A quite bad attack.

[violet]

Hey,So I was sitting there feeling rather n* and I look around me thinking my god this place is disgusting, and suddenly my OCD took over.


The kitchen now smells like bleech,it actually smells so bad ive had to open a window.


All because I started to feel n* I freaked out,im still sitting here looking at this keyboard thinking it could do witha clean but I did it yesterday.


I cant stop shaking im sweating and pretty much very angry at myself at the moment for letting this take over.


my hands have been washed so many times there starting to crack and bleed again,even though I was wearing gloves.


All this and I still feel n*and very very shaky.


I cant stop thinking that if I dont get this place clean im going to end up infecting myself through my own fault.


Will someone out there please talk to me calm me down or something before my blood pressure rockets through the roof..


Im so angry at myself.


V

[shereerenee]

violet...I am here to talk! I know how you are feeling. Where are you? Do you have some sanitizing wipes or something so you can clean up a little bit to make yourself a little more comfortable? Maybe once you get that controlled you can try to work on some breathing and calming yourself down a bit more... Im here...

[violet]

hey shereerenee no,ive just rubbed my hands with alot of alcohol gel at the moment and wiped over the keyboard.


I cant even type properly at the moment everythings taking 10x's longer.


My heads thudding my heart is going I cant even begin to think what the hell started this apart from feeling n*.


Thank you for coming over btw shereerenee.


I at the moment am in the living room if that is what your asking?


V

[shereerenee]

oh okay...I thought maybe you were in an unfamiliar place due to you thinking everything was gross and dirty... I am sorry I am not more knowledgeable on OCD. Is you're attack right now more due to OCD or emet? When I have a panic attack, I really just try and talk to myself and come to the realization that it is all in my head. I take a few deep breaths and put a cool wash rag on my forehead. I also take small sips of water or suck on ice cubes... Just talking to people helps too. Do you have messenger?

[violet]

This at the moment is alot more to do with emet as my ocd starts when I think things are dirty and im going to get ill from it so this comes and goes but haven't been this bad in a long while.


Im trying to drink some water at the moment.


Yes I am on messenger,MSN & Yahoo.

[shereerenee]

if you want to chat...I have messenger... [email protected]