The Good Old Days?

[tayda]

Does anyone remember the good old days of being/ FEELING normal? Or wonder if they will ever be that way again?


TOday has just been one of those days... and it's only 10:30. I feel like I'm in a slump b/c of this and the anxiety. Even when I am not "currently anxious"... I still get the tighness in chest.. or shortness of breath... and it really sucks!


I've always been a worrier (obviously).. but w/ the new symptoms of severe anxiety the past 3-4 months is really beginning to take it's toll. I've tried therapy, meditation, and meds. And dson't get me wrong; they have all waorked... but seem like a temporary crutch.


It feels like the good old days of not fearing to do things or even falling asleep are long forgotten... and I hope I can get better and not be like this for the rest of my life.


I've read book after book.. and researched stuff online... to almost no avail.


It's like I just woke up one morning to these new nasty sensations.. and I don't know how I got that way.. and I don't know how I'm going to get rid of them. I'm only 23.. and the rest of my life.. (Hopefully) will be a long time... and I really don't wanna live with this that long...


anyone else get in those slumps... like you're just too bumned out.. to even be nervious or care about emet... even though.. it is a part of your huge problem?

[peachykeen]

I totally know what you mean. I've always had this phobia, but to a
much, much lesser degree than I do now. In the last few years I've
gone downhill, and fast. I used to just be afraid of seeing someone v*,
or being around someone that was s*. Now my anxiety is through the
roof. I live in constant fear of my kids getting s*, or my dh or I getting
s*. It's almost to the point that I don't want to leave the house or take
the kids out. They're not even in school yet and I'm horrible about it -
how much worse will it get when they start school?

I also just wish I could feel normal, like I used to. I want to be able to
go places, enjoy things, and not act like a freak all the time. I miss the
good old days too.

[kate1966]

I know exactly how you feel....sometimes I just want to give up on life all together...i try to think about my childhood and try to remember that i wasn't always like this...however it did start in the first or second grade...but i wasn't like on an everyday panic about V....now it's every single day....every single second i am thinking about it constantly...and i can't make it quit........i hate it...and i am always coming up with a new symptom....i am finally making myself go to the gastro doc...tomm in fact and i am so scared and nervous about the tests they are going to want to do.....but i know there is something wrong with me. It cannot possibly be all in my head...anyway my point is...i know exactly where you are coming from...all i can say is pray pray pray...

[mjewell]

I barely even remember my life without anxiety...but I often long for the times that it has faded into the background, and I wonder how and why that happened, and why hasn't it happened again? It was very very bad for me in jr. high and high school, then it all but disappeared in college and the year after I graduated. 3 years ago it came back with a vengenace. I've had ups and downs but it hasn't left me for one day since then. It is so easy to give up hope and get depressed. Somedays i feel like I am goingto have this for the rest of my life, but I try to remember lots of people outgrow it with age, and I hope that is the case for me.


One of the most frustrating things is like you mentioned - every time I try new therapy, meds, lifestyle changes etc, i get so excited because it really does seem to work...but alas, only for a few weeks, then I am back to the crap. It is very very depressing. I feel like i am a totally differnt person than I usedto be. What happened to that ambitious adventurous fun loving girl in her 20s? Oh wait, she is still in her 20s but acts like she is in her 70s. UGH!! Even my grandma has more fun than me.

[californiagirl]

Good old days?


When??

[samara's on tv]

I remember a 10 year stretch where all I was concerned about was OTHERS vomiting...and not all the time either. I mean during that period of time the only time I freaked out was when someone actually WAS Vomiting around me. And I was never afraid of myself doing it.


Then all of a sudden, at the beginning of this year, It started to freak me out SO BAD. I too wish I could go back to the good old days of not worrying so much. It seems like every second of every day I think about it. Like, "Will this make me sick" or "Will I get sick today"? It sucks!


~Monica

[*mandi*]

I so know what you mean. But I do this just about everynight when Im sitting here alone. I always think about the good ol days. When I felt free and alive!


Although Ive had this most my life since I was about 6 years old...I am now 24..I went throuhg a stage from about 11-16 where the emet wasnt bad at all. I was eating great...didnt have any anxiety or panic attacks. Everything was just perfect! but when I was 17...it all came back hard!


So yea..I always think about the good ol days and wonder if I will ever be like that again? It really depresses me. I end up crying thinking about it b.c. I feel so stuck and I just wish I could be that free fearless person again! The "real" me! Ya know? It just sucks!!


I've also tried medications...therapy..yada..yada..yada...and they were a "quick fix" didnt last. I am no longer doing any of those things b.c. I cant afford it anymore. Will it ever end???

[tayda]

Thanks for your responses, guys. I was kinda down the other day. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like that. Sometimes I get scared that I will forget what it was like, and stop striving to be that way again.


For the most part, I don't feel so much anxiety... when I am actually "doing something"... unless its something I'm "sketchy" about doing.


Today was alright for me.. my anxiety hasn't been as bad as it was the 2 weeks prior to my panic attack and the weeks following it...


My order for "The Germ Freak's Guide to Outwitting Colds and Flu" by Allison Janse w/ Charles Gerba, Ph.D. came in today.. so now I hafta find time to read it.


Thanks again you guys

[angel13]

I know how you feel, Tayda! Those days seem to long ago sometimes. The good thing is, every so often, quite unexpectedly, you WILL feel normal, and forget everything [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]those days are an absoluteblessing. Even just one of those every so often is a beacon of hope - they make you feel on top of the world, like you can tackle anything emet throws at you!

[liriodendron]

It was sort of the opposite for me. For a brief spell, I was doing a
lot of the unheathy stuff that you hear about commonly and I've found
it to get better over time. The phobia was virtually absent from my
life from about middle school up to the beginning of my second semester
at college because I didn't hear about any SF's then and didn't even
know they existed. Now that I know about them, things have changed in
how I live my life to some degree but I'm not all that disappointed
with those changes. In fact, I'm happier now than I ever was back
then.