i have never met bbefore and since there is six of us, we cannot get a house with an ensuite. Only the 5 bedroom and less houses have ensuites. I really dont know what to do, there is no way i could share one bathroom between 6 people! I know that its going to cause me to slip back into my eating disorder, i will be constantly scared of getting sick, and the other problem i have is i cannot use a toilet other than my own. I dont know why this is, im kinda ashamed, even though its a natrual thing, i think this links to my emet. I also have IBS and am so ashamed and feel so dirty because of it, i dont want people to know about this but they are bound to find out if im sharing a bathroom.


I have told them that i cant live with them unless its a house with ensuite, iv not told them why but they must think im a really horrible person now. I asked my boyfreind if he would live with me and he said its too soon. We have been together 4 years, am I being unreasonable to ask him to consider living with me?


I cannot move back home either because it takes too long to commute and my family are so dirty, im in a constant state of panic when i am at home. So as it stands at the moment, i have no where to live next year, i cannot afford to rent a one bed flat by myself and i have no one else to live with because they have thier accomodation all organised. The next big problem is i have to solve this problem by the end of the week otherwise there will be no houses left. The house list came out yesterday and most have been taken already. I really do not know what to do :'(

[suze]

I know this is a difficult time for you, but can't you just stay in the hall of residence? At least you'll have others around you.


With regards your boyfriend - IMO, if you're only late teens, early 20s then I guess it's a bit early, especially when you're students. It's a weird life andnot allrelationships survive this period.I'm not saying yours won't, butpeople change alot at this age, that's why I guess most of us here are no longer with the person we were with when we were that age.


Anyway, many do stay in halls throughout, why not see if this is a possibility?

[crimgoddess]

I agree with Suze- although it may seem like a good idea for you and your boyfriend to move in, there are a lot of issues that will inevitably arise, and if you are in school usually a certain amount of stress results. Dealing with that, while living with someone who you love, can be a bad situation waiting to happen. If you are living with friends or acquaintances, it's easier to lock yourself in a bedroom and ignore the world for awhile. It's not so easy when it's your boyfriend- and they don't always understand. That, and if your boyfriend is showing a bit of resistance, you dont want to push the issue. That can end up being a major point of contention later on- or he can resent it. I have seen it happen, and there is nothing worse than a break up, and then having to still live together for a certain point in time because of a lease.


Is it a possibility to live in the dorms for another year? Also, if you can't afford an apartment on your own, can you ask around to see if someone else is in the same predicament? Here, two bedroom apartments usually end up being cheaper than a one-bedroom, and sharing with just one other person isn't that bad. Check the boards on campus- I know here people put adds for shared accomodations. It may seem weird to live with someone you don't know- but I have actually met a lot of friends this way, and if you meet beforehand a few times, you can usually assess if you are able to live with this person.


*amber*

[nicki]

I would try and see if you can stay in halls all three years, I did while i was at uni. I had to write a letter of appeal to the uni explaining why i wanted to stay, but i kept my ensuite room.


I would have lived with my bf quite happily while at uni, however, the thing with being at uni is if it all goes pear shaped its terrible to get out of the contract. A friend of mine had to pay £1000 to release herself from her housing contract when things went wrong, and then had to pay rent on a new place on top of that as moving back to her parents or smething was not an option.


I hope you get something sorted, Im always on msn if u need to chat

[hollyjean]

The halls of residance here are only enough for first year and international students. I can reapply but its extremely unlikely that i will geta place again and i wouldnt find out if i have a place or not until the end of august, in which case it will be too late to get something else if i cant stay here again.


I know what you mean about my bf and i, im not asking him to rush and move in with me though, I would just like us to discuss it as an option in the future but he doesnt even want to talk about the future which hurts.


I hate the timing of this, why cant it be in a few weeks time, i have exams and course work to do, its so stressfull