Obsessed

[mommyof3]

I am to the point right now thatI just want my kids to get the dreaded sv* and get it over with. Every year at least two of them get it and sometimes my hubby and me, and then it seems like that's it. I am obsessed with worrying about whether they will get it and Christmas will be ruined (happened three years ago--my then 1-yr old caught it for Christmas and then everyone except my daughter caught it the day we had rescheduled my family's Christmas party).


Also, my husband and I are going away for four nights to the Bahamas in January--the first time we have gone on vacation without the kids. They are staying with my il's who I know will take fabulous care of them--I'm not worried about that part of it at all. I am just worried that 1) the kids will get the sv* while I'm gone and I won't be there for them 2) that Ior hubby will get it while we are in the Bahamas and our trip will be ruined or WORSTOF ALL 3) that I will feel s* on the airplane and be trapped.


I HATE THIS!!!! Why can't I just be excited about Christmas and enjoy my kids? They won't be little forever and I am missing it! Why can't I just be excited about this wonderful vacationI am taking?????????? I'm so consumed by worry I'm not getting anything done for the holidays (baking, wrapping presents--all the stuff I LIKE to do) because I feel like I am on "alert." This Friday my son is having a couple of friends here for a sleepover and I know I won't sleep all night worried that one of them will wake up and v*.


What do you guys do to get rid of these thoughts???? I know I should probably start therapy for this, get drugs, something, but right now it's just not possible (no insurance, no time now for anything to work before the trip anyway).


Thanks forreading if you got throughit.

[tayda]

Well, I have to say that therapy and medication are DEFINITELY helpful.. but they arne't a cure all. I understand about the insurance thing. I was there for a period of time.. and one of my friends who had depression and an anxiety disorder doesn't have it either. The good news is that you can usually find a free health clinic (though not always the best, they are better than nothing).. and certain prescription plans that minimize your medication costs.


I know none of that will help you now, but maybe in the future. Like when you get back from your trip.


I have to say that the things that you worry about are the same things that I do. I HATE flying.. and would be so scared of having a panic attack. DF is trying to get anthony and I to fly down to florida in a few weeks to go visit his parents.. and I'm really not feeling it.


For the plane ride.. I could mayube reccomend not sleeping the night before... that way you can just sleep on the plane ride.


Ands I understand that you don't want to NOT be there incase your kids get s*.. but your IL's took care of your hubby when he was a boy, and they'll be fabulous w/ your children as well... no need to worry... and you're only a call away I'm sure.


Call them each night... and let them know how many days until you will be back home.


GL.. (somehow sumbimtted w/o clicking submit...)


anyways.. gl and have fun.. at least try.. it will be a nice get away.Edited by: tayda

[crimgoddess]

HI Paula-


First of all- congrats on being able to have a get away for just you and your husband! Although I know that a plane ride can be stressful- why not pack a little emergency bundle just in case you and your husband feel ill? I know that whenever I fly, I always have a snack (some crackers and licorice), ginger ale or water, hand sanitizer, ginger mints (or pills if you are so inclined), gum, some extra tissues and Gravol (I get severely motionsick, and I find that if I take it a half hour before departure it seriously cuts down on symptoms). Also headphones and a book are good to keep your mind off everything. (I'm flying to Tasmania in Feb- the LONGEST FLIGHT EVER, lol, and am nervous myself).


Also...there is no guarantee that your kids will get sick. Although it has happened around this time in the past, there is no guarantee that this year the same will occur. That, and if your kids get it, you have noted that it doesn't always mean you and your husband will catch it as well. IF your kids get sick in the four days that you are away, they will probably be sad that they don't have mom to take care of them- but your In-laws will be a good substitute. When I was sick I always went to my grandmother's (because my parents worked- and I had a little brother who was ill a lot and we didn't want him to catch it)- and LOVED it. Grandparents have a tendency to spoil their grandkids in general- when they are sick, they do the same but to a greater extent.


I know it must be difficult to be in your position- but all I can say is try to stay positive and keep busy enough to not let your mind wander to all the possible stomach virus scenarios (easier said then done). I don't know what it's like to be without insurance (I'm Canadian)- but are there any sort of free counselling services available, and is it cheaper to see a counsellor or a psychologist as opposed to a psychiatrist? I find that many psychiatrists are quick to dispense drugs without exhausting other options- perhaps in the future if you either get insurance, or have more money to spend you may want to try this option? Also, do you have a close friend/family member who you are able to talk about this with? If therapy isn't an option, maybe talking this over with someone you trust would be helpful in appeasing some of your fears (I know sometimes it helps just to be able to get stuff off your chest).


GOOD LUCK on everything- and I hope you have a fabulous time in the Bahamas!!


PS- your kids in the picture- is it my imagination, or do two of them seem to be wearing harry potter cloaks? If so, both you and your kids ROCK. (lol- not that your normally 'not' rock- I just love Harry Potter)


*amber*

[mommyof3]

Thank you, both of you. I know my mil will take great care of the kids if they are sick, but she is such a hypochondriac herself, she will probably "come down" with it, too, and make me feel guilty for months LOL.


That was a great suggestion about the "emergency" kit for the plane. Maybe I will take a little dramamine even just to get myself to sleep a little on the plane. I used to fly all the time, but haven't flown in quite some time, so I'm nervous because of that I guess.


Can you believe my husband is a therapist? It's hard to explain; he's a great therapist, but I don't thinkhe really understands how this affects me. I really try to hide it from everyone. It's embarrassing, sometimes, as you guys know. He could get me some Xanax, but I just hate how I feel on medication. It's that whole control thing that we emets have, kwim?


Yes, that's my oldest dressed as Harry (got his cloak straight from the UK on eBay lol), my daughter as Hermione, and my youngest as Dobby. That was just before the book party back in July.


Thanks again!

[gubba]

I know how the worry is. You were so great when my son had the SV thing in November and I needed everyones support since my husband had it too. I cannot thank you enough for that and I wish I could help you. I know how it feels to think that we are missing this great part of our kids lives by worry over this and i do it too. Now i have the worry since my son has a bad cough and he usually V*'s from that, but so far, no V*. He had a hig fever for a day or so and still no V*. I keep waiting and getting worried that it will turn into something worse, so I am right there with you on worry. I wish we could all get a written guarantee that there would be no V* for the next 25 years. LOL!!!


Your trip sounds incredible and i am so jealous of you guys, but i would be a basket case over the trip too. try, and i say try since i know it is not easy, to get excited about Christmas and your trip.

[mommyof3]

Thanks! I'm sorry I haven't been around. I think I'm around here more when I'm doing really well and feel like I can help other people, or when I'm doing badly (like now) when I really need help. I have been sort of teetering on the edge the last month or so, and now I'm just at my wit's end again.


I don't know if you read a post a few days ago in response to the soldier serving overseas, but my husband has his own issues, too, and mine just seem so silly in comparison, I feel guilty opening up to people about my problem. That's why it's so good to have this place to go to! Honestly, from an outsider's perspective, on the surface, this seems like such an easy thing to just "get over"--but it isn't and nobody really understands except others who are in the same boat.


It's weird this winter, though. I'm not doing my normal bizarre eating (no spicy foods, severely limiting quantities, etc.), I'm just more depressed over the thought of never getting over this--of it controlling my life. And how ironic is that for a control-freak??? Like last night. My kids were in a program at church and all I could think about was how they looked--if they looked like they were feeling ill, etc. Or freaking out about how they just ran down to the fellowship halland grabbed a cookie without washing their hands. I should have been ENJOYING the evening. And SO much energy put into checking myself--making sure others didn't notice how freaked I was getting. I was exhausted by the time I got home!

[gubba]

I do the same way. My sister-in-law was in town over the weekend and she is a nurse. I did not want her to think that I was a nut job, so I did not wash my sons hands as much as usual and he has a bad cough that he has had since last week.I guess I figured that was his sickness of the month and gave up. I do keep checking to see if he has fever when no one was looking and I do always look to see if he looks sick. I never let him know that I am this freaked out and although he is a smart little guy, I try so hard to keep my fear as mine and all of ya'lls, so that he will never know. I hope he does not turn into an EMET...can you imagine anything worse than one of our precious kids suffering this way??? I would hate that more than me having it.

[angel13]

Paula,


I gotta say...The Bahamas?! Wow, you're lucky! You're living most people's dream right now, planning a getaway to paradise. The best advice I can give is to not worry about things that haven't happened. If I lived my life by that, I don't think I'd be an emet! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Some meds would be a great idea for the flight, if you're nervous about it - get some that cause drowsiness, then you'll be out like a light for most of it! You may miss some scenery out of the window, but it'll calm your nerves at least! Apart from that, you should try to focus on the positives about this trip - you and your hubby can have some qualityrelaxation time.Maybe it would be best to plan things to do on your holiday? If you keep your mind on something, hopefully you won't have as much time to worry. Work out some things to do on each of the days you're there - I know its nice to just go with the flow on holidays, but for the sake of keeping your mind a little occupied, try to organise some fun things to do, like going out for dinner, or swimming, or site-seeing, anything like that. I've never been to the Bahamas, but I'm sure they cater well for tourists!


As for christmas, I know how you feel! I worry aboutit allending in an emet related disaster, too. It should be the happiest time of the year, we can't help but dread what could happen to make it the *worst* time of the year. But again, all that is just worrying about things that, in reality, have such a low probability of actually happening. We emets tend to think that the whole family coming down with sv*s is more likely to happen than everyone being perfectly fine and having a really lovely time...the latter is pretty much 95% ensured. Not an actual statistic, lol...but, you know what I mean. Get excited about Christmas, without worrying about the past - as traumatic as it would have been, just brush it off, and keep reminding yourself that the past is exactly that: the past.


Look forward to both of these events, I'm sure they'll turn out absolutely fine for you!


~Julie

[stella9]

I know exactly what you mean. I have been there on numerous occasions. I thought about you today when I picked my son up from school and he informed me that his art teacher showed a movie today. She was not up to teaching because she had a 101 degree fever, a bad cough and miserable cold/influenza. True, it is not the dreaded sv, BUT my son's school closes on Friday for winter break and many of his classmates are traveling for the holidays. My daughter has been sick for a week with nosestuffiness, fever, strep throat and now a horrendous unrelenting cough. This is not something anyone would want for a weeklong vacation. Why on earth would a teacher expose her sickness to all this kids? Her behavior validates your feelings on some level.





Stella