Wonder about someone "knowing" you here?

[peachykeen]

Does anyone ever worry about having your phobia discovered by
someone on here that might know you? I'm a member of another
message board, and after I'd been posting for over a year I found out
that there were people lurking on there that knew me IRL. That's part
of why I'm very non-descript about anything personal - I don't say the
sex of my kids or their names, or anything like that, because I don't
want to be recognized. Also, I'm married to a "celebrity", a local
celebrity in the city we live in, and I would hate for someone to have
dirt on him - his "crazy" wife and her phobias, etc. Does anyone else
ever think about things like this, or am I alone in this?

[chicajojobe]

Well I've been a member of a lot of different message boards online and
I've never been "recognized", so I don't really worry about it no. I
mean after all I don't use my real name so who would know? Even if they were
able to guess from things I said they wouldn't have any proof.



Besides I wouldn't worry about it being bad publicity for your husband.
Who would be here unless they had the same phobia? After all, most
people who are non-phobic and a lot of emets even don't know this
phobia even exists.



As for someone just stumbling across the site it would be very unlikely
that they would find it by accident, and happen to read a post that was
by you, AND it would contain enough information for them to guess who
you are.


Edited by: chicajojobe

[liriodendron]

First of all, this isn't a crazy phobia so please get it out of your
head that this is something to be ashamed of. It's like I've been
saying, if more people got these horrible illnesses, more people would
be frightened of it too. Personally I don't like to publicize it
because it's a weakness of mine.... But I don't think I'm crazy. 'Nuff
said.



As for Internet security, yes I am cautious about this and I use
different screen names for all of the forums I use and different email
addresses too. The reason is because someone can google the screen name
or email addy and find you that way.

I've started to just stick with the genus of various trees that I like. Good luck googling me! That way I never run out.



I also don't disclose any personally identifyable information on
purpose unless I think I have a chance at scoring.......... scoring
some local friends that is.

[crimgoddess]

Hmmm....personally, I'm not sure this phobia is to be so ashamed of that I would be concerned about someone I know casually finding out.


Everyone has a phobia of some sort- this one isn't any different. It's not like we're talking about cheating on our significant others here, or doing something illegal- we're just talking about our phobia- which is pretty common if you look at the statistics.


So....if someone said that they saw my pic on here (I'm not shy) and asked about it- I would just be frank. I'm personally just waiting for the day that one of the kids in my TA classes finds me on here and starts talking about her "crazy TA"- haha.


*amber*

[chicajojobe]

Eh...I agree that keeping this phobia a deep dark secret isn't a good
attitude. I used to do that and it made things harder, but I think I
understand where you're coming from.



From what you said about your husband I assumed that by celebrity you
meant he was some sort of public figure right? Well if in 2000 they
could make the public believe that John McCain was insane from being a
POW 30 years ago, then they certainly could use your phobia against you
guys.



Don't worry though. You're doing a good job protecting your privacy by
using aliases and avoiding specifics about where you live, so I'm sure
you'll be fine. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Edited by: chicajojobe

[liriodendron]

Oh, and I also click over to a news site before going to other forums
or websites. Those nasty little referrers can paint quite a
picture from what I hear.

[samara's on tv]

I'm not worried about someone discovering that I'm on this site. Besides just about EVERYONE I know, knows about my phobia and I'm not ashamed of it. I tell people about my phobia A LOT...it usually clears up some of the odd behavior they see that I have. I was talking to a teacher that runs my computer classes and I told him about my Emet and he said, "I think my daughter had that when she was younger, she used to be afraid of vomiting in school." So you never really know how people are going to react.


~Monica

[japa]

I can understand since your husband is a local celebrity that you might have misgivings about public postings and being found out.


But that aside, there is no sense in feeling embarrassed or ashamed of this phobia or about anything about ourselves. Anyone who would think less of you for having this phobia is not worth talking to anyway.


There is nothing shameful about this as far as I am concerned.

[tayda]

Yeah I've thought that before... but I'm just like "whatever". Most poeple who I care about know about this...


*** as for accidentally finding this site... that happened to me, when I googled anxiety**

[65roses]

I worry a little. I am on the waiting list for a transplant, and I'm worried if the team found out I had this phobia, that I would not be accepted to have the surgery.

[japa]

Now that is a compelling concern. I can see why that might give you pause.

I worry a little. I am on the waiting list for a transplant, and I'm worried if the team found out I had this phobia, that I would not be accepted to have the surgery.

[spilled_milk]

I'm not that worried, probably because most of my friends know, and if someone who wasn't my friend found out, i dont really think that they would care. This is just because i'm fine with people knowing about my phobia...i feel it actually helps me because then if I panic at school i have a huge support group. The only thing i'm worried about is some crazy person finding me, which is why i only give my first name.


<3 Anya--

[Babydoll]

It doesnt bother me at all. I am very open about my phobia. I feel like its a part of me, and well, if someone critizes me for having an anxiety disorder, well, they are the person with issues, not me.

[peachykeen]

When I said "crazy" in my first post, I put it in quotes as a sort of
sarcasm. I'm not really worried about someone finding out that I have
this phobia, but like some of the pp's said, the media can be cruel, and
the negative spin they would put on it with regards to my hubby is
something I'd be embarassed about - not the phobia itself. 65roses has
a much more valid reason than I do though - I'd be worried if I were in
your shoes too!

[pretty polly]

I have the same misgivings about discovery as you, peachykeen.
I have always portrayed the image of a sensible, together, strong
individual - and feel that if anyone close to me were to discover my
"mental illness", then I will never be perceived that way again.
I only revealed it to my husband last month, and we have been
together 15 years (see how well I hid it!!) and he had absolutely no
clue that anything was the matter. I kept all my emotions inside -
even when confronted with a v* situation - I never had anxiety
attacks (in public) and so somehow managed to build a strong cover
for what I was really suffering.
Being a mother and wife of a high-flying businessman, involves being
strong mentally and physically. Which I obviously am not. But I don't
want anyone else knowing that!!!!
You see, this is why I have serious concerns about seeking
professional help - I know I will then have a mental health record.
Which could in some way, affect me in later life??? Perhaps not
necessarily so, but that is what worries me!

[japa]

Polly, I sort of talked about this in another thread. I really don't think that you need to worry about having a mental health record and that it will affect you in later life. First of all, I am not sure what you mean by affecting you. Could you say more about what you are picturing here?


Health records are confidential in the U.S. Aren't they in the U.K.? I have been in therapy for several years, and I have been to see more than one psychiatrist. This has had no effect on any other area of my life. No one is looking at my mental health records.


I am in a Ph.d. program, and I am going to be interviewing for full time professor positions within two years or so. No one is going to ask for my mental health records. If they did, it would be against the law. But it doesn't matter because it is not going to happen.


I am not saying, "go get mental health treatment," but I just want to dispel this idea for you that it is going to have adverse effects. Seeking treatment is your own business, and it does not affect anything in later life except for making you a more functional human being (if it's a competent professional you're working with).

You see, this is why I have serious concerns about seeking
professional help - I know I will then have a mental health record.
Which could in some way, affect me in later life??? Perhaps not
necessarily so, but that is what worries me!

[aguerra29]

I dpn't care if anyone finds out that I am on this site. Its' not like I am commiting a crime or trying to hurt people. I do not have any expectation of privacy on the internet. I don't know what you mean by a local celebrity - if it is a newscaster, well ,then you should use that "celebrity" to gain awareness to the problem. We had a local celebrity's daughter come out on the news to talk about her OCD. THere needs to be more awareness about phobias. It doesn't make you crazy and how on earth could someone spin that you are afraid of throwing up if you came out with it first. I mean freakin Denise Richards is an emet. You don't ever see that in the tabloids and she even talked about it on Jay Leno. If you husband is a politician - so what. John McCain's wife was addicted to pills and he still gets voted into office. And that's republican. mind you. It's not a bad thing that we are here. There are women and men of all ages on this site that help each other. How can that be bad? Now, if you are trying to "hide" from someone,(abusive husband, stalker, etc.) then I wouldn't be on the internet - period.

That's my two cents. Take it for what it's worth.

[sheri-baby]

[img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

[liriodendron]

If you google my name and work phone number you will find out quite a
bit about me. That's how I got the idea to eliminate that in the future
whether it's necessary or not. I'm not overly paranoid even though it
sounds like it.



But am I the only one who's the slightest bit concerned that someone
who may have a grudge might know my weak spot and use it against me? If
only we could fight wars by throwing up on the enemy, we'd never need
guns. I think you all know where I'm going with this.

[pretty polly]

Japa

I know this is going to sound really pathetic, but I have always
feared that if anything were to go wrong in later life, that mental
health could be considered a factor with regards to parental rights.
Don't get me wrong, this is absolutely not an issue currently, but
(whether its my phobia talking) I just wonder if I went down the
"mental help" path, that somehow it could come back to haunt me in
a negative way.

Sad I know!!

[tayda]

Polly


Honestly, stuff like this could be used against you if you DON'T seek help, and someone knows about it. 1 out of 3 people in the US experiences depression... (don't ask for stats I don't have them, but got it on a print out about a year or so ago). Anxiety disorders are EXTREMELY common, and people w/ anxiety still keep their children.


AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T A DANGER TO YOURSELF, FAMILY, OR OTHERS... nothing will be held against you


It is perfectly safe for you to go seek help... and beneficial too.

[japa]

I completely agree with tayda.


Custody battles for kids can get really down and dirty, so I can understand that you might feel afraid. (I'm assuming that you were talking about some kind of possibly nasty divorce situation).


If a lawyer were to argue that you have an anxiety disorder and therefore shouldn't have custody of your kids, the counterargument that would be much more persuasive would be that you have sought treatment, and it is therefore no longer an issue.


My best friend works for Child Protective Services, and it takes an awful lot to have people's children taken away. When the parents are drug addicts and the kids are taken away, the prerequisite to getting them back is that the parents enter into drug treatment. So the treatment would be viewed as a good thing.