Is this true?

[mistyeyes]

My therapist has recently told me that my goal is NOT to overcome my fear, but to learn to control it.


In other words, it is not possible to get rid of my emet, rather I must learn to react differently when I feel the fear.


I hope this is not true, because I want toNOT HAVE the fearanymore, not just learn to deal with it.

[kel12347]

My thought is that the first step is learning to control it, via managing your anxiety though rational thinking and relaxation techniques. I guess exposure therapy could also be a way of controlling your fear, because you are controlling what you are looking at to manufacture the fear. But I think the ultimate goal is for the fear to go away completely. The exposure therapy should take care of that, once you work all the way through the hierarchy. Maybe controlling the fear means managing the anxiety and fear so well that it no longer IS fear.


My goal is the same as yours, to have no fear at all. My ultimate goal is to be able to vomit and think, "I hate this! It sucks!" and that's it. Same thing with other people vomiting. I would make sure your therapist understands your goal, and if she can't help you with it, find someone else.


Good luck with your treatment!

[mistyeyes]

Ahhhh, thank you! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


That makes some sense. I guess what he meant is that by taking control of the fear, and learning to slowly expose myself to it, will, in the long run, it will cease to be a fear, because I will then be in control of my emotions.

[crystalmom]

Mistyeyes...I completely agree with Kel, and everything he said!!!


Kel....that's my goal too. To be able to have a sv, and complain about it, but just get on with life, not dwelling on the next time, or anything. To be like I am when i have a bad cold. I bitch and complain, and try to get people to pity me, and to take care of me, but otherwise, I feel it's just a part of life.


Crystal

[sage]

Ya - thanks Kel - good response! And btw, your goal can be anything you want, cuz it's YOUR GOAL. No one else can tell you what your goal is, for heaven's sake! Either this therapist can help you achieve it ... or not. But since others (such as myself) have overcome the fear, then it's absolutely possible.


But work with this therapist as long as you can, cuz controlling it (the anxiety) IS important first...then if you don't get the ultimate results you want, move on to someone else who can help you better.

[soluene]

I was also told that I would never overcome the fear, I would just learn how to cope. I think that is absolutely not true, because I have overcome fear after fear in the past 4 years. When I started graduate school, the word "blood" would cause me to go into such a panic during a lab meeting that I would have no idea what else was discussed. 2 years later, I was collecting blood samples from rats, and not only that, but I was in charge of the entire blood-collecting operation!


I suppose it is true that I am more likely to fear something new than the next person, and maybe that is what he meant? But I am also finding that as I get older, "new" things no longer scare me as they once did. And I rarely panic any more. So, not possible to get over your emet? NOT TRUE!!

[sage]

Yay soluene!


It's great to see you post - sorry I'm replying 2 weeks later! Hope you're doing well. And, great advice!

[asato]

I don't think anyone has the right to say you "can" or "can't" do something. Anything is possible. So many people have been told after an accident that they would never walk again and yet they did. I absolutely think people can be cured of emet. I'm sure it's a long hard road but it bothers me that people are told they can't be cured. It makes you feel hopeless! And hope and belief in your ability to overcome is the first step!

[kel12347]

Fears can be overcome. In college, I had a fear of public speaking. I got panic attacks whenever I had to talk in front of the class. Now I'm a lawyer, and speak in front of a judge and about 20 other people in the courtroom every day, and it doesn't bother me at all.

[sage]

"Overcome" and "successfully treated" are better terms than "cured", imo. "Cure" smacks of "instant" to me - like taking a pill for a headache, or a quick shot of penicillin for gonhorrea. In that context, there is no "cure". But there's a heck of a lot more than just "controlling it", also. Words are so important.


I agree about the hopeless feeling that these words can instill in a client, and therapists should watch themselves when they speak so flippantly.


Trust me, I'm living proof that it can be more than controlled - I can now look atvomiting the way Kel looks at public speaking - it just doesn't bother me at all!

[soluene]

Hi to you too Sage!