My son’s terrible phobia

[kweezy]

My son is 12, for the last 2 years his fear of seeing v* in reality or on tv has becomeprogressively worse, if some one coughs or sneezes, he sees the potential for v*, and runs in panic from the room. I have no idea how to deal with this situation. He has never been around anyone v*ing on any kind of regular basis, he has never been abused,he is a kind and gentle child andhe can cope with being sick himself, but his fear is becoming more and more prohibitive to his social and family life. I am desperately trying to find some kind of solution to his problem. This is the first time I have used a chat room, as I have always considered them the realm of paedophiles and freaks, so if anyone has any kind of constructive information or links, i would be eternally grateful. I read Sage's fascinating piece, but I am hoping to get on top of this sooner, rather than later. Thanks..

[liriodendron]

Time is going to be the healer for your son. And it will take time.

It's really not that "terrible" of a phobia. It's just something else to deal with.

Try to get your son involved with some activities or something to get excited about and it should get his mind of it.



And please make your text larger in subsequent posts if possible.

[kweezy]

Thanks for font advice, my son is 12 and a mad keen football player,(soccer for those of you in the US),but while he blanks out his problem when he is involved in any activity, as soon as he switches to regular mode, he is back to his normal edgy self in an instant. Do you know of any helpful links ?

[liriodendron]

You need to keep him active. Constantly doing *SOMEthing*. Maybe buy
him a video game console and pay him (or not) to do chores. A regular
eating and sleeping schedule will pay dividends. The object is to take
his mind off it so long that he forgets about it.

[happyteacher]

I am very much like your son. While I'm not okay with vomiting myself, my real problems lie in worrying about seeing others.


Time is definitely the killer. Get him professional help NOW! I only wish I could have begun the road to recovery at 12. I now have 26 years of avoidance to unravel.


I have missed out on so much on my life because of this. Don't let him suffer like I have.

[x hannah x]

I agree with whats been said, keep him busy when you can and see if you can get him some help. Maybe your gp could refer him to someone? And I really think you should try to explain a bit about this phobia and what its called, maybe show him this site because I remeber having this phobia at 12, I'm 15 now, and I would have killed to know I wan't alone in it.


P.S Don't worry some of us are a bit freaky but we're not dangerous [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[kweezy]

Thanks for that, what have you done to get over this? It is obviously still a problem for you, I have seen heaps of advice for emetophobes, but it seems to be more the fear of being sick oneself rather than the fear of others V*ing, Is he an emetophobe? some sites suggest that he is not because he doesn't fear throwing up himself. Is there a condition more specific to him? It is becoming progressively worse, and he is imposing some kind of invisible set of rules on himself. The movies in the school holidays are a no no, unless I go and watch it first to vet it. I'm not that rich!!

[kweezy]

Thanks Hannah, I hope things are getting easier for you, I didn't know this condition officially existed until I googled it a couple of hours ago. What has helped you? Face it head on, or are there more subtle methodsso as not to scare him with medical terms. He is a busy lad with his football etc, he has PS and Xbox, but he tends to hide behind them.

[pretty polly]

kweezy, have you read any of the treatments threads on this site?
There are many different ways to treat emetophobia. (and yes, the
majority of us emetophobes fear both ourselves and seeing others
vomit) but there are treatments for people who just fear seeing it.
There is exposure therapy, which may or may not, be helpful to your
son. It sort of slowly gets the patient to view images, but at their own
pace. I, for one, could not do this but there are some that have.
There is a very good piece written by Sage, who has been cured of
this awful phobia, and gives you good advice on who to go to and
how to go about it. Its definitely worth you having a look.
Are you absolutely sure your son does not fear himself vomitting?
Because often the two come hand in hand? Or it can start as being
afraid of one thing, and then developing into something more if left
untreated???Good luck, hope you sort something out!
We are all here for you and your son...

[kweezy]

Thanks PP, You may be right about the fear of himself, but when he genuinely does feel sick, and does throw,(which is once in the last 2 years)he doesn't appear to to show any more panic than any other sick child would. I did read Sages piece, but it seems it has taken her a lifetime, which while a happy ending, I'm hoping it won't take that long. Sadly I fear Sam's condition may be a symptom of something deeper, but if I can control this thing I may be in a position to deal with anything that crops up subsequently. I really value your and everyones support..

[sienna]

Kweezy, I don't know if it's something deeper - both my sister and father
have phobias, although not of v*ing. So I'm inclined to think there could be
a biological element. But I would definitely look into getting him some
counseling to avoid some unhealthy mental patterns he's going to develop.

As I understand it, this phobia can be about oneself getting sick or about
seeing other people get sick.

[kweezy]

Sienna,


Emetophobia seems to be a multi faceteted phobia with multiple permutations, as indeed all phobias are.


The human condition being what it is, allows us for better or worse our own little quirks and idiosyncracies, ultimately a cause for celebration.


Time to get my head out of the sand and get the best help for my boy I can!!

[x hannah x]

Kweezy, I'm pretty much the same as your son, I don't like throwing up myself but I won't go to extreme lengths to prevent it, however when it comes to other peopleI really freak out. I've tried talking to a therapist but what she did with me was something I think you could help your son with - One thing that really scares me, and apparently your son, is v* scenes on television so maybe the two of you could sit down and watch a film together that you know has v* in it, a very mild scene to start off with and the build up. But make sure he knows it's going to happen otherwise he won't trust you. I also tried hypnotherapy but I didn;t find that helped me personally. At the moment I'm just tackling it head on, going into dangerous situations and seeing if I can handle it. A good place to find out whether or not a film has a v* scene in it is screenit.com if you go to blood and gore it tells you if there are any scenes,A good scene to start your son off with might be Harry Potter 2 where Ron burps up some slugs.

[beadgirl]

Kweezy, I personally do not think that keeping him busy is the solution. It might be part of the solution, but it most certainly is not gonna be the only thing you want to try. When it's in your head IT"S ALWAYS THERE. It invades your thoughts even though you're not even trying to think about it. And what are you gonna do when the little guy has to go to bed, you can't keep him busy there! I know a lot of my phobia comes out when its dark, quiet and I am all alone! I absolutely agree with xhannahx- Talk to your little man about this phobia so he knows that there are others out there like him. That should be your first step. Good luck dealing with this, we all know it's tough. Welcome to the boards and invite your son to join us too!

[japa]

I woulddo the exposure therapy (there is a link in the treatments section) with your son, while sitting by his side. And I would send him to a cognitive-behavioral therapist a couple of times per week. Eradicate the phobia now while he is young. Sage took a long time to heal because she was pioneering the treatments. It won't take that long for your son, especially if you get it now while he's young before the phobia has had time to become a fixture in his life.

[e-lizabeth]

Get your son to a therapist as quickly as possible...try to find someone who specializes in anxiety or phobias. You are a wonderful mother who seems quite knowledgeable. I am 40 and have lived with this on and off, and also with generalized anxiety, and I live a mostly very happy and productive life thanks to appropriate therapy. Now I think my 6 year-old daughter is starting to show signs, and I will get her into therapy as soon as it seems necessary. I wish you and your son luck.

[zanana]

You are a wonderful mother


A wonderful mother called ben

[kweezy]

I was a father last time I checked.

[redapple]

lol



you'll have to forgive e-lizabeth, the vast majority of members of this site are women. glad to have you!



as far as a helpful link...you've already found it. i recommend
printing the info from the treatments thread and taking it with you on
a search for a therapist your son trusts and feels comfortable with. this is the first and most important step</span>,
and it's very lucky for him that you found this site while he is still
young. he can learn to control his panic, and you can also learn how to
deal with it. that's important too, because i know that for a lot
of us our families have had damaging reactions to our fears (even if they weren't intending to</span>). feel free to pm me if you have any questions.