I need help and don’t know what to do.

[rock]

I have a two year old son and as of now have avoided sending him to daycare for reasons independant of my problem. Lucky for me this also enables me to control my fears associated with him socializing with sick children.My wife understands my aversion and takes care of him when he is ill. I dread his eventual contact in a school or daycare setting because of my fear he will bring home bugs. I am worried that Iwill stunt his social growth because of this fear. I wish I was not afraid but don't know how to begin to seek treatment for my fears, but something has to be done before he begins pre school otherwise I will drive myself crazy.


As a side note just seeing this website makes me feel better, I never knew this problem was so prevolent.

[purpleteacher]

You and your wifeshould a list of all of the pro's and con's of sending your child to daycare. Then look at each pro and each con carefully and discuss them over with your wife. If your fear of him becoming sick is a big issue, then it might help to look at all of the positive aspects of attending daycare too - so you can see the big picture.


You can also go "daycare hunting" together and find the place where you feel most comfortable with the staff. Interview places and find out how they handle sick children and what their policies are concerning illness of their employees and children at the center. Obviously some places are better than others and it is important that you feel as though your child's social development will be matured, not hindered in a daycare environment.

[luna33]

Hi rock,


I am in the same boat. I finally started my daughter in preschool for the first time this past fall, when she was about to turn 4. All her friends started when they were 2, but I couldn't do it (not so much because of the emet but because I am a firm believer in "let them be kids as long as humanly possible"). It has been hard for me to deal with the worrying about svs, but so far I have been OK. I am afraid I've gone too far with the handwashing lectures as she's getting a little obsessive with handwashing and refuses to eat snacks at school if she can't wash first, so I'm trying to back off. I know she will get a sv at some point but school is so good for her that I don't even consider pulling her out (then again, let's see how I feel after she contracts an sv).


You are obviously a good dad who cares for his son. That's great. The only advice I have at this point is to teach him the importance of handwashing and the proper technique, tell him to stay away from sick kids until they are better, and hope for the best. That's all we can do if we don't want to raise them in caves. But he's still very young. He doesn't really *need* to go, academically, until the year before Kindergarten, if even then (depending on his personality--I knew my daughter would have to go because she is so shy, she needed to get used to being with groups before entering a 25-kid kindergarten).

[crimgoddess]

hey rock-


Check out this thread, where a very similar issue was discussed:


http://www.emetophobia.org/forum/for...sp?TID=6610&am p;KW=what+to+do


My personal thoughts are that you are just postponing the inevitable. Chances are, you will face the same fears in the near future when it comes time for school or preschool, and those fears may even intensify because there is a large time-gap in which to think about this issue.


In terms of getting help- have you made calls to local counsellors or therapists to see if you can find one that specializes in phobias? (or at least would be competent enough to treat a phobia of this nature). Getting treatment can be a huge help- and you can address what thinking errors you have in relation to vomit/vomitting, and address *why* you have this fear.


Good Luck!


*amber*

[stella9]

Sooner or later all children HAVE to go to school unless you decide to homeschool yours. If you chose to keep your child home because of your emet, you are doing a huge disservice to thim. If you elect to home school for reasons apart from your emet, then that is another thing. Eventually, your son will be exposed and I agree with amber that it is inevitable that he will be around buggies. The younger the better. Once the immune system gets up and running, the bugs will not be as prevelant. When they are in preschool, they seem to be sick more than they are well, but it is mostly with upper respiratory and other snotty type illnesses, which we all handle well. If they do v** from too much mucus, we seem to be okay with that. It is the sv that does us all in. The bottom line is we can't do a thing about it. We do the best we can. The advantage is having a partner who is sympathetic and can take over when they do get stomach sick.


Stella

[sage]

Rock,


I totally get it. I remember feeling this way, too. Now my children are grown up (ages 20-30) and I am no longer a phobic. I hope you've checked out the info at the top of the TREATMENTS thread. There's very informative stuff for you, others, how to find help, address panic, etc. Good luck!