She’s gone and she’ll never come back

[aussielaura]

Finally i have faced this and no one will talk to me about it because they grieved a long time ago.


3 years ago me and my best friend were 16, we had been best mates for 13 years, we went to a carnival in town and then walked home and went our separate ways, she had to cut through the bus shelter and me the park. Thats the last time i saw her. She was brutally raped and left to die in a public bus while i was minutes away from her. The next morning she was found by a bus driver and the ambulance was called she was barely breathing, he was too late she died in the ambulance. They found the man and he wasnt convicted because of lack of evidence.


For three years i've barely said a word my emet has got worse and i got anorexia. So i went to see a therapist and it all came out and now i realise i never grieved over her but i am trying to now but every1 has done there crying and trying to get over it and forget she existed. i want the pain to go away but i dont wanna forget about her.


What do i do?

[icicledreamz]

Dont forget she existed.


Just remember all the memories All the Great and funtimes you had together, and remember that she is always with you in your heart, and she is watching over you in a better place..I know it is very hard cause i have lost a few people who were close to me..I am so sorry you have to go through this..It is truely a horrible thing when friends die, and it is very hard to get over..but you just have to think that she is always with you, you just cant see her..she is mising you to..im sure of it..it also doesnt hurt to even talk out loud and let her hear you and how you are feeling..My heart goes out to you..best wishes..xox

[aussielaura]

Than you. I think i will talk out loud to her. i went to the place where we scattered her ashes and i just broke down. Had the intention of saying a few things but it never worked that way. Maybe i will try it in the comfort of my own home.

[hippychick]

Sadly this is one of the pains that we have to feel in order to move on. After my Dad died I did not deal with it for a very long time, boy did that ever bite me in the ass. I was so concerned with everyone elses pain and being there for my family that it wasn't until 6 years later the full force of it hit me (I was 10 when he died) Other people may have grieved but you have not yet. Let yourself feel and don't feel pressured to "get over it" I know how much this truely hurts but if you can get through this pain you can start to heal and move on with your life happier and you so deserve to be happy. Good luck babe, PM me anytime you want to talk.


xxxxxxxxx

[tayda]

Grieving is natural, don't feel bad about it. Many people who have lost loved ones.. especially those who were taken from them violently and/or unexpectedly grieve for a long time. SOmetimes it is too much to process at once, so we repress them. THe bad thing about repression is that it almost always comes up later. Perhaps this is your mind trying to say good bye and let go.


It's not your fault, and it's a good thing that you weren't there... she wouldn't have wanted that. I know that it's very hard to let go of the "I should haves, what ifs, and if only we hads..." but always remember it's not your fault, and try to find solstice in the fact that if you could have done anything to prevent this or help her... YOU WOULD HAVE...


It's always so sad when trageties like this happen.... I PMed you a few days ago.. my sister seems like you in a way about our mother. My family, along with the rest of us grieved in the present.. and she was more stunned or in shock... recently in the past few years she tries to talk to me about it... and I kind of push her away.... I don't mean to be cruel to her... it's just that it hurt so bad when it happened, and I just don't wanna bring back those emotions and feelings.... it was so painful the first time.... My reason for saying that is because I think that everyone is still heartbroken and grieving inside... and they want to be there for you... but it's hard to do that (I know it sounds selfish)... but even I still get very upset about it at times... it's one of those things that's always there... Deep cuts heal, and the pain goes away... but the scar will stay forever...


Keep trying to talk to people though.. it's important that they know how you feel... and that you know that they do.. (if that makes any sense).

[samara's on tv]

I know how you feel. Back when I was in highschool a friend of mine was shot to death on her way to school. It took me a few years just to realize how much I missed her. She wasn't my BEST friend but she was the only girl who would talk to me in highschool, she was the only girl who actually was nice to me. Everytime I go past the spot where she was killed I say a little prayer.


When my aunt died a few years ago it also took a little while to hit me. I was so worried about my mother and how she was feeling I didn't really feel anything myself. I'm sorry about your friend, I know it feels bad but she knows how you feel. I'm sure she's watching you. She knows.


~Monica

[aussielaura]

Tayda itmakes partfect sense and thanks again for the pm. Sha's (thats whati used to call her)mum is helping a little but she says it is very difficult for her to talk about her again after time was starting to help a little. Which i totally understand.


And Monica i know she is my guardian angel becasue sometime when i need a little moral direction in life or just someone to dry my tears i feel a little warmth in my heart i think i am just grabbing for her tho. Hope fully in time this will all get better but i know this is a stage i have to got hrough before anything else.


I put all the photo's of her back up and got out our old letters and stuff out. I've had them boxed up for all this time and i think its helping a little. Mum thought it would make it worse but i really thought i felt better after it.

[meercat]

Aww i wish i could hug you! I just have one thing to say to you for reassurance...please KNOW that she DOES hear you when you talk to her!! She is a beautiful spirit now and she knows even when you're just thinking of her :-) She can even still pray for you and you for HER!! :-) She truly is not gone...you just cannot see her physically anymore.

Peace to you, Laura!!

God bless!

Paula

[crystalmom]

I'm so sorry for your loss...especially now that you have allowed yourself to face the grief. And do that....grieve. It is a natural part of any loss, and you have every right to do just that.


I completely agree with meercat...she is with you. Her spirit is with you, and of course you can feel her; the warmth, is her helping you through this journey of life. Although I am not 'religious' in a manner of speaking, I AM very spiritual. Talk to her, she can hear you! Ask to talk to her in a dream, she may very well show up! Spirits love when you talk to them, and acknowledge them.


BIG HUG!


Crystal