Therapy - Frustration!

[junglemonkey]

I'm just back from a gruelling therapy session, and I'm not satisfied.


She told me today that I just have to keep going the way I'm going and they'll offer support. She said there's nothing more they can do than that. The idea of exposure or desensitisation (which I think would really benefit me) has never come up.


So far all I've done is talked about seemingly irrelevant stuff and put numbers on how anxious I feel. "Brief therapy" supposedly. I asked her where it was going, and she said that's all there is to it. Nothing more. I need to know how to make those numbers go down.


This is the NHS so I can't pick and choose who I see, when I see them and what I do. And my parents would NEVER pay for private therapy.


Can you really never overcome this?! Or is this a case of "you're a statistic in the NHS, so it doesn't actually really matter, I won't lose my job no matter what the outcome." Have any of you had experience with NHS therapists and how did it go? Or could you just explain your experience of therapy?


Thanks, Lesley xEdited by: junglemonkey

[sage]

Lesley,


My heart breaks when I read your post. Honestly...just breaks. All I can tell you is HANG IN THERE, until you can a) convince your parents that your worth private therapy or b) get old enough, and get a job, and pay for it yourself. There is ABSOLUTELY fully successful treatment for this phobia. I have gone through it myself, I have researched fully others who have been treated, and I now have 3 emetophobic clients myself. HOWEVER, the treatment (depending how severely one suffers from the phobia) can take 50, 100, up to 500 hours...months for sure, years in many cases. Little by little you get better and better. "Short treatment" is fairly useless for this disorder. BUT please do not take from that statement from your therapist that there is NO HOPE, or that there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU or that you should have done something else, and it would have worked. Unfortunately, when the state is paying, it just "isn't worth it" for governments to invest in one person tens of thousands of dollars. What I mean is, that's what they think. But if they really knew what they were doing, they'd realize that untreated phobics are susceptible to all sorts of illnesses, cancer, etc. in later years and that costs hundreds of thousands to treat. Bah! Again, sounds of a broken heart.


When I was young I went to similar useless therapies. Then I started seeking out private treatments, and due to inexperience of the therapists, or inadequacy, I had 10 of them tell me "I couldn't be cured"...that I was "non-compliant" or "resistant" to treatment. This was B.S., I found out later. But I hung in there and hung in there and didn't give up. And it paid off BIG TIME. So this is my prayer for you....


All the best!

[junglemonkey]

Thanks for replying!


I'm really, really touched by your story of how you recovered, Sage. It's most definitely been an inspiration to keep going and not give up!


My parents have private health insurance but the one thing not covered is psychiatric illness (trust me!) and they are virtually unaware of how serious this problem is - I hide it constantly. They don't believe in things like this. My illness (I also suffer badly from chronic GAD) is very hush hush within the family.


As for paying for it myself, I'm currently at University studying to be a dentist and I'm finding it exceptionally hard to cope with performing procedures in peoples mouths and having other students practise on me. The problem for me with this phobia is just that - my career is at stake (the reason I sought treatment)! I have a healthy amount stashed in the bank, I've considered every angle and, for a student, I just can't afford it. Because of my course being quite demanding, I can only work Saturdays (and I'm doing that).


I was considering perhaps getting some resources together or getting some information - they really just don't have a clue - and showing them it. Isn't it terrible apatient should have to guide the therapist LOL?I presented with this phobia and all the associated symptoms and, they said it was underlying stress levels and it's not a fear of vomit at all - BS, in my opinion. They've told me to relax regularly by say, lying down and listening to music- fine, we could all be doing with that but, will it help emet? Probably not! They're going out of their way to deny that I have this fear or avoid treating it (perhaps because of costs? I don't know) They haven't had the courtesy of telling me what's actually wrong or what's going to happen.


I need a way to make them understand, and possibly bring up the exposure idea. My therapist is lovelybut, she's a nice person and nothing more effective than that. Any advice of how to get them to work with me on this one?


Sorry this was so long lol

[sillygirl]

junglemonkey, I can relate to what you are going through. I recently got frustrated with my therapist too, and haven't seen her fora few months now. Like yours says your underlying cause is stress, mine said it was OCD. She figured if I cured the OCD, the emetophobia would go away. I think it is the other way around. My OCD is significantly improved, although I won't say cured, but my emet is still there, unaffected. I am as frustrated as you are, but luckily I have insurance to cover private therapists. I am just now starting to think about researching out a new one, hopefully one that understands the phobia a little better.


I also know what you mean about guiding the therapist. When I saw my last therapist, I brought in Sage's information and was happy to see that she at least took it seriously. I have come to realize that if I want to get over this thing, I have to be more in control of it. I know I need help from others (professionals) but I am trying to just use it to guide me in the right direction to cure myself. I just haven't had much luck with finding anyone around here that knows how to help this problem, so I am determined to do whatever I have to to get over it.


I think the biggest step is actually realizing the problem and actively looking for help, which you have done. The biggest help for me was finally admiting to my family how big of a problem it was. Although no one completley understands it, it took a huge weight off my shoulders and allowed me to concentrate on trying to get over it. Luckily, my husband is really supportive. It took a while for him to see how bad it all is, but eventually he did realize how much it affects me and now he does whatever he can to help me out. I haven't told a lot of people, but the people I can count on for help when I need it know.


Anyway, that's my experience. I hope you find something to help you soon!

[sage]

Jungle,


Go to the Treatments thread and print out the info for your parents! It's all in there - I know cuz I researched it for 2 years and wrote it. And yes, you do have to guide your therapist. Or they should just damn well be a good listener.


As far as - "it's not really fear of vomit"...that IS just B.S.!