Am I the only one here...

[pianolover]

...who is saving sex for marriagefor any reason? (Somehow there's been a lot of sex discussion lately!) For me it's because I'm Christian, and I feel like in this issue I am in the vast, vast minority! Just wondering about everyone else on here

[liriodendron]

I made an inappropriate comment and I'm deleting it so I don't get in trouble. [img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img]


Edited by: liriodendron

[babygap5]

More power to you for sticking to your beliefs. It's a rare quality these days.

[pianolover]

Liriodendron, you just made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

[liriodendron]

Whoopsie.

Well you know it's very strong of you to do that. There is a lot of
temptation out there. Especially here in North America. Can't even turn
on broadcast television without seeing something sexual. It seems like
at my age, in my area, everyone's settled down already so not a lot of
singles wanting to get it on. Growing old is just so swell.

[meercat]

Well actually in a WAY, i am doing the same thing as you are. I made many mistakes in my life as a Christian, and having sex before marriage is one of them!! Last Easter i converted to Catholicism. I was becoming so strong in my faith 3-4 years prior to that, and so i decided to ask forgiveness for my sexual behavior up to that point. When i became Catholic last year i even added that to my first confession. So it's been about 4 years since i had sex and it ain't gonna happen again until i'm married!!

I think what you're doing is a blessing and it's to be commended!!! I tip my hat to you!

God bless you :-)

Paula

[hippychick]

Well since I *can't* get married due to being gay I'd be a fool to wait Actually I think gay unions will be legal in the UK next week or so, but lets not open up a debate on that hehe. I think more power to ya for waiting, I really respect that a lot and wish you luck with it.

[crimgoddess]

Hey there-


Was raised Catholic (complete with a uniform school that was previously run by priests), but decided fairly early on that organized religion wasn't for me.


Piano and Meer- congrats on sticking to your principles. Although it's not the direction I would go- can't fault you for sticking to what you believe in!


Personally, there are two reasons why sex before marriage is essential for me:


1) The first time isn't all that great! (seems to be the concensus from my friends) After realizing this back in tha day (lol- I remember thinking- this is IT?) I was glad that I didn't wait. I want good sex on my wedding night dag-nammit!


2) If I am committing to spend the rest of my sexual life with someone, I would want to know if he was any good- or at least we were compatible. There were people that I was dating, and thought that there might have been the possibility for more.....until the sex was bad.


I don't know- maybe because I am a very sexual person, I place a lot of importance on sex- good sex- within a relationship in order to guage how I may do with this person long term.


So piano and meer- may you have very good sex for the rest of your lives after you walk down the aisle! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


*amber*

[crimgoddess]

hippy-


Come to Canada for a visit! At the moment gay marriage is legal (THANK YOU liberal government- at least ya did something right!), but it may not be for much longer if the conservatives come into power.


Was actually present on parliament hill soon after it became legal to watch a couple that has been together for a decade get married. Now THAT's a statement!


*amber*

[pretty polly]

Liriodendron - I am dying to know what that inappropriate comment
was!!
I think I misunderstood the question. Pianolover, do you mean you
are having sex before marriage, or you are having sex in return for
marriage???? No, it can't be the latter...
Sorry, I am a bit slow on the uptake. I'll catch up one day!

[meercat]

I've had more than my share of good sex in my life (i'm 38 not 18), but yes my faith in Christ is what's changing my life and the decisions i'm now making. So i could care LESS about whether i ever have sex..let alone GOOD sex again. My faith is what's most important to me now...not material or sexual feelings. :-) Been there, done that, not what life is about for me anymore. I'm a much happier and peaceful person now, so i'd never go back to the lifestyle i was once in.

If it's working for the rest of you...cool, i'm only telling the story of MOI hehe!

High Fives Pianolover!

[chicajojobe]

Pianolover, if saving sex for marriage is what you want then I think
that's great and I commend you for knowing what you'll be happy with.



I've never been in a relationship that was serious enough to take to
that level, but I'm not particularly attached to the idea of waiting
until marrriage. If my life turns out that way for some reason I don't
suppose it would be a problem, but it isn't a must.

For me abstinence is more about safety then it is morality. Being that
I'm not religous, I don't think any type of sex is immoral unless it
involves a nonconsentual partner. Rape is certainly wrong. I am
definetly for monogamy, and not just because it's safer. I know that's
what I want out of a relationship.



I respect you for being sure of your beliefs, but I have to confess,
since I'm not resolutly determined to wait until marriage, I felt a
little judged by what you said. If I'm mistaken and you didn't mean to
judge at all then nevermind, but that's just how it seemed.





There have been some treads about sex recently, but I didn't think
there was excessive sex talk. I don't know....maybe it's just a
coincidence that they were all posted around the same time so it seemed
like a lot. [img]smileys/smilies_27.gif[/img]






Edited by: chicajojobe

[mjewell]

What i admire most about waiting is your strength and willpower!! I am very very weak when it comes to willpower. I made a vow to myself to wait until i was 16!! That just goes to show you how weak I am, LOL. But, then again for me I think sex was more important because I always had steady boyfriends throughout high school and college. My friends that were casual daters didn't have sex until much much later, but when you are in a serious relationship it seems more inevitable.


I don't regret having sex before marriage. I did have a few encounters that I am not particularly proud of, but I don't look at them as regrets, more like learning experiences. With every relationship i learned a little more about who I am and what I want out of relationships. I am also glad I got to "experience" some other people before committing to one person for the rest of my life. Sounds kinda slutty doesn't it?


[img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[meercat]

Nahhh that doesn't sound slutty :-)

I thought that way at one time, before i (i don't care for the terms "religious" or "spiritual") grew in my faith.

[samara's on tv]

I've never had sex with a guy so I can't say that I'm waiting for marriage, I'm a lesbian so I probably won't ever get MARRIED married, just have a ceremony for partnership or something. But I think that waiting for marriage is a great thing. I personally would just go on if I really LOVED the guy or not. Although I'm a lesbian I do want to have sex with a guy just to see what it's like. I don't think I'll like it very much but I'm the type of person that has to try everything.


~Monica

[shiva]

Monica,


I have a lesbian friend who had sex with a guy a year ago. She "didn't like it" so I am confused why she told me today that she is doing it again with him in 3 weeks! LOL! Just thought that was kinda a humorous story to share.

[bexcelica]

well i just want to let youknow, i didnt wait until marriage, but i waited until i was with the man i am going to marry. my boyfreind now is my first and will be my last i know it. so more power to you, i know its hard!

[hippychick]

I could never bring myself to have sex with a guy lol not even close! I waited til I met the right girl when I was 20 though, I have to really trust a person before sex.

[pianolover]

Hi all. Thanks for the responses! In response to chicajojobe, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was judging, because that was not my intent! I was reallyjust looking to see if I had any supporters here, because in this day and age, it's really easy to find support if you are of the "I love this person so I'm going to have sex with them now" mindset, and really difficult to find support if you are of the "I love this person and God, so I'm going to wait until we're married" mindset. People tend to look at me like I'm weird or excessive or repressing myself or something, none of which I believe, lol! Anyway chica, I think you're right, there were just a lot of sex-related threads at the same time or something!!


And just to clear it up, this isn't what I "want" to do, right off the top of my head! It's what I think is right. Ithink there's definitely a big differencewith me in most things!! [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]

[chicajojobe]

Okay then, I apologize and withdraw my objection.



And I wasn't using the word "want" with a connotation of whimsy or
frivolity. I meant it more in a sense of deciding, for example, that
you want to join the military. "Want" as in something that you want out
of life.....something that you believe is right for you. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]



I also want say that I'm sorry you don't know people who support you
for waiting until marriage. I know a lot of people who would support
and respect a decision like that, so they're out there. Maybe in the
future you'll meet some friends who will support you.[img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]


Edited by: chicajojobe

[stephiewephie05]

i'm definately saving myself for marriage. it's not all cuz of being a christian it's cuz i've seen alot of people get pregnant@ young ages & i don't want to get pregnant or get an std.

[crystalmom]

I have to say Kudos to you for waiting. I, did not. As a matter of fact I lost my virginity at 16 just b/c all my friends bugged me about being a virgin. That "first time" really was not that wonderful.


I don't want to sound like a slut, either, but I have had my share. [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img] I have to say that the man I actually married...we had a horrible sex life, which was part of our problem, he wanted it, I didn't. I thought it was me and that I would always get "bored" after those first few romantic, erotic times, but the b/f I have now we do have a good sex life. I actually want it more than he does! [img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]


I admire you for waiting. It takes a strong person to know what is right for them!


Crystal

[beadgirl]

Good for you for waiting... I wish I did. Although I do plan to tell whomever I marry that "NO SEX FOR @ WEEKS berfore the wedding" so that the Want is there, ya know? Just don't do it and as for everyone that says the first time is not that great: you're absoloutely right, however, we were all young and of course it sucked. Pianolover, I know this is gonna but you need to find another virgin to marry. Any of my friends that saved themselves ended up marrying other virgins abd they have perfect marriages. If you don't know what else is out there, then how can you have a basis to say that "it wasn't that great"...You have nothing to compare it to! And IN MY OPINION (only my opinion guys, so don't get all testy when I say this) If you really and truely love that man thensex is not gonna matter. It will always be GOOD! Save it girl! The V club is very exclusive (V as in virginity,not the other v)

[meercat]

I agree with beadgirl! If you TRULY love someone...sex is absolutely beautiful no matter what!! Plus hey, when you both love eachother with that intense intimacy and trust, you can help eachother out and not be afraid or ashamed to explore eachother and tell eachother what feels good and how to do things (Not TO eachother) but FOR eachother, because you love them that much!

Pianolover, i feel you will find many ppl (even those who have already had sex before marriage) who would support you all the way!! I also have to say that i agree with you and admire what you said...when you said it's not necessarily what YOU want...but it's what you feel is RIGHT, because of your love for God <~~I was paraphrasing there, cuz couldn't remember your exact words..but i think that's what you meant hehe!

[hollyjean]

i am not a virgin, i lost it to my bf a few years ago and we are still together. Before that i had promised myself that i would wait until marriage, but i fell totally in love with my guy and i knew it was right. I have only been with my bf and intend it to stay that way, i know hes the one so there wasnt as much reason to wait. I think its ok to have sex before marriage if you are in a very commited relationship, i dont think so much of people that sleep around loads. I dont mean that to offend anyone, im just saying this from people i know. For example there is a girl in my flat at uni that is having unprotected sex (very loudly!) with at least 6 different guys at once, one of which is another flat mate that is totally inlove with her but she doesnt feel the same way about him, shes just using him, she has no morals at all. I think that is wrong because shes just going to spread disease and end up pregnant and not know who the father is!